Posts Tagged ‘find the funny’

Labor & Delivery… interesting…

Hospital Stories —

Wednesday afternoon on my ER Shift, a British woman, “preggers with twins,” comes in to deliver. As I wheel her upstairs, I ask if she’s nervous and she says — with out-stretched arms —

I’m a little scared about being strapped to the gurney during my C-Section!

Whaaaaa?!

Apparently her friend who had twins (at another hospital) told her that she had to be restrained during her procedure. So I say —

Uh, no – not in this hospital – unless you’re a mental patient.

She laughs —

Well that explains it!

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I can’t turn it off!

Breaking up is even harder to do now that we have Social Media. Never before has it been soooo easy to torture yourself at the end of a relationship. No one needs to be Sherlock Holmes to sleuth around online 24/7.

CLICK CLICK CLICK you discover who and what your ex is doing. Ugh. (You probably get more information now that you have more free time, than you ever did when you were in the relationship.) It’s a nightmare of epic proportions! And a great way to stall the healing process with —

Ta Da! No closure! Never! Ever!

The “longing” is longer-lasting, the hurting, hurts more. You can’t heal, if you keep lifting the band-aid to peek.

And it’s soooo easy to peek at – Read the rest of this entry »

“stepping” into the unknown

I never was a Neil LaBute fan before. Never-ever. I even gave away my NLB play tickets at the Geffen. He was too misogynistic for me, too cruel in his POV.

So imagine my surprise when I got sucked into the trailers for Billy & Billie. Yep, Neil LaBute tempted me with his half-cracked ROM COM about step-siblings who try to navigate their taboo romance. Awkward.

Yep, it’s Awkward. meets Modern Family —

And everything about it is Awkward! and Modern. It’s very real and really good,  starting with the casting and acting.  Adam Brody is the grounded, cool-but-hot Billy. If he were my brother, I’d be attracted to him too! Oh yeah!

Raunchy & Romantic —

Lisa Joyce is his sexy-but-slightly-insane step-sister, Billie. Joyce’s Billie reminds me of almost all of my friends right before they get their period. She blurts out uncensored thoughts constantly, never stopping to process. Billie is crudely charming, protectively daring and infuriatingly adorable.  So far B&B have been keeping their relationship a secret, but that’s about to change… Read the rest of this entry »

Trendsetter!

It’s Pilot Season again: Yay, there’s OPPORTUNITY, but UGH I don’t fit the profile. White Blonds are an endangered species this Pilot Season! Seriously, this is NOT a joke!

PILOT SEASON is DEFINITELY INTO DIVERSITY —

Sure it’s great, and a long time coming, but  it’s a trend I can’t figure out a way to be part of.  In 2015 CDs are looking for leads that don’t look like anyone else.  Ken Jeong will be playing a version of himself in ABC’s autobiographical “Dr. Ken.” (wish there’d be a medical comedy about about my life!) Whoopi Goldberg will co-lead opposite Jermaine Fowler in CBS’s multi-camera comedy, “Delores & Jermaine.” Mike Epps will be Uncle Buck in, yep you guessed it, ABC’s “Uncle Buck.”  Orange is The New Black’s Laverne Cox will play a transgender attorney in CBS’s “Doubt.”  Paula Patton (I loved her in Precious) will play a woman whose perfect life is torn apart on ABC’s “Runner” while Aunjanue Ellis will be going coming from The Help to needing help in ABC’s Terrorist Thriller “Quantico.” Behind the camera, Selma’s Ava DuVernay will be going from the big screen to the small screen for CBS’s civil rights drama, “For Justice.“

And — it’s almost as if I’m experiencing REVERSE AGEISM,  because in 2015 —

OLDIES-BUT-GOODIES ARE LEADING THE WAY on Network TV

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recipe for a sparkly 2015!

