living the dream…

Volunteering in the ER is Icky-Sticky.  A plethora of Private Parts in Private Matters with Doctors asking questions — that trust me, I don’t need to hear. Curtains fly open as bare-assed Patients bend over in a Peep Show — that trust me, I don’t need to see! Bodily Fluids and Functions are F-ing embarrassing — even when they’re coming from someone else’s body.  Especially when they’re coming from someone else’s body.  It’s a lot to deal with…

Things Get Awkward When You —

• Chaperone a pelvic exam and the doctor says, “Spread your legs.”
• Feel nauseous as a Patient throws up in the emesis basin you just handed him.
• Ask a Transvestite if he/she prefers to be entered in the computer as a male or female.
• Hand over an ice bag to a doctor you’re trying to help and the cap comes off spilling ice all over him.
• Ask an Old Geezer if he needs help getting undressed and he says, “Yes.”
• Accidentally offer to dispose of a big bag of hypodermic needles, and then realize there’s no safe place to put them.
• Hit your head on the cabinet in the Patient’s Room and realize you’re bleeding more than the patient is.
• Have to tell a Patient you’re not a Nurse after she’s described her medical condition in embarrassing detail.
• Must pretend like you don’t smell anything, when it’s an obvious “Code Brown” situation.
• Enter an exam room just as you overhear a Man’s Voice say, “You’re about to feel a prick.”

Yep, all of these things have actually happened to me and this is only the tip of the ice bag, ahaha.

euwww!