Archive for the ‘feeling the pain’ Category

You know how sometimes we experience foreboding in a movie? We sense something’s about to happen. Our pulse races. We grab the arm of the person next to us whether we know him or not.

But it’s a misdirect. Foreshadowing. The bad thing doesn’t happen. PHEW!

Relieved, we sit back and enjoy the movie until later when we’re totally caught off guard, WHAM! Something really-really-really awful happens.

Writing on the Wall

That foreshadowing actually happened to me. And I wasn’t in a movie (if only…)

Two months ago I was at one of Niles’ catered parties when the Chef choked on a piece of steak.  Other Guests and I gasped as a Server Heimliched him.  It wasn’t working. Time was Ticking. Stunned, we were afraid to interfere with the Server who seemed to know what to do. We were paralyzed over what felt like an eternity.

I yelled, “SOMEONE CALL 911!”

The Chef bent over the kitchen sink and tried Heimlich himself. No luck. He dropped to the floor, doubled over, and gagged as he tried to dislodge the obstruction in his airway. At last he coughed up the meat while the Caller reported to 911 on the phone.

We all realized the magnitude of what had almost happened on our watch. The Chef was shaken, but able to leave. It was a good ending… on that night.

Deja Vu

Fast forward to last Saturday night when I was on my Volunteer shift. Paramedics rushed in a 60-year old fit, otherwise healthy Man who’d choked on piece of steak. He’d been at the steak restaurant with his wife… the steak restaurant they’d go to every Saturday night. The Man had tried to get the piece of steak up himself and even left the table to go to the restroom so he wouldn’t make a scene. He returned and collapsed on the table. No one even knew to call 911, until too much time had passed..

When someone did, Paramedics arrived at the scene 8 minutes later, but the Man had been without oxygen to his brain for 15 minutes. Now at the hospital as they tried to revive the Man, the Wife still held out hope… until Dr. Adams broke the devastating news to her.

I watched through the curtain as Dr. Adams with tears in his eyes, tried to console her.  Together they waited until the two 20-something kids arrived to say “good-bye” to their Dad before pulling the plug. This family had planned to celebrate Father’s Day the next day. The Son had planned a hike with his Dad. The Daughter had been looking forward to her Dad walking her down the aisle at her wedding in October…

Ever since, I’ve been telling everyone about this story (leaving out names and personal details of course for Patient Confidentiality). Who knew that the odds of one dying from choking on food is around 1 in 2,659. That’s scary!

It’s probably a good time for each of us to learn or re-learn the Heimlich Maneuver.

What else can we do? Well, we can remember to cut up and chew our food carefully. And when we see someone choking, we must act without waiting. Heimlich and  call 911, STAT!  The time we save may be the difference between life and death.

Be careful out there… xo/Evie

I know, I know – it seems like I’ve been MIA, but honestly this is the first moment I’ve had to myself. See, my dear Niles, hairdresser to the stars and my rock ever since my Mom died, had a scary fall and I’ve been “Nurse Evie” ever since.

Coming to the rescue for family…

Thankfully Niles lives in my building, and after a party of too much flying from who knows what, he slipped and landed splat on his marble bathroom floor, Speedy Evie and two cute paramedics flew to his rescue. As we sped away from the condo in the ambulance, they gave him Fentanyl (yikes!) and told me he’d broken his hip. I asked how they knew and apparently one leg looked longer than the other, plus some bone was sticking out the wrong way. Poor Niles!

I was so relieved they were willing to drive to my hospital, because volunteering in the ER does have its perks. Everyone in the department hopped-to when they saw me. They understood Niles is “family” me.

Dr. A was thankfully on duty when we arrived around midnight and I’m sure he expedited things because in less than an hour and a half, Niles was admitted upstairs and more comfortable in the hospital bed. Dr. A also called a badass ortho surgeon he knew (Dr. Snow) who came to Niles’ room first thing the next morning. Dr. Snow patiently answered our questions about the hip fracture, surgery and recovery and slotted him into her schedule for later that night.

Waiting while Niles was suffering was so stressful. I can empathize with family members who must play the waiting game. You have to wait for tests, for doctor input, for surgery, to be discharged.  It’s really hard. Star Volunteer Mira, was so supportive. She knew just what to say through all of the hours of not-knowing and brought me Kreation organic smoothies to keep me going.

The surgery went well though and as long as Niles didn’t move much he was okay as long as he got Oxy every four hours. I was a little freaked out  about Oxy… I mean, I saw DOPESICK…) Niles was feeling good about it though. He even joked about what he called his Elephantiasis due to swelling. Meanwhile they kept pumping IV fluids into him, making him even more bloated.

Getting out of the hospital is harder than getting in…

He was ready to be done with it all but whenever the Physical Therapist would stop by to access him daily, he’d get light-headed and his blood pressure would drop so they’d have to stop.

