Archive for the ‘feeling the pain’ Category

Voices in my head keep….

• interpreting warnings from CNN — scaring me about going just about anywhere, any day, any time —
• repeating Trump’s boisterous blunders – reminding me that 40% of the population seems to agree with him —
• warning me that newer, younger, hotter, blond actresses are now on the radar of the Casting Directors who used to champion me —
• cautioning me that I don’t know how to do anything except for Acting, Volunteering and Ubering —
• challenging me to be a little braver and collaborate on a short film or web series so I can gain control my own destiny —
• reminding me that my life of not knowing isn’t nearly as bad as those of the patients who come into the ER and find out really big things to worry about —
• channelling my mom and prompting me to find the funny even when it hurts.

“Get away from me!”

I don’t remember much about going to Sunday School other than it was kinda boring and something I was forced to do when I would’ve had way more fun hanging out with my friends or at the very least with my pillow on Sunday mornings. But lately with all of the hate-talk from Trump and the glaring racial injustice broadcast on every news station, email alert, hashtag and newspaper I’m reminded of something my Sunday School Teachers drummed into my uninterested brain —

“Prejudice is Fear.

It’s a definition I’d never heard before or after, but it stayed with me all these years.

Right now it rings truer than ever as —

• Donald the demagogue appeals to the emotions, fears and ignorance of uneducated Americans so he can gain power and promote his political motives.
• Police rookies unintentionally racial profile and shoot-first-think-later.
• Law-abiding citizens and families are being targeted because of their ethnicity or religion.
• Many of us avoid crowds, planes, civic and sports events in order to stay safe.
• We resist protecting the rights of others, worrying that it will diminish our own rights.

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“DEM-A-GOGUE — political leader who seeks support by appealing to popular desires and prejudices rather than by using rational argument.”

Usually I don’t post about politics, but we’re headed for a DYSTOPIAN DISASTER now that Donald Trump’s showing up worldwide as a face of our nation. What the f@#k are Republicans thinking when they cheer for this clown who has no filters? As Mr. Obnoxious blabs loudly on screens everywhere, we should all feel EMBARRASSED… and WORRIED if he ever gains power.

Early in Trump’s campaign I overheard two guys my age in a parking lot —

“I’m going to vote for him, I think it’ll be funny —

and they both burst out laughing.

NOT funny guys–

Trump is Ticking-Time-Bomb SCARY.

Imagine a “commander-in-chief” who belittles, sexualizes and stereotypes women, calling them “fat pigs”, “dogs”, “slobs” and “disgusting animals.” A potential “role model” who describes Mexican immigrants as “rapists.”

How can anyone with common sense vote for an insensitive “leader” who says he doesn’t “have the time for political correctness?” Or a loose-cannon who spouts memories he can’t back up with facts? Or a bully who in front of the world of cameras makes fun of someone’s disability?

How can we stand for a presidential candidate who says a Black Lives Matter Protestor “deserved to be roughed up?” OMG! This potential “leader” thinks all people of a particular faith should register! Doesn’t this remind you of Adolf Hitler?

The leader of our country is not a joke, people. It’s time to get serious.

Deadly serious…

I can’t turn it off!

Breaking up is even harder to do now that we have Social Media. Never before has it been soooo easy to torture yourself at the end of a relationship. No one needs to be Sherlock Holmes to sleuth around online 24/7.

CLICK CLICK CLICK you discover who and what your ex is doing. Ugh. (You probably get more information now that you have more free time, than you ever did when you were in the relationship.) It’s a nightmare of epic proportions! And a great way to stall the healing process with —

Ta Da! No closure! Never! Ever!

The “longing” is longer-lasting, the hurting, hurts more. You can’t heal, if you keep lifting the band-aid to peek.

And it’s soooo easy to peek at – Read the rest of this entry »

Be that person!

The world seems kinda messed up. An awful lot of haters and fighters are being very LOUD. Since we’re here for a relatively short time, it seems wise to do something, somehow, someway that makes the world a better place, even if we do it quietly. If doing “Global Good” feels like too tall of an order, we can at the very least do something that makes someone’s world better. Something that brings a smile to a face instead of a frown. Think of it as a DAILY GOOD DEED, a gift that keeps on giving.

KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS!

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hope there’s a point

Why am I doing this? Who knows why?

Trying to make it as an actor when most people fail.  Stressing myself out every step of the way.  Worrying if I’ll get the audition – worrying if I’ll look the part – worrying if I’ll get the part. Then what if I get it and the project’s not good, or even worse – what if I’m not good?

Is it Worth It?

Is the gain worth the pain – the late night Deejaying, the Temp jobs, the Uber-driving – just because Acting’s my passion? Is it really my passion or something I’ve had some success with? Am I holding on too tight to the encouraging words from CDs and Producers in my corner – the ones who say they’d love to work with me again when the right project comes along. Am I too little-too-late? Are my supporters and successes too few and far between?

Can I be passionate about something else? Maybe instead of putting all of my effort into what I think my passion is, it might be smarter to work on finding another passion. How does one find a passion? Through a Passionologist?

Volunteering in the ER —

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nothing’s gonna stop them now

During my Amazing Mom’s much-too-short life she managed to find the funny during the darkest of times, so unsurprisingly I raced out to see THE SKELETON TWINS opening weekend after learning that it’s about family members (Maggie and Milo) who use humor to cope.

It certainly didn’t hurt that it was a Sundance Best Screenplay winner — and then when I read that that Writer/Director Craig Johnson and stars Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader would be doing Q&As after some of the weekend screenings, the deal was sealed. Win/Win for me as I managed to score a ticket (to what would be a sold-out performance) at the Landmark in West L.A. where Johnson and Hader were planning to appear.  Big YAY!

SMART COMEDY

To me Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are the “best of” modern-day SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. I’m devastated that now they only guest on the show.  But it’s awesome seeing them on the big screen where they shine even brighter. In THE SKELETON TWINS they take talent to a whole new level tackling layered, complex roles and dramatic situations (like suicide, career failures and adultery) with creativity and expertise.

People say that comedy actors are really smart (Lisa Kudrow/Vassar, Jenny Slate/Columbia, Sasha Baron Cohen/Cambridge) because their brains are so creatively quick. Watch any Robin Williams interview to see how his train-of-thought is light-years ahead of the rest of us. It’s not a skill one can acquire, COMEDY is part of the DNA for the lucky ones.  Lemme tell you after seeing Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig seamlessly dance back-and-forth from drama to dramedy — hitting every mark in every frame — I’m guessing that both of them are off-the-charts smart! Read the rest of this entry »