funny bone

Tonight on my ER shift, I’m walking down the hallway and I see this little Kid (two or three-ish) running around in circles, just outside Gyno (the room I NEVER want to be in).

The thing is, kids aren’t supposed to run around the ER–

It’s dangerous.
There are a gazillion germs.
Sick People aren’t really into Wild Kids.

So I pop into the room and ask the Mom if she wants me to play with him, which is a rhetorical question ( I think that’s the right usage) – because the Mom is flat on her back on a gurney, so of course the answer is, “Obvi.”

ER Volunteers Need To Be Creative

I say, “I’ll be right back” and go into the Storage Room (where the ice machine is) and grab a bunch of cups. Since I’m not sure if it’s allowed, I kind of hide them under my Volunteer Smock, which no one notices, since no one would ever actually look at someone wearing such a hideous outfit.

Back in the room, the Kid (notice how I don’t use names — I’m getting SO good at this Patient Confidentiality stuff) and I sit on the floor building cups. Yeah, yeah – I know there are a disgusting germs on the floor, but I try really hard not to think about them. Usually I don’t ask personal questions about why patients are at the hospital, because I figure they’ll tell me if they want me to know.

So as we’re building our architectural cup masterpiece, the Mom mentions that the Kid was born here two years ago (oh—I guess that makes him two- duh!)  So I ask if it was a happy experience (expecting a “yes” since the best reason to come to a hospital is when you get to take home something besides a bill) but she says, “No.” Apparently she and her husband didn’t think the doctor and nurses were the nicest (oops!)

Sometimes It’s Hard To Know What To Say

She goes on to say that her husband (who’s away on business in Chicago) insisted she come into the ER tonight to be checked because she’s spotting (I didn’t even know she was pregnant.)

I say, I’m really sorry and she goes, “But, tonight’s a completely different experience. Everyone’s so nice and attentive.” Whaaa?

Isn’t it weird she thought things were bad on a good day and good on a bad day?

(Has it ever happened to you where something turned out good from something bad or vice versa? Let me know in the comments.)

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