Random Thoughts: WHAT’S THE POINT?

Wait, is this my arch?

Wait, is this my arc?

LIFE is the ultimate CONUNDRUM, right? I mean, what does it all mean?

What’s the effing point?!

Uhhh, the scarier question really is, what if there isn’t any… POINT? What’s my purpose? Why am I here? How the hell do I know if I’m on the right path?

Does “Entertaining” Count for CONTRIBUTING?

Acting feels fleeting, frustrating, and self-serving. Even when I book a job, when it’s over I’m back to auditioning again! And again, and again — Am I risking my sanity and wasting my time?  Am I just a hammy hamster going round and round and round and… Ug– ach– blug– BLEEAAUUUUCH! (sorry, I had to get that out.)

dizzy blond

dizzy blond

Ever notice how in INSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO Actors come from messed-up lives? Does everyone have an imperfect life? Does portraying the human condition let everyone know — it’s cool to be flawed?  Are we all losers in an imperfect world? Should I run for President of Loserville?

Is the POINT finding PURPOSE?

With time on my hands (the benefits of not booking a Pilot, even though I went to ten zillion auditions) I Volunteer more at the Hospital (go Evie!) And sure, people in the ER have real problems, and yeah ok – sometimes seeing theirs help me put mine into perspective, blah, blah blah. But – really even in the ER everyone just wants to get back to his/her own imperfect life. When life’s being threatened, we just want it back — the good, the less-than-good, all of it. We want more time to get it right. We all have dreams — we  wanna make them come true. We wanna feel good about ourselves and what we’re doing.  Hey, wait —

Maybe that’s “THE POINT.”

Maybe LIFE’s never supposed to be exactly where or what we want it to be. Maybe we’re supposed to keep dreaming, working,  reachingtrying to make sense of it. 
Oh. Is the JOURNEY the POINT?
Omg! Deep-thinking is exhausting (I really need a nap, STAT!)

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4 responses to “Random Thoughts: WHAT’S THE POINT?”

  • chris shaw:

    Evie (or whoever reads these responses)

    I don’t know how much of your website is PR made by handlers, and how much is you, but something worked for me, soooo…..

    Here’s some feedback.

    The “What’s The Point” section of your site gives you substance, likability, and inspires readers to follow your acting in hopes of finding deep messages and relevance.

    Same goes for your work in the emergency room.

    The “Welcome” clip pretty much obliterates that. It feels like a self-congratulatory, vanity fluff-ball produced by a shallow male lead, too selfish to even list your name in the trailer.

    My advice, go deep. Get the flock out of LA, at least metaphorically. Build your own role that is raw, gritty, honest, and reflects the deeper themes that you touch on in your site. If you want any help, let me know.


    P.S. if this is just some handler reading this, all of the above still holds, and puh-leeze don’t stick my email on some friggin spam list. ok?

    • Evie...:

      Sometimes it feels like no one’s out there, so thoughtful, constructive comments like yours really mean a lot to me, Chris! Going deeper can feel uncomfortable, but vulnerability makes us human, right? (Will try harder to get there.)
      Thanks for caring and for taking the time…

      • chris shaw:

        Hi Evie.

        you wrote:
        >> Sometimes it feels like no one’s out there…

        Don’t you worry, people are out here. In droves. Alienated and searching for meaning like never before. (Type the three words “social media loneliness” into your browser, hit “return”, and check out the avalanche of documentation.) These are largely young people. A huge and hungry demographic.

        Your job, Mrs. Phelps, should you choose to accept it, is to catch their empathy. To move them. To bring significance to their lives by showing them a mirror and a mentor in your roles as an actress — both on screen and off.

        You have the bones for a really good start in your website. If a random lost or depressed person types “What is the point?” into their browser, and hits “return” — bingo, they go to your site. That is stinking brilliant! (Don’t know if that came from Jason or you. Doesn’t matter. It’s a great start. Needs to be developed more.)

        Then, the fact that your site offers humor is brilliant too — but it can’t be fluffy humor. These are lonely and troubled seekers. Which brings us to…

        …Your ER job. Steeeenkin brilliant!, because it delivers real, visceral contact with the carnal human animal, which is so lacking in narrow-bandwidth social interactions. Basing your humor here gets you super-points.

        This is not to suggest that what you are doing is all a show to promote your career as an actress. In fact, it doesn’t feel like that at all. It feels like you are honestly looking for something more than just “acting”.

        The problem with roles like the one you played in “Welcome” is that it feels like you’re just “acting”. The deeper relevance that you’re searching for — and that people who could be attracted to you are searching for — is missing from that role. Consequently, you can’t get your teeth into that performance. Of course, that’s just my opinion, and who the hell am I?

        Well, actually I’m a guy that made an independent feature that was described as “brilliant” and “a timeless political-religious parable” by the LA Times. (Shoot, I thought it was a comedy), and still has rabid fans around the world. I am not suggesting that you necessarily go as far off the beaten path as I did, but I am offering feedback if you want to follow a more individual and heartfelt path toward creating a persona and role that you can really own.

        In any case, good luck with it all. The site and the feelings you express there are a great start!

        • Evie...:

          That’s quite a challenge Chris. Isn’t finding significance and meaning in life the ultimate universal question?

          I just took your advice and googled “social media lonliness” and yeah, bingo – a lot of humans are feeling it. It feels like billions of people are starving for a human connection and attempting to get there via social media, but it’s counter-productive because everyone’s actually hidden behind a screen. Still, reaching out is a start. And seeing that so many want to connect is hopeful in some way, at least it feels that way to me.

          Congratulations on making an independent film that touched people deeply. Isn’t that what everyone wants – to touch others, to communicate and connect on some level and to be understood?
          You’ve given me a lot to think about…

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