funny bone

if only I could affect the future

Last year I tried out a few New Year’s Superstitions (NOT all 20). If nothing else, I had a good laugh.  I opened all of the windows — let the old year escape, danced around a tree, and let my dirty locks flow through the air (oh yeah, I was a sight to behold!)

The Jury’s Still Out —

I have no idea if they worked or not, but things could be a lot worse! I’ve just researched 20 more and figure they’re worth trying. You never know…

WEAR NEW CLOTHES on New Years Day and you’ll get more during the year —
(isabel marant? vanessa bruno? barneys? hope-hope!)

NOISE MAKERS:. Blast the Fireworks, Ring Church Bells — scare away the meanies —
(time to blast Briana!)

MIDNIGHT KISS that person you’ll want to rekiss all year —
(guess I’ll be working the ER night shift…hmmm…)

DRAIN THE BOTTLE and good fortune will come your way —
(a little suggestive, isn’t it?)

JUMP SEVEN WAVES and THROW FLOWERS INTO THE SEA for good luck —
(if you’re not near the ocean, you might have a problem)

SCATTER COINS around the house so money will come your way all year round —
(this seems pretty obvious — just look for it in your house)

HIDE KNIVES in the house for 24 hours so no one will be hurt and the fortune will remain undisturbed —
(sounds like the beginning of a horror flick)

LIGHT UP the house so the coming year will be bright —
(this sounds like something my mom would’ve made up)

WEAR POLKA DOTS – anything round signifies prosperity —
(this might be tough to pull off, unless you’re a clown)

JUMP 12 TIMES at midnight to increase your height —
(maybe do this before you drain the bottle, otherwise things could get messy) 

EAT STICKY RICE, to make good fortune stick in the New Year —
(I love Asian food anyway)

WORK IT OUT: Do a sample of the work you’d like to have loads of in the year —
(I’ll be making a tape to send Jason Reitman!)

FIRST FOOTING: The first person to enter your home after the stroke of midnight will influence the year you’re about to have —
(i’ve got an emergency —  a certain doctor needs to stop by!)

FILL YOUR POCKETS on New Years Eve you will never have an empty pocket in the New Year —
(i need a pocket full of miracles)

WALK YOUR LUGGAGE out of your house and around the block encourages travel in your New Year.
(or travel to the nearest mental facility if anyone notices you doing this)

EAT GREENS and you’ll have lots of green money in the coming year.
(La Scala chopped salad?)

THROW RICE GRAINS at midnight and you’ll have an abundance —
(of what? Rice? Weddings? A mess to clean up?)

Put a GOLD RING in your champagne glass and you’ll have prosperity —
(unless you swallow it — then life will be a lot shorter)

CLIMB A CHAIR 12 times will make you find a boyfriend or girlfriend next year —
(wait.. how do you climb up a chair?)

BE UNDER THE TABLE and WEAR RED UNDERWEAR at midnight and you’ll get married next year —
(I’m not telling you what color underwear I’ll be wearing, but if you’re under the table with me, you might find out! ahaha!)

(What superstitions do you follow on New Year’s Eve?)

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