if you mean it, say it!

Feeling Appreciated –

• motivates us
• moves us
• connects us

When we FEEL APPRECIATED, we want to go the EXTRA STEP; feel that good feeling again. It’s such a HUGE element in just about every relationship and it can make the difference between THINGS WORKING OR NOT.  When we stop feeling appreciated, we feel like giving up—or finding something or someone  else .  Feeling “Taken For Granted” is the BEGINNING OF THE END.

I mean, listen to your friends complaints about almost any relationship… (does this sound familiar?) –

• He doesn’t get me
• She doesn’t appreciate all that I do
• My boss doesn’t know how hard I work
• I never hear what’s right, only what’s wrong.

Relationships (connect or disconnect)

I’m beginning t think that the biggest reason people break up is because we stop feeling like our other half “gets us”. Tyrell, the ER Radiologist can look at an X-ray and see exactly what’s wrong, but when he looks at his wife, he doesn’t get that she’s exhausted and unappreciated. He just sees her as a nag, — when all she wants him to do is appreciate that she’s killing herself to raise two little boys, hold down a part-time job,  take care of their house, stay in shape and be a GOOD WIFE. I keep telling him, she needs to feel like she did when they met – when he couldn’t get enough of her,; say enough cute things to her or smile whenever she walked into the room. Smiling is one of the simplest signals of appreciation, ‘cuz it shows that you’re happy and that maybe someone else in your world has had something to do with that.

Work (motivate or discourage)

The point of Volunteering in the ER is not necessarily so that someone will appreciate me, but I must say, it goes a long way in keeping me there and motivated. When a stressed-out Nurse gives me a hard time, I can’t help but wonder, “what’s the point?” Yesterday I had the opportunity to go up and help a patient I took upstairs to Labor and Delivery and I couldn’t believe the difference in the way the Nurses treated me as a Volunteer. They kept saying how nice it was that I was there and that I was really a big help in calming the anxious Mommy-to-be and I must say I wished that I could volunteer in Labor and Delivery instead of the ER (my patient has a girl, btw.)

Auditioning (nurture or destroy)

Weirdly enough, when I’m in Auditions, the best motivator for me is when the CD’s and producers LAUGH (I mean if it’s comedy, obvi) — but that’s how I know I’m being appreciated and doing my job. I don’t even have to be cast for the role, if I know I did well in the room.  Naturally applause and a call-back are the ultimate motivators (oh, and a paycheck) — but just feeling like someone’s glad I’m there helps… it really does.

Doing well in the room – whether it’s acting, working, loving –

is what makes us want to do more. So if you want to motivate someone, show a little sincere appreciation. Focus on what they’re doing right not wrong. It’ll go a very long way, trust me!

P.S. – I really appreciate you for reading this! Thanks!

Liked that? Check out:

• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• Programming My LIfe
• GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire

Now what?

Recently I was rushing to my ER shift (late as usual) and got into the WRONG hospital elevator. Wrong because for my first time ever, it wouldn’t open. Like many, I’d played out this scenario countless times before, wondering how I’d deal with it.

Would I:

• Be Claustrophobic?
• Be Panicky?
• Calm others?

Actually my first thought was:

At least I’ll have a good excuse for being late.

Since there was no one else in there with me, calming others wasn’t necessary. I felt strangely calm myself – maybe because FEELING STUCK is a familiar state for me right now.

I pushed the Emergency Button, got a Hospital operator of some kind who told me help was on the way.  But then help didn’t come quite that fast and instead of hearing a human’s voice, I heard what sounded like a phone disconnect. EEE-ah EE-ah!

DISCONNECTED is kinda like –

Living in Limbo

It happens to all of us, right?

We get stuck

• In our careers
• In our search for true love
• In discovering who we are

Spinning our wheels, but not going anywhere

WHAT IF we’re not supposed to worry about how to get UN-STUCK? Maybe BEING STUCK is a necessary part of life because it forces us to slow down, re-evaluate where we are and where we want to be — plus figure out how we’re gonna get there. Maybe it’s like  YIN/YANG or HAPPY/SAD  where you have to understand one to fully “get” the other. BEING STUCK is the polar opposite to MOVING FORWARD. So maybe it’s a necessary evil that we’re all supposed to experience.

stay calm

Getting back to the elevator:  after reflecting about being stuck for awhile, I saw an eensy crack between the elevator doors. So I used my own arms (and brain) to open up the doors and walk through.

It was kinda anti-climatic, but worked out for me, because I had my excuse for being late AND I felt empowered because I figured out how to move forward.