After a few days, I ran down to the ER and asked Nurse Chan, if he had any suggestions because at this rate it looked like Niles would never get out.

“Stop with the Oxy because it makes blood pressure go Ziiiiip! Try Tylenol for PT”

Luckily that and a quick blood transfusion (because Niles was anemic) did the trick. I was able to take Niles home as long as he wouldn’t be alone.  A cute PT guy came 5 days a week and I practiced with Niles in between.

Niles has been a superstar. He aced the walker, graduated to a cane and is now pretty much cane-free except when it comes to big stairways.

The whole experience makes me a appreciate Niles even more. I’m so glad I could help him in his time of need. Niles has always been there for me. I’m grateful that this time I could be there for him.

Focusing on the good in a beyond-tumultuous year, my heart is soooo touched by unexpected kindness displayed during the Buffalo Blizzard. When humans step up in ways that save lives, the gift is priceless. Surely there are more stories out there about unlikely heroes, but here are three stories highlighted in the news —

HEROES OF KINDNESS —

On Christmas Eve Alexander and Andrea Campagna became “accidental innkeepers” to nine South Korean tourists whose van was stuck in a ditch in the early days of the blizzard. In true Christmas spirit, The Campagnas sheltered worried tourists, resulting in an unexpected slumber party, a unique bond and a yummy Korean Christmas dinner that none of them will ever forget.

photo by Sweet Buffalo Facebook

Sha’Kyra Aughtry was home during the blizzard when she heard screams early Christmas Eve. Out the window she could see a man calling for help. After Aughtry’s boyfriend carried the freezing, developmentally disabled man, Joe White (64) inside their home. Although Aughtry was unable to get Emergency help, the fast-thinker used a blow dryer to melt ice off Joe White’s red blistered hands. She used  a grass cutter to remove White’s rings while Aughtry live-streamed her calls for help and emotional concerns for his fading condition. Refusing to let him die, she cared for him — encouraging him to keep the faith —  when thankfully one of her Facebook followers got through with a car. They took Joe White to the hospital and saved his life. Aughtry’s compassion and feisty personality led to a Merry Christmas for Joe White and his very-worried family.

photo by CBS News.com

QUICK OUT-OF-THE-BOX THINKING…

Jay Withey Jr, a 27-year-old Kenmore mechanic saved 10-24  lives after breaking into Pine Hill Primary Center school because his  truck  got stuck and he was trying to stay alive.  Before that he’d knocked on the door of 15 homes where the residents were too scared to let a stranger in. So Withey broke into the school, discovered shelter, and became Super Snowman searching for and saving others stuck in ditches. Before he left, he wrote a note to the school:

“To Whomever It May Concern: I’m terribly sorry about breaking the school window and for breaking in the kitchen. Got stuck at 8 p.m. Friday and slept in my truck with two strangers. Just trying not to die. There were 7 elderly people also stuck and out of fuel. I had to do it to save everyone and get them shelter and food and a bathroom. Merry Christmas. Jay.

Hope these stories warm your heart as much as they did mine and that we’ll all come to the rescue of strangers-in-need when the occasion arises. (I’m really into heroes, wherever and whenever they pop up.)  xx/Evie

KINDNESS is our secret weapon

Last week I heard very sad news. I’m still in shock. It doesn’t feel real. A friend, a fellow actor I know, I mean knew, ended his life.

It hurts too much to discuss details. And I want to protect his wife and child’s privacy… they’re devastated…

What I, what we, need to figure out is how to help all of the hurting humans in our country who are “on the verge” or already “acting-out” after nearly 15 months in isolation.

Covid did a number on all of us —

It’s no surprise that after all we’ve been through, we’re freaking-out and blaming one another other in crowds, on planes, at games and at home. So many of us are still stuck without a job, without security, without a way out. It’s a mental health nightmare that isn’t getting enough attention. Depression is rampant.

We’ve got to start connecting with each other, hearing each other, putting ourselves in each other’s shoes.

This was then…

I don’t know how humans handled the pandemic the last time. In 1918 they didn’t have TVs or cellphones, or computers. They couldn’t distract themselves with Zoom.

It sounds even worse than what we’ve experienced, but that’s hard to imagine…

…this is now.

If you or someone you know seems depressed or suicidal, or just has a few worrisome warning signs, do whatever you can to offer help.

We tried in the case of my friend. We got him into a facility, but his good acting may have fooled the professionals into thinking he was doing better than he was.

Suicide is one of those decisions you can’t take back, unfortunately. Questions go unanswered… the people you love most hurt the most, creating an open wound that lasts forever after…

Watch for Warning Signs —

Crisis Help —

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Teen Line Online

Thanks for reading. Take care of yourselves out there <3

xo/evie

It seems craaaaazy to me that humans who see dying rates all over the U.S. are arguing about wearing masks. Come on people! It’s a small inconvenience with a possible big payoff. Huge.

