I HATE Google Alerts

Will is such an ass he thinks it’s funny, but in less than 24 hours, I’ve managed to get a career’s worth of

bad press.

I think I’m keeping the sucking tabloids in business…

What, the trades need a bailout so they gotta target me?!

Hell, the Calendar section — Nikki Finke — Perez Hilton — !?!

O! M! G!

Could we get a little stock market crash or tsunami or asteroid attack

please!

— to get the 24 hour news cycle off me?!

“Breaking News” and it’s MY CAREER THAT’S BREAKING!!!

It’s in/sane… No phone, no going outside, Josh says to stay away from the windows, I hope dad doesn’t… oh god…– and screw TV, I’m unplugging everything, cuz this Google Alerts experiment is going crazy with the news…

KILL…  ME..  NOW…

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I’M A SLAVE IN E.R.!
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