funny bone

How do I connect the dots?

You know how you feel after your best friend loses ten pounds? FAT!

I’m sitting at my computer, waiting for my agent Josh to email me audition details, while writing a “thank you” to this casting director who met with me, and trying to figure out how to be more creative with my depressing career when I get this email alert from Deadline Hollywood:

‘Adulting’ Comedy From J.J. Abrams’ Bad Robot Lands At Fox As Put Pilot – Deadline.com

J.J. Abrams has been a hero of mine ever since he wrote FELICITY (when he was Jeffrey Abrams) so I CLICK on the link and read about this Oregon-based journalist Kelly Williams Brown who’s written a book: Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 387 Easy(ish) Steps – based on her blog with the same name—so I think — Ugh— here comes the next Lena Dunham, who –or is it “whom”? — I LOVE btw— I’m just JEALOUS — and I check out Brown’s adulting blog. (WARNING: don’t Google “adulting” – it’ll take you to places you do not want to go, trust me!)

I watch a couple of her clips and she’s pretty easy to agree with, but in her toaster video she’s wrong about her toaster sounding like someone in labor – seriously, I’ve spent a lot of time in L & D and women in labor have a 4-letter vocab her toaster hasn’t yet mastered. But getting back to Brown — she’s cute,  gives good advice and she’s fun to listen to.

Brown’s posts are pretty basic —

• Step 218: BE NICE TO NEW PEOPLE
• Step 222: DO NOT SAY YES IF YOU MEAN NO
• Step 243: DO NOT ACT LIKE AN ASSHOLE ANONYMOUSLY

Unfortunately I didn’t see a step that tells what to do after you’ve blown your career chances and get stuck in community service.

But Brown is verrrry SMART! She’s making things happen! And now with the assistance of J.J. Abrams, The Vow co-writers Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein, Warner Bros. TV and Fox — IT’S HAPPENING! Man is it HAPPENING!

I wish she’d write a step telling how I can I make what’s happening to her, happen to ME!

Of course I’m inspired by people like Kelly Williams Brown – and Lena Dunham (who just got a book deal this week for over 3.5 million) – and Zoe Kazan, Rashida Jones and Krysten Ritter and all of the other Female Superstars who are making their dreams come true.

I’ve got my blog, I’ve got 12,000 Facebook Fans, and according to my agent, I’ve got TALENT…

But it’s not happening —

or it’s taking too long to happen —

and it’s FRUSTRATING and DEPRESSING and whenever I read about someone’s success, it makes me feel WORSE (even though I know that doesn’t sound like something a grown-up should say).

Ugh!