Posts Tagged ‘conundrums’

chicken wire + glow-in-the-dark paint = stylishly spooky

Thankfully I don’t have to wear a hospital mask on October 31st  (thank you, Mira for covering for me!) so I’m prepping for the big night.  I know, I know — once I passed the quarter-of-a-century mark I thought I’d have to give up on my passion for pumpkins.

But after spending Halloween in NYC recently,  I realized it’s actually cool to be into Halloween. Seriously — just ask any New Yorker!

Anyway isn’t working in the ER scary enough with the Ebola-factor or having to deal with Triage Nurse Anthony Chan, who clearly doesn’t need a costume to totally freak me out?  And though Dr. Crush hasn’t done anything horrific, I’m trying to think of him as DEAD-TO-ME because he’s become such a Passive-Zombie lately. Is there a cemetery where I can go bury my feelings for him so I can stop feeling them…?

In an attempt to distract myself from my LIST OF LACKS: Jobs, Auditions, Romantic Sagas — I’m sharing a few more Halloween ideas.  And btw — my favorite source for GLOW — Glow Universe is having a final HALLOWEEN 15% off sale so if you need any glow sticks, check ’em out.

GLOW GHOSTS —

Balloons + Green Glow Sticks + Cheese Cloth = Tada!

 BLOODY MAT —

Roll of white paper + Red Paint + Feet = Ewwwwwuuu

GLOW DROPS–

Balloons + Orange Blow Sticks + Nylons to hang from trees= a romantic Halloween? if only…

SCALE-Y SKIN–

Fishnet Stockings + Green Make-up Base + Your Head = A new look for Auditions? HA!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Hope your October 31st has just the right mix of treats + scary. Be sure to stay out of ERs though, k?

xo/evie

Normally I dread mandatory meetings for Volunteers, but I actually was a little curious when we went to one about Ebola. Volunteering in the ER is a little scary when you think about it. Volunteers are often the first to come in contact with Patients as they walk through the door. We’re like the “first responders!” I mean I’d like to be a famous actor, but not because I’ve caught Ebola, yikes!

How in the world are we supposed to know if someone has the flu or food poisoning or Ebola? Early symptoms are the same: weakness, fatigue, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting.

Separating Facts from Fiction —

learn the facts

Charlayne says transmission occurs only through direct contact with blood or bodily fluids of patients who are ill from Ebola – or contact with needles or syringes that’ve been exposed. But what if someone sneezes on you? Does that count? Or what if you sit on a toilet seat that’s a little wet but you don’t know it till it’s too late?

Fear of the Unknown —

Niles says that the panic over Ebola reminds him of the paranoia around Aids in the early 80s when people were dying, but no one knew how you could catch it. That was before they knew about infected blood transfusions and all of the hows-and-whys of sexual transmission – so scary. Not-knowing is almost the hardest part.

Now people are really freaking out about Ebola — and with good reason (Did you see Contagion?) Imagine being on the flight where a coughing-hacking-guy announces to passengers, “I’ve got Ebola, you’re all screwed!” Imagine having someone take your temperature at JFK, or O’Hare, or Dulles Airport and then command you to, “Please come this way…”

Helping Patients with Ebola —

We’d all like to just live in our own bubble, but — if you have a family member or friend who’s exposed to Ebola, don’t you want to get him/her to a major hospital STAT? Wouldn’t you want to help? What if you were exposed? Wouldn’t you want someone to help you?

In our meeting they basically told us to “Purell” constantly + protect ourselves with gowns, gloves, face shield, mask, booties, shoe covers, leg covers if we “come in contact” – but the bigger question is: “How do you know when you’re coming in contact?” How can you help those who need it, if you have to put yourself at risk? Read the rest of this entry »

living the dream…

Volunteering in the ER is Icky-Sticky.  A plethora of Private Parts in Private Matters with Doctors asking questions — that trust me, I don’t need to hear. Curtains fly open as bare-assed Patients bend over in a Peep Show — that trust me, I don’t need to see! Bodily Fluids and Functions are F-ing embarrassing — even when they’re coming from someone else’s body.  Especially when they’re coming from someone else’s body.  It’s a lot to deal with…