Obviously  I took the stairs the rest of the way — but first I called the Hospital Control Person to tell her what happened — and to  keep it from happening to someone else.

Now all I need to do is figure out how to get unstuck in my career, but that’s another post. Ahaha!

(what do you do when you’re stuck? please comment!)

Liked that? Check out:

• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer
• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Living By The Code

Inhaling a bunch of BS

Hospital Employees say the craziest things when they think no one’s listening –  in the Halls, in the Elevators, on the Stairs, in the Restrooms, in the Parking Lot — need I go on?

The thing is –

In the Hospital EVERYONE’s Listening!

Can’t use names of course (Hospital Policy) — but there’s no law against using initials. So here’s the first post (of MANY, I’m sure) called: “Doctors Say The Dummest Things.”

Smug Surgeon, Dr. D – (D stands for more than just his name)

Today I drive into the ER Parking Lot, and recognize Dr. D, a good-looking (although he has put on some weight), arrogant A-hole who I (unfortunately) dated before he became God.

Dr. D’s leaning against the wall, entertaining himself by blowing smoke rings (in a Smoke-Free Hospital btw) when he goes: “Well if it isn’t!” (I wish it wasn’t!)  After a couple of “Hi-how’ve-you-been”s (not really caring about the answer) I casually mention my surprise that he’s SMOKING, since he’s now a SURGEON.

He smiles condescendingly –

Oh, it doesn’t matter because now we can cure Cancer!

(Oh really? Tell my Mom)

I couldn’t get out of that Parking Lot fast enough. Talk about blowing smoke…

Liked that? Check out:

• Drama in the ER: Unsolved Mystery
• APPRECIATION Goes A Long Way
• Being Stuck

big presence - huge heart

Every year, on the Friday night before The GRAMMYS, MusicCares — the charitable wing of the Recording Academy — honors “one of its own.”

Paul McCartney was 2012 MusicCares  Person of The Year –

And I was lucky enough to volunteer at Friday night’s SURREAL gala. The concert was BEYOND phenomenal !  The iconic 24-time GRAMMY winner, knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 96, still has INDESCRIBABLE TRANSCENDENT ENERGY– even at 69!

The evening was OTHER-WORLDLY —  MAGICAL!

Amazing stars from the Audience sang his songs — Katie Perry, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, James Taylor, Diana Krall, Tony Bennett, Neil Young, Alicia Keys, Allison Kraus – and what I loved most about it was that they were all in awe of him—genuinely, respectfully, enthusiastically– putting their own egos aside. And at every table there were major celebs from Jason Miraz to Yoko Ono to Tom Hanks — giving standing ovations and ROCKING OUT!

As Elvis Costello put it, McCartney is –

“….beloved, admired, respected and admired some more. It’s all been about love. And aren’t we terribly fortunate that he only uses his dastardly power for good?

MusicCares provides a safety net of critical assistance for music people in times of need, from financial to medical to personal emergencies.  It’s an awesome organization. Check it out!

I will never ever forget that night or McCartney’s clear message, as he thrillingly performed “The End” –

 In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

It was A.MAZ.ING!! I felt soooo fortunate to be there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9eux1TZ0lE

Liked that? Check out:

• Back to the Grind: VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER
• Courage: The Heroes who have it
• ER: CODE RED – Diet Karma

conundrums

On my ER shift, a Little Kid’s freaking out about having to get stitches, so I ask him if he can keep a secret? Uh-huh.

Wanna know our  SECRET CODE WORD ?

Yeah!…
…so I whisper: “Owww!”

Minutes later when  Dr. A dabs numbing cream on his wound, the kid yells, “Owww!” So I SHUSH! him about giving away the CODE WORD and he actually giggles – PLUS I get a “trying-not-to-smile-but-I-can’t-help-it” from Dr. A! So it’s a win/WIN of epic proportions! (My Mom would be so proud!)

Then in Triage, ANTHONY shouts at me for taking too many visitors back to see their Mom (c’mon Chan!) which is sooo frustrating! As I’ve said before — working in the ER is a LOVE|HATE situation!

ER Ambivalence –
THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE WHATEVER!

LOVE

De-Stressing the stressed (Helps de-stress me too.)

FINDING THE FUNNY + earning a SMILE (Comic timing must be right, otherwise it’s all wrong!)

Appreciation (The “air” volunteers breathe!)

Patient Patients (So rare, I really appreciate them.)

Happy Endings  (NOT the kind you’re thinking of.)

