Posts Tagged ‘conundrums’

Otis and Maeve – mixed messages

SEX EDUCATION, a bawdy, bold and big-hearted British comedy series on NETFLIX, is about a 16-year old boy (Otis) with a Sex Therapist Mom (Jean) who gets talked into going into business with a badass cool girl (Maeve.) Maeve spreads the word that Otis is a sex therapist for high-schoolers. BUT Otis is totally inexperienced and in fact can’t deal with his own sexuality… yet he’s surprisingly intuitive when it comes to dealing with the problems of other teens.

awkward and awesome!

Otis and his Mom – love/hate

It’s a little bit of a parallel universe for me, since I’m someone who hates hospitals (especially the one my Mom frequented when she was dying)… yet now I’ve ironically extended my community service sentence voluntarily because (spoiler alert) I’m actually pretty good at helping others deal with being at the hospital. Go figure.

SEX EDUCATION’s outstanding cast is led by Asa Butterfield, as the nerdy inexperienced sex-pert. Gillian Anderson plays his frank, ff-ingly free and boundary-less mother.  Emma Mackey is brilliantly tender and tough in a break-out role that I would’ve loved to have gone out for before I aged-out of hottie-in-high-school parts. So sad…

I laughed and cringed as I binge-watched all eight episodes. It definitely left me wanting more… much more.

scene from a sex manual

True story. A couple of weeks ago…

I’m in Santa Monica, parked on Wilshire Blvd near 3^rd Street Promenade on the far-far right by the curb, facing the Ocean.  The sun is super bright, blinding me.  So I lean over the steering wheel to block out the sun and read/answer an email. Okay, yeah, I admit, it’s a long email.

SUDDENLY I hear a slow siren, then a Man’s DEEP VOICE over a LOUDSPEAKER.  My head pops up. Whaa?!

OMG! An enormous FIRE TRUCK is heading directly toward me! In my parking lane! On the wrong side of the street! Y I K E S!

My eyes dart from side-to-side. Where’s the fire?!

The bellowing VOICE:

Is everything all right?

What did I do wrong? Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve got this love/hate situation going with the two jobs in my life: Volunteering and Acting.  They sorta counter-balance each other and fill up different parts of me. I got into acting by accident, and forced into volunteering — but I can’t seem to give either of them up.

What I LOVE about VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER

• The Rush
• Helping Patients in need
• Working with dedicated Staff
• Making patients LAUGH
• Feeling Appreciated
• Giving Back
• Hanging-out with my Hot Doc
• Witnessing miracles
• Halloween in the ER
• Being called an “Angel”
• Finding the funny in the ER

What I HATE about VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER

• Blood
• Vomit
• Stinky Smells
• Bad News
• Crabby Staff
• Seeing Pain
• Screams
• Death
• Pelvic exams
• Demanding Family Members

What I LOVE about ACTING

• Working with talented Directors
• Working with talented Actors
• The Rush
• Being in the zone
• Getting Laughs
• Supportive Casting Directors
• Call-backs
• Nailing it
• Red Carpets
• Being Recognized
• Fans

What I HATE about ACTING

• Rejection
• Insecurity
• Feeling nervous
• No Call-back
• Distracted Casting Directors
• Not being Recognized
• Depending on it
• Being Typecast

Last night…  It’s a  typical night in the ER: one rainbow-haired “5150” who thinks he’s Jesus, restrained to the gurney;  two passionate hikers covered in red welts, itching in all the wrong places;  several “gunshot wounds” with gang members in the waiting room, demanding to know the status. Friendly? Or there to finish off the job?  I’m glad to have an excuse to leave for ten minutes when Triage Nurse, Anthony Chan shoves a wheelchair toward me with a Maternity Mom in it and a Dad next to it.

“Volunteer, take this couple up to L & D. Stat!”

On it! Gladly! I call up to L & D and tell them I’m on my way.

The Perils of PUSHING —

I speed-roll Maternity Mom +  Dad into the empty elevator.  Doors start to close, but a GIANT HAND intervenes. In walks a 6’6″ man attached to it. Uh-oh! With glares and territorial behavior happening in this elevator, it’s suddenly apparent… this  pregnant party isn’t a Couple… it’s a THRUPLE!!!

Maternity Mom (doubling over): “ooooooouuuuuuu…. eeeeehhhhhh….. ahhhhhhhhh!

Dad #1:” ” What are you doing here?”

Dad #2:  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Maternity Mom: “owwwww…. Owwwwwww… OWWWWWWW!”

