Last night it was pretty quiet on my ER shift except for this Jersey Shore-ish family, “The LOUDS” who made a scene in the Hallways, in Triage, in Trauma — basically everywhere they felt they had an AUDIENCE!
SECURITY to Room 16 STAT!
– and like eight security guards rush in to break things up.
But other than that, it was actually uneventful. So I took eavesdrop-notes (on my Post-its) because even though I think I’ll always remember the hospital’s conversational gems, I don’t always.
I don’t think I’m breeching PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY (at least I hope not!) because I’m not naming any names.
My friend Mira always says,
You never know who’s listening or watching in the ER!
and she’s right! I am! ahaha!
NURSES can be a total riot when they’re jabbering away. (Dr. A wasn’t working, so I had to do something to entertain myself!)
OVERHEARD IN THE ER: Hospital Soundbytes
- “The patient was lying butt-naked on the floor. I nearly threw up, but I think I got beyond it.”
- Why are you wearing lipstick? You need to look ugly like the rest of us.”
- “Dr.—–’s a total jerk, but his wife is so sweet, she overcompensates for him.”
- “We heard about Room 3, the little rendevous.”
- “No lust.”
- “It’s okay Baby, we understand”
- “Dude just tell me what to do. Do not tell me to call back 5 times.”
- “I felt like I was on Jerry Springer, which I didn’t actually mind, but I was worried I was gonna get hit.”
Do you ever take eavesdrop-notes, or wish you had? Try it, it’s fun. Just remember — don’t use any names (especially mine!) Ahaha!