Archive for the ‘life in the ER’ Category

pink is a serious color

Hearing CODE WHATEVER on the loudspeaker is pretty typical in the hospital.  The most common ones are Code Blue (Medical Emergency) or Code Red (Fire/Smoke).

When it’s Code Red, the overhead lights start flashing like there’s no tomorrow and the doors auto-close and it’s easy to get a little freaked-out because what if there really was a fire and the doors closed so you couldn’t get out?  But every time I’ve heard “Code Red” (they always mention the location) within seconds there’s another announcement that says “Code Red All Clear.”

But today’s a different story. I’ve just dropped off a L & D (Labor & Delivery) Patient on 3 and I’m about to go back down to the E.R. when I hear —

CODE PINK 3 WEST! CODE PINK 3 WEST!

Code Pink = Infant Abduction. Code Pink means that EVERYONE on the staff – ANYWHERE in the hospital is supposed to drop what he/she is doing and BLOCK the nearest exit. Read the rest of this entry »

Just got home from an exhausting Sunday eve in the E.R. and before I watch “Entourage” I need to vent about the CHALLENGES OF COMMUNICATION, specifically about – –

Being HEARD!

It’s the 5:00 to 9:00 shift and I land in the waiting room from hell! Anthony Chan is being particularly pissy. Multi-tasking, he takes vitals of a SOB (in E.R. speak that’s “shortness of breath” guys) and answers the phone abruptly but he keeps getting interrupted by this 60ish man who looks like he’s about to blow a gut. The gut blower demands that Anthony listen to him NOW.  Anthony snaps condescendingly — Read the rest of this entry »

Yikes!

OMG! Welcome to my —

N I G H T M A R E !

It’s an EMERGENCY SITUATION

Tonight in Triage —

• A high maintenance celeb panic-attacking
• A screamy-meemy breaking my eardrums
• A flu-inflicted boy leaving a very gaseous trail
• A foreigner with his infected toe oozing out of his socks
• A moany mommy in labor with a freaked-out baby daddy
• A hungry homeless man begging for a hot meal
• An oldie-but-definitely-not-goodie barfing
• A super cute paramedic rolling in a bloody GSW
• A cocky gynecologist making me chaperone his pelvic exam (Euuu!)
• A bitchy resident making it her job to torture me
• Charlayne, my supervisor giving me the evil eye

I thought I’d gotten better about handling things, but gross bodily fluids don’t work for me.

Get me some wine and a midnight yoga class, stat!

CODE whatever!

Just get me outta there!

he needs a bear hug

Arrivederci vacay!
Last night it’s back to my dreaded reality (ugh!) Running late, I’m already in deep do-do as I listen to three escalating voicemails from Charlayne, translating to: “Where the F are you!?”

The ER is a Zoo —

Triage is backed up. A worried Mommy carries in a little cutie whose curly blond locks are now stained blood red from a nasty fall. Then there’s this seven year-old scared kid who limps in with his Mom. And a nice voluptuous Latina who in-between constant calls on her cell, apologizes as her “UNCLE” upchucks all the way to the men’s room. Read the rest of this entry »

don't tell

Last night in the ER was actually funny in an OMG-this-could’a-turned-out-so-much-worse way!

An elegantly dressed 80-ish man (with his grandson) comes in asking to see his wife who was just brought in by the a paramedics.  I ask the last name and go look it up on the computer. She’s listed in Bed 6. So I go there to ask her if it’s okay to bring back her husband. But she’s asleep — with a breathing apparatus — and I can’t see her very well. She’s a little overweight and looks a tad bit masculine to me, but I’ve heard that sometimes happens as women get older (ugh, kill me now!)  Still I’m not sure (but we Piscean chicks are never sure.) Read the rest of this entry »

First person I have to deal with on my ER shift tonight is Anthony Chan, the most uptight Triage Nurse ever – in an especially pissy mood – even for him.

pointing the finger

With his index fingernail painted in DAY GLOW ORANGE  (from a weekend of gay debauchery?) he condescendingly motions to me to come closer and in his most annoying voice —

VOLUNTEER  — see if you can do something to entertain the antsy six-year old in bed 16  — assuming it’s within your skill level!

(Thanks Anthony! Love when you call me “VOLUNTEER!”) I go to Bed 16, check out “Freckles” (can’t say her name cuz of Patient Confidentiality) and immediately bond with her, because I SO know how it feels to want to get out of the E.R. Read the rest of this entry »

People  always ask:

HOW can you stand to work in the ER!?

It’s weird, but now that I’ve done it for awhile, I’m sorta used to it. Some shifts are scarier than others. Or more frustrating —  or sad. But every once in awhile, I’ll finish one that actually feels AWESOME!

listen with your heart

Do I love it? Well sometimes I feel good about it.
Do I hate it? Oh yeah! Big time.
Am I glad I do it? Being forced into it wasn’t the best intro —
but am I proud I do it? Read the rest of this entry »