1. LUG YOUR LUGGAGE around the block – (Packed with the the things you’ll need on your “Dream Vacay”.)
2. Go on a HOUSE CLEANSE on the 31st  (Mop up the old mess so you can make room for the new mess.)   
3. GRAB THE GRAPES — (In-between midnight hugs and kisses eat 12 of them, making a wish with each of the 12 months to come.)
4. CARRY CASH at midnight – (For prosperity in the New Year… and while we’re on that subject…)
5. Put a GOLD RING in your Glass for the promise of riches — (But be sure you don’t swallow it, because that’ll insure a trip to the ER instead — which is so not where you’ll want to be on New Year’s Eve, trust me)!
   
6. Light COLORFUL CANDLES to create different outcomes — (Light a green one for good health, a yellow to improve your finances, an orange one for wisdom and a blue one for peace. Oh, and don’t forget the red one for the promise of PASSION!)
7. On the 31^st open the front door and SWEEP OUT NEGATIVITY but open the windows to LET POSITIVITY IN – (But don’t sweep anything out on the 1^st, especially a HANDSOME MAN bearing gifts : )
8. MAKE A LIST of all of the things you want to forget in 2013– (Then light it on fire!)
9. LIGHT FIREWORKS (Scare away Evil Spirits!)
10. JUMP UP-AND-DOWN at Midnight – (Go as high as you can to encourage physical and mental growth.)
11. If your UNDIES are INSIDE-OUT or BACKWARDS — and you switch things around the first few minutes in the New Year, it either means the RED CANDLE worked and you started out the year with PASSION or you’re going to get all New Clothes (Something I can get very passionate about, ha!)
12. Oh, and if you’re wearing RED UNDERWEAR when you light the RED CANDLE, and move in for the MIDNIGHT SMOOCH and whatever it leads to — you need to know… RED UNDERWEAR signifies FERTILITY in Italy. (So if you’re Italian or in Rome when all of this happens or your RED underwear is backwards shortly after midnight — you might be expecting more than GOOD LUCK in the coming year.) Uh-oh!

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At least I’m consistent!

Mistakes… we all make ’em.  We stress and horrible-ize about ’em BIG TIME — reprimanding ourselves relentlessly, wishing we could do-over, say-over whatever we are currently torturing ourselves about. We need an Ap for TAKING THINGS BACK! If only…

Second-Guessing

As life plays out in the foreground, our brain blames us in the background.  Recently I had a meeting with a team of Casting Directors at a major network and for some unexplainable reason at the end of it I hugged one of them instead of shaking her hand.  Granted I’d worked with her before, but after I left I couldn’t believe what a weird choice that was. Afterwards in the car I kept thinking about it — in the shower I kept thinking about it — as I tried to go to sleep, I kept thinking about it. Crazy, right?  And almost to the point of a migraine — over a hug. A dumb hug!

While volunteering in the ER I make mistakes (shhhhh!) like taking a patient to a room before it’s ready, or taking specimens to the wrong lab,  but the ones that bug me the most are the personal ones – the ones with certain staff members — one hot one in particular.  Like why in the world did I tease him about whatever he does every Thursday at 2:00? He looked at me like, “Why are we talking about this, and why do you even know about it?” (What’s the matter with you, Evie!)

How about a Do-over???

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You’re never too young to learn “how to” look at the bright side… or make lemonade… or be glass-half-full. My Mom really had the most amazing way of getting through the toughest stuff with her uncomplain-y attitude and ability to add a little levity to anxiety-provoking situations.  No matter how many times Mom visited the ER… or went through surgery… or lasted through chemo… or got stuck with nasty needles — she’d be more worried about making things okay for me than anything else.

Like Mother, Like Daughter ??

Unfortunately I didn’t inherit all of her optimistic genes and she forgot to leave me her rose-colored glasses. But as I juggle my struggles (which are so unimportant when you compare them to health struggles), I try to minimize the drama and maximize the comedy in order to honor the memory of my Mom. When I’m able to make a patient in the ER laugh — or make myself laugh when I least feel like it, I’m channeling her. Obvi. Read the rest of this entry »