Posts Tagged ‘How-To…’

living the dream…

Volunteering in the ER is Icky-Sticky.  A plethora of Private Parts in Private Matters with Doctors asking questions — that trust me, I don’t need to hear. Curtains fly open as bare-assed Patients bend over in a Peep Show — that trust me, I don’t need to see! Bodily Fluids and Functions are F-ing embarrassing — even when they’re coming from someone else’s body.  Especially when they’re coming from someone else’s body.  It’s a lot to deal with…

Things Get Awkward When You —

• Chaperone a pelvic exam and the doctor says, “Spread your legs.”
• Feel nauseous as a Patient throws up in the emesis basin you just handed him.
• Ask a Transvestite if he/she prefers to be entered in the computer as a male or female.
• Hand over an ice bag to a doctor you’re trying to help and the cap comes off spilling ice all over him.
• Ask an Old Geezer if he needs help getting undressed and he says, “Yes.”
• Accidentally offer to dispose of a big bag of hypodermic needles, and then realize there’s no safe place to put them.
• Hit your head on the cabinet in the Patient’s Room and realize you’re bleeding more than the patient is.
• Have to tell a Patient you’re not a Nurse after she’s described her medical condition in embarrassing detail.
• Must pretend like you don’t smell anything, when it’s an obvious “Code Brown” situation.
• Enter an exam room just as you overhear a Man’s Voice say, “You’re about to feel a prick.”

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sweet memories

Still feeling jet-lagged and a little devastated after my tearful adiós (well actually adjö) to my summer fling,  Jorgen. Yep, my gorgeous Swedish Architect was just what I needed to temporarily block out unrealistic thoughts of closed-off Dr. Crush, memories of ER screamy-meamies with yucky bodily fluids, and the drought of summer auditions, ugh.

Jorgen taught me about art at Madrid’s Reina Sofia Museum, 70’s architecture and hippie style in Ibiza, and toured me through the Gaudi Cathedral and Mies van der Rohe Pavilion in Barcelona.

Sipping Spanish wines in between sweet kisses, we dined by candlelight under a gazillion stars in Ibiza, and ran barefoot through the sand under the moonlight (ahhhh…)  And though my stomach had a few issues (I’ll spare you the details) the Spanish food was ultra-fresh in that European way, beautifully assembled and muy delicioso.

First stop, MADRID —

Bar Tomate – Open from 8:30 am till midnight (2 am Thursday, Friday and Saturday) is casual hip and hopping, serving maybe the yummiest tapas I had the entire trip. Maybe my senses were intoxicated because Bar Tomate was where Jorgen and I met (on my first night in Spain.) Then… every night that followed was absolutely dreamy… yes, DREAMY! Read the rest of this entry »

why not?

Why wait till the New Year to start over? The sunny-sun is shining — we can all shed some layers —  and days are longer, so why not make the most of them?!

SUMMER RESOLUTIONS 

Less
Can’t…

More
Can do!

Less
Maybe…

More
Definitely!

Less
Taking everything too seriously —

More
Finding the funny! Read the rest of this entry »

… and they feel good!

Uh-oh, tomorrow is FATHER’S DAY. No worries, there’s still time to whip up a Dad’s Day Mix.

Here ya go…

17 Songs for Cool Dads

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one, two, three, you can do it!

Oh.My.God!

Tonight was epic! Life-altering! Out-of-body!

I witnessed a BIRTH! Not in the movies. Not in my imagination. It was almost in the Hallway! Uh-huh, things were happening that fast!

Rewind —

Earlier on my ER Shift it’s busy-busy — but there are four Volunteers (including Mira and me) so no one seems to mind when I wheel a moaning OB Patient up to Labor and Delivery and never come back.

When Duty calls…

“Red” the OB patient (with ridiculously curly red hair) wobbles in from her Uber, nervous, excited and very much ALONE! In one swift move I grab a wheelchair, plop her into it and ring L & D to let them know we’re on our way up —

In the elevator Red starts blowing in through her nose, out through her mouth –”oooooou, aahhhhh” when the elevator operator asks “When are you due?”

Red’s face scrunches, reddens, she looks like she’s about to burst and WAILS  —

Now—-owwww! Ow-ow-owwwww!

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go!

It’s another Monday-Monday, so let’s start off this week half-glass full! K?

1. Get-up, gulp, and go for it!
2. Appreciate each step forward!
3. Do a lot better!
4. Push yourself more, more, more!
5. Focus on the good, the goofy and the giggles!
6. Laugh before you leap!
7. Deep breath — now jump off the old, land in the new!
8. Think creatively!
9. Be your own wand — make your own magic!
10. Find the funny, even when it hurts!
11. Embrace your stick-to-itiveness!
12. Believe it will happen!

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Wait, is this my arc?

LIFE is the ultimate CONUNDRUM, right? I mean, what does it all mean?

What’s the effing point?!

Uhhh, the scarier question really is, what if there isn’t any… POINT? What’s my purpose? Why am I here? How the hell do I know if I’m on the right path?

Does “Entertaining” Count for CONTRIBUTING?

Acting feels fleeting, frustrating, and self-serving. Even when I book a job, when it’s over I’m back to auditioning again! And again, and again — Am I risking my sanity and wasting my time?  Am I just a hammy hamster going round and round and round and… Ug– ach– blug– BLEEAAUUUUCH! (sorry, I had to get that out.)

dizzy blond

Ever notice how in INSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO Actors come from messed-up lives? Does everyone have an imperfect life? Does portraying the human condition let everyone know — it’s cool to be flawed?  Are we all losers in an imperfect world? Should I run for President of Loserville? Read the rest of this entry »