FINDING THE FUNNY IN L & D

Labor & Delivery... an interesting place

Labor & Delivery… interesting…

Hospital Stories —

Wednesday afternoon on my ER Shift, a British woman, “preggers with twins,” comes in to deliver. As I wheel her upstairs, I ask if she’s nervous and she says — with out-stretched arms —

I’m a little scared about being strapped to the gurney during my C-Section!

Whaaaaa?!

Apparently her friend who had twins (at another hospital) told her that she had to be restrained during her procedure. So I say —

Uh, no – not in this hospital – unless you’re a mental patient.

She laughs —

Well that explains it!

So I drop her off in L & D (she’s smiling as I confirm with a nurse that they don’t use restraints) and I notice that in one of the delivery rooms they’re giving FLU SHOTS to the staff (is it time already?) Since anticipating shots freaks me out more than getting the shots,  I decide to get mine right then and there. Volunteers and Staff are required to have them if we work in the hospital, so it’s non-discretionary.

The nurse with the syringe tells me that if I relax my arm, it’ll hurt less. So I do and she’s right. I barely feel a prick. Then she gives me a hot pack and a cold pack and tells me to put heat, then ice at the shot site and says it’ll hurt less over the next couple of days if I do. Oh. Okay.

On my way out of L & D, a transport guy with a gurney (and a sense of humor) sees a group of pregnant couples on the Labor and Delivery Tour and jokes with one of the big-tummied-women,

I used to have what you have, but I lost the weight.

I laugh, but OMG — she looks like she’s about to kill him! I guess fat jokes aren’t funny in your 9th month (Thankfully, I wouldn’t know, ahaha.)

Flu Shots Don’t Have To Hurt… so much —

Downstairs for the rest of my ER shift I look like I have a giant football shoulder pad, but just on one side, (my hot-pack-cold-pack.) And though I look strange, I’ve gotta admit — it kinda works. I mean, for the next couple of days my arm sorta hurts a teeny-tiny, but not much at all. Really, not like usual. You should try it.

I’m gonna have to try to hang out more in L & D. They obviously have more fun up there than we do in the ER, plus the occasional perks… And they have cute OB/GYNs too (eat your heart out Dr. A!.)

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