Me: “Breathe.”

(Maternity Mom assumes the pushing face.)

Me: “Short breaths, fff–fff—fff”

Dad #1:  “Girl, I gave you everything!”

Dad #2 : “Nuh-uh, she needed more.” (pointing to his crotch.)

Maternity Mom: I need a BATHROOM!

Me: Don’t push.

Dad #1 to Dad #2: Fuck you!”

Dad #2 (louder):  “Fuck you!”

Maternity Mom: “Ow… OW…OWWWW… FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

(Exactly what got them all into this mess.)

Me: C’mon guys, obstetrics wasn’t covered in Volunteer Orientation!

Me: “Short breaths, blow, fff–fff–fff”

Dad #1:   “Breathe, baby —

Dad #2:   “Baby heart, you got this —

Maternity Mom:  “OWWWWWW! I’ve gotta get this outta me!”

(DING! Elevator door opens!)

Me: “CODE: BABY-COMING-OUT!”

(The Charge Nurse grabs the wheel chair)

Charge Nurse: “Taking her to Three. ”

(Dads shove each other out of the way. Charge Nurse blocks them.)

Charge Nurse: “Both of you. In the waiting room. Now! Don’t make me call Security.”

The door to Three closes. At last I can breathe.

I text Niles: “OMG, almost delivered a baby in the elevator”

PING! Incoming from Niles — Seth Meyers’ wife didn’t even make it that far.

OMG! SETH MEYERS’ WIFE Labored in the LOBBY!

YIKES!

Off-White Tee says it best!

Our nation is IN AWE of the fearless, resilient, articulate PARKLAND TEENS and their #Never Again Movement. They’ve taken on the President, Congress and the NRA and trust me, they’re just getting started.  Refusing to take “no” for an answer, they have more stick-to-itive-ness and chuzpah than the Senate and Congress combined.

When Leaders Act Like Children — CHILDREN BECOME LEADERS!

While the many who’ve tried and tried to make our country safer from maniac machine-gunners pessimistically shake their heads believing nothing will ever change, things actually are CHANGING… slowly but surely… It’s kind of A.MAZ.ING!

Headlines in the last week —

Walmart will raise age for purchase of firearms and ammunition to 21

A List of the Companies Cutting Ties With the N.R.A.

Dick’s Sporting Goods, a major gun retailer, to end sales of assault-style rifles after Florida massacre

Kroger Raises Age Limits on Gun Sales, Joining Walmart and Dick’s

WATCH-OUT out NRA! Parkland Teens are the LEADERS and VOTERS of tomorrow.

Hey Congress and President Trump — Isn’t it about time you GROW A PAIR?!

(Wish I could be as fearless as the Parkland Students. Maybe I need to find something I’m as passionate about. Sigh…)

Who knew that on NEW YEAR’S EVE the color of your underwear determines the color of your future for the following year?! Whaaaa?!  I knew about red underwear and the fertility issues, but had no idea I could create my own destiny by choosing the right butt-hugging hue. YIKES! I’ve probably been wearing black on the 31^st — the absolute wrong choice! So that explains why things haven’t been going my way for the last few years, career-wise or otherwise. Ugh!

NEW YEAR’S EVE PANTIES COLOR GUIDE

RED for hot-hot passion and maybe a surprise around September. But if checking into Labor and Delivery isn’t in your September plan for 2018, you might go for —

YELLOW for good fortune, prosperity and the ability to pay off your credit card (ahhh, that would be nice) or — Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday on my ER shift I almost go into cardiac arrest when I realize I’ve just fed a stack of crucial records for a critical Patient (currently in an ambulance speeding toward the ER) through the slot of a trash bin designated for shredding! In horror my eyes land on the big fat PADLOCK blocking my next move!  Nooooo!

Flash-back several minutes —

In the Waiting Room  Triage Nurse Anthony Chan, in his usual pissy mood, shoves two stacks of papers in my hands —

Personally hand this to the Charge Nurse and no one else, STAT! And stick these in the shredder bin. Within your skill-level, Volunteer?

I burst through the doors into Trauma, but the Charge Nurse isn’t there and no one knows where she is. I head toward the nearest Trash Bin to get rid of the other stack, but I run into Dr. A, who distracts me by making my heart beat faster (not my fault). Nonchalantly I slip the papers through the slot, flash him my killer smile and mosey on back to Triage…

I freeze when I spot Anthony Chan. F<#k! Read the rest of this entry »