Last night I went to a friend’s birthday party at Katsuya — one gigantic rectangle of people I kinda knew with a few I didn’t, including a lovely network exec whose mere presence put me back into pimply high school mode. It had nothing to do with what she did — she was warm and open — and it wasn’t because we were talking about the business —I doubt that she even knows I’m an Actress. We were just two people saying “hi” for the first time, except that one of us was behaving like a mental freak show for no apparent reason. And though I knew I wasn’t doing myself any favors, I couldn’t get out of my own way.

Sabotage Syndrome

Why do we sabotage ourselves like that? People like CONFIDENCE. Insecurity makes people nervous, uncomfortable and everything gets so awkward. This is pretty true across the board – at work, in auditions, in relationships…

Imagine a President who isn’t confident (oops, almost blocked out the Bush administration) – or an Anesthesiologist who looks nervous as he inserts an IV into a vein (yikes!) – or a Contractor who’s nervous as he’s pouring the foundation (I’m not talking about make-up).

Confidence is the foundation of just about everything. It’s like the sole of a shoe – the support — and it doesn’t need to be all flashy red Louboutin – it just needs to be SOLID – like a certain ER doctor who confidently and calmly responds to whatever disaster the EMTs bring in.

So flashing back to last night after an hour or so in, when I was feeling the power of my second Saki, I started feeling more Evie-ish and the exec seemed more like a normal person to me (she already was normal to everyone else – at least they “acted” pretty regular around her. Wait—were they acting? I couldn’t tell).  Anyway,  she and I were bonding over Crispy Rice with Spicy Tuna (our favorites) and she said she wished she could have Katsuya every night, so I  said,

Wait, don’t you know about Katsuya-to-go?

Then I texted her the link and suddenly — she was my new best friend!

Confidence, Shmonfidence, the best way to find it it is to stop looking for it. (Just hope I can remember that at the next dinner party, ahaha.)

(How do you manage to act confident, when you’re not feeling it? Please share any tips. Thanks)

wear it well