Things Get Awkward When You —

• Chaperone a pelvic exam and the doctor says, “Spread your legs.”
• Feel nauseous as a Patient throws up in the emesis basin you just handed him.
• Ask a Transvestite if he/she prefers to be entered in the computer as a male or female.
• Hand over an ice bag to a doctor you’re trying to help and the cap comes off spilling ice all over him.
• Ask an Old Geezer if he needs help getting undressed and he says, “Yes.”
• Accidentally offer to dispose of a big bag of hypodermic needles, and then realize there’s no safe place to put them.
• Hit your head on the cabinet in the Patient’s Room and realize you’re bleeding more than the patient is.
• Have to tell a Patient you’re not a Nurse after she’s described her medical condition in embarrassing detail.
• Must pretend like you don’t smell anything, when it’s an obvious “Code Brown” situation.
• Enter an exam room just as you overhear a Man’s Voice say, “You’re about to feel a prick.”

Read the rest of this entry »

why not?

Why wait till the New Year to start over? The sunny-sun is shining — we can all shed some layers —  and days are longer, so why not make the most of them?!

SUMMER RESOLUTIONS 

Less
Can’t…

More
Can do!

Less
Maybe…

More
Definitely!

Less
Taking everything too seriously —

More
Finding the funny! Read the rest of this entry »

one, two, three, you can do it!

Oh.My.God!

Tonight was epic! Life-altering! Out-of-body!

I witnessed a BIRTH! Not in the movies. Not in my imagination. It was almost in the Hallway! Uh-huh, things were happening that fast!

Rewind —

Earlier on my ER Shift it’s busy-busy — but there are four Volunteers (including Mira and me) so no one seems to mind when I wheel a moaning OB Patient up to Labor and Delivery and never come back.

When Duty calls…

“Red” the OB patient (with ridiculously curly red hair) wobbles in from her Uber, nervous, excited and very much ALONE! In one swift move I grab a wheelchair, plop her into it and ring L & D to let them know we’re on our way up —

In the elevator Red starts blowing in through her nose, out through her mouth –”oooooou, aahhhhh” when the elevator operator asks “When are you due?”

Red’s face scrunches, reddens, she looks like she’s about to burst and WAILS  —

Now—-owwww! Ow-ow-owwwww!

Read the rest of this entry »

flowers aren’t even allowed

L.A. Pandemic! Yikes! L.A. Guys are coming down with the infectious slug that KILLS Romance! It’s devastating… DEV.A.STATING! Beeeeeeyond! I can’t even read the obits. Like young women everywhere — from Santa Monica to Burbank — I’m mourning silently… Say it ain’t so! But it is so — it’s sooooo so. The signs — they’re there…

SOB-SOB!

The 5 Signs of Death in Romance

1. Loss of Appetite –

The GUY: “I’m not that hungry, wanna share something?”
The Girl (silent): “Too stingy to pay for two meals, huh?”

2.  Labored Breathing –

The GUY: “Hey babe, wanna hook up?”
The GIRL (silent): “And why do I already feel fucked?” Read the rest of this entry »

Wait, is this my arc?

LIFE is the ultimate CONUNDRUM, right? I mean, what does it all mean?

What’s the effing point?!

Uhhh, the scarier question really is, what if there isn’t any… POINT? What’s my purpose? Why am I here? How the hell do I know if I’m on the right path?

Does “Entertaining” Count for CONTRIBUTING?

Acting feels fleeting, frustrating, and self-serving. Even when I book a job, when it’s over I’m back to auditioning again! And again, and again — Am I risking my sanity and wasting my time?  Am I just a hammy hamster going round and round and round and… Ug– ach– blug– BLEEAAUUUUCH! (sorry, I had to get that out.)

dizzy blond

Ever notice how in INSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO Actors come from messed-up lives? Does everyone have an imperfect life? Does portraying the human condition let everyone know — it’s cool to be flawed?  Are we all losers in an imperfect world? Should I run for President of Loserville? Read the rest of this entry »