I talked to Dr. A the other day and he’s very worried that our ER capacity is going in the wrong direction. I’m very worried about him. He says it feels a little creepy being at the hospital in the time of Corona. At the end of each work day he takes all his clothes off before he goes into his house and heads directly into the shower.

Spikes — Yikes!!!

Yeah, our hospital and all the others in L.A. are now spiking. California is cluttered with Covid.  It’s hardly a surprise after Memorial Day crowds gathered at beaches, boardwalks and bars. Add to that the gazillion Protests where everyone yelled in each other’s faces.

A couple of days ago I got an email that Volunteers were being called back to my ER, but then today I got another one that said they’ve decided to hold off. To be honest, I’m a little relieved they’re holding off…

High Quality Masks from Etsy

Getting back to masks… if we need to wear them, they might as well be good ones, right?

I like the ones made in Japan. They’re breathable, fit well and they stay on. They also come in different sizes. And some have extra layers.

Here are two excellent sellers:

MaryRoseArtCrafts masks are high quality and fit really well. You can order them in men’s women’s or kid’s sizes. With one two or three layers.

BotanicFolkShop linen masks are so lightweight you forget that you’re wearing them (which is a good thing.) They’re very simple and flattering, plus they come with a separate layer you can add.

If not for you, wear a mask for someone else…

Oh… and when you wear your mask, please wear it the right way — thanks!

Trying to stay up, but feeling down in the time of Coronavirus. As Californians attempt to follow the rules by staying in and binging on TV, Americans in other states have things ass-backwards. They’re distancing themselves from the guidelines and binging on boardwalks and beaches which of course will not bode well 2-3 weeks from now — for any of us. Ugh.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but the writing’s on the wall. Just as my hospital is getting things under control, those who can’t control themselves are gonna mess everything up. They’re gonna make it a longer recovery for the rest of us. Sooooo frustrating.

Binge Shows NOT Beaches!

Meanwhile, back at the screen — here are my recommendations for binging shows. My favorites tend to be about female protagonists who keep getting in their own way and who fall in like/love/lust with someone off-limits. Big shock, right? I know, I know…

NORMAL PEOPLE — Warning: it’s addictive. Everyone who watches Normal People becomes obsessed. OBSESSED!!! Heavy emotions, heavy breathing, lots of sex and melancholy. You’ll fall in love with Marianne (Daisy Edgar-Jones) and Connell (Paul Mescal) and want to knock some sense into both of them. Set in Ireland in 2010, it’s gorgeous. 12 half-hour episodes on Hulu.

FLEABAG — I know, it’s not new, but shockingly some people haven’t seen it yet. Second season is by far the best. BY FAR. Phoebe Waller-Bridge deserved every award she received. It’s brilliant. She’s brilliant. She’s the bad girl who is sooooo good. The attraction/seduction between Fleabag and the Priest (Adam Scott) is catastrophic, crushing and electric. 12 half-half hour episodes on Amazon Prime.

NEVER HAVE I EVER –Mindy Kaling’s creation about a first generation Indian family in the Valley is loosely based on her own experiences. It’s a unique, smart, coming-of-age comedy about Devi’s (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan) complicated life. Devi, an overachieving high school sophomore, has a short fuse (like John Mc Enroe, the narrator) that gets her into trouble with her Mom (Poorna Jagannathan), her friends, her crush, her nemesis… basically everyone. You’ll love her “perfect” cousin, Kamala (Richa Moorjani) and her therapist, (Niecy Nash.) Snappy dialogue, clever catastrophes, and lots of heart. 8 half-hour episodes on Netflix.

Otis and Maeve – mixed messages

SEX EDUCATION, a bawdy, bold and big-hearted British comedy series on NETFLIX, is about a 16-year old boy (Otis) with a Sex Therapist Mom (Jean) who gets talked into going into business with a badass cool girl (Maeve.) Maeve spreads the word that Otis is a sex therapist for high-schoolers. BUT Otis is totally inexperienced and in fact can’t deal with his own sexuality… yet he’s surprisingly intuitive when it comes to dealing with the problems of other teens.

awkward and awesome!

Otis and his Mom – love/hate

It’s a little bit of a parallel universe for me, since I’m someone who hates hospitals (especially the one my Mom frequented when she was dying)… yet now I’ve ironically extended my community service sentence voluntarily because (spoiler alert) I’m actually pretty good at helping others deal with being at the hospital. Go figure.

SEX EDUCATION’s outstanding cast is led by Asa Butterfield, as the nerdy inexperienced sex-pert. Gillian Anderson plays his frank, ff-ingly free and boundary-less mother.  Emma Mackey is brilliantly tender and tough in a break-out role that I would’ve loved to have gone out for before I aged-out of hottie-in-high-school parts. So sad…

I laughed and cringed as I binge-watched all eight episodes. It definitely left me wanting more… much more.

scene from a sex manual