one, two, three, you can do it!

Oh.My.God!

Tonight was epic! Life-altering! Out-of-body!

I witnessed a BIRTH! Not in the movies. Not in my imagination. It was almost in the Hallway! Uh-huh, things were happening that fast!

Rewind —

Earlier on my ER Shift it’s busy-busy — but there are four Volunteers (including Mira and me) so no one seems to mind when I wheel a moaning OB Patient up to Labor and Delivery and never come back.

When Duty calls…

“Red” the OB patient (with ridiculously curly red hair) wobbles in from her Uber, nervous, excited and very much ALONE! In one swift move I grab a wheelchair, plop her into it and ring L & D to let them know we’re on our way up —

In the elevator Red starts blowing in through her nose, out through her mouth –”oooooou, aahhhhh” when the elevator operator asks “When are you due?”

Red’s face scrunches, reddens, she looks like she’s about to burst and WAILS  —

Now—-owwww! Ow-ow-owwwww!

I’ve never seen someone pushing, but it looks just like it sounds. Red starts pushing before the door opens, so when it does I push her out fast, faster, FASTER toward the L & D desk. (What’s the code for BABY ON THE WAY OUT?!)

No need to explain — when the Charge Nurse sees Red’s legs start to bend into position,  she barks at me —

Get her to Bed 7, Stat!

I’m “statting-it” fast as I can, when Red begs me to stay!  Her husband’s flying in from a San Francisco business trip. Her Mom’s flying in from Memphis — so suddenly I’M Family!

Whaaaa me? But I’ve never… I’m not sure it’s allowed… it is? I can? Oh uhm, well okay I guess…

The rest is a blur. I fan Red’s face with my Post-its, hold her leg open with my other hand, and babble —

 “You’re doing great, just great, great-great-great.”

With the nurses and doctor I chime, “One, two, three, Pushhh!” (It’s just like TV only messier and smellier!) In between push-cheers I wet a wash cloth and dab her sweaty forehead. I have no idea if I’m even helping,  but I “act” like I do this all the time (trust me don’t!)

And then —

Red pushes and PUSHES and out pops a little munchkin with —

you guessed it —

RED HAIR!

Suddenly I don’t care about the yucky goop —

or the smelly smells —

I’m in the AWE of the MOMENT ….

the extraordinary, earth-shaking, priceless moment of LIFE!

It’s beyond-beyond-BEYOND!

I’ll never forget this night–

Never, ever, ever,

ever-ever-EVER!