HATE

Walkie Talkies (Talk about “impersonal!”)

Go To Registration FIRST (It says: “Our money is more important than your chest pains!)

Too many cooks (So many experts – So many opinions!)

Too many rules (And they change every week, truth!)

The odors (Code Brown, need I say more?)

Suffering (Can’t think about it…)

Death (No words…)

TOLERATE

Bossy Pants (Sometimes they’re right, sometimes they’re just being a Buttinsky!)

Frequent Flyers (Gotta give it to ‘em, addicts can be pretty creative.)

Pushy Family Members (They’re just scared and feel helpless.)

Impatient Patients (We all feel that way, right?)

(What do you love|hate|tolerate in the ER?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Being Stuck
• Identity Crisis in the ER

I’ve been feeling GUILTY about something for the last 48 hours…I need to be straight with you –

In my last post about “GOSSIPS and MEANIES” I pretended like I was talking about someone else (you prob’ly saw right through me anyway.) I was really embarrassed about being a complete weenie since…

I’m “Hottie” (no, I don’t think I’m hot, but some deranged people do.) I’m the one who allowed myself to be manipulated by Pushy. Humiliating as it is to admit, I gave my POWER over to someone else. No one should do that.  NO ONE.

Pushy couldn’t’ve pushed me if I hadn’t allowed it. Pushy wouldn’t’ve had any power, if I hadn’t given her mine. I allowed her to insinuate herself into MY life. MINE.  Thankfully I’m away from her now, and growing a spine.

I need to OWN my part in the DRAMA,  learn from it and move on. Maybe you’ll learn from my mistakes.

THE POWER IS YOURS –

Whether you’re male | female | gay |straight… If you’re in healthcare | tech support | a teacher| a bartender| in fashion | in finance| in the entertainment business| in the service business | self-employed | unemployed …

If you’re ANYONE, ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING –

Never ever ever give your POWER away to anyone else. It belongs to YOU!

I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you in the first place.

xo/evie

Liked that? Check out:

• GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire
• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?

What’s the meaning of MEANIES in our lives? We’ve all got ‘em. What do we do with them?

Mine is Briana the Bitch (the frenemy from hell) a resident in my ER who tells anyone who’ll listen not to trust me because I’m a “Man Eater!” Briana is stuck in the past. She may have a high IQ, but socially she’s still stuck in high school. Move on, girl, it’s 2011. Life doesn’t have to be AWKWARD! for the rest of our lives. Does it?

Today I hear about an even worse MEANIE from “Hottie,” an out-of-work TV Actress whose name I can’t divulge.  Hottie’s long-term Acting Coach, “Pushy” just turned into the DEVIL (the meanest of MEANIES!)

After the boundary-less Pushy’d wormed her way into Hottie’s professional and personal life, acting like her Coach/Mom/BFF/Therapist, she pushed Hottie too far when she told her to break up with her boyfriend.

“ENUFF! Hottie said, ” I’m going to break up with YOU instead!”

So Pushy, like a scorned lover, goes ballistic with 24/7 over-the-top, calls, texts and emails. Hottie blocks her. And Pushy takes it up several notches. She spreads RUMORS throughout the Industry that Hottie’s no longer acting because she had a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN! (F@#k!)

I ask Hottie if she’s gonna sue Pushy or at the very least have some hotshot Entertainment Attorney write a cease-and-desist, but Hottie doesn’t want to fan Pushy’s fire.  Hottie’s Manager says she’ll  “manage the situation.” So Hottie’s gonna take the HIGH ROAD. She’s focusing on being an Awesome Actress and getting LOTS OF WORK so she can prove Pushy wrong!

THE GOSSIP MEANIES IN OUR LIVES

Are they Insensitive or insane?

On medication or should they be?

Narcissistic or Nuts?

IS IT BETTER TO ENGAGE OR IGNORE?

Is their GOSSIP destructive or do others see it as “DRAMA?”

Gossip Meanies mess with our heads, our reputations and our ability to focus on what’s important.  Avoiding the DRAMA might be the best way to deal with these HEARSAY HUSSIES!

People seem turned-off by DRAMA these day, anyway.  TV Dramas are getting cancelled all over the place and COMEDIES are where it’s at.

So let’s all try to FIND THE FUNNY when it comes to the Meanies in our lives. If we can laugh at these LOSERS  the PATHETIC PUSHIES  of the world will lose their POWER!

(What Meanies mess with your life? What do you plan do about it?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• APPRECIATION Goes A Long Way
• Programming My LIfe

dr. crush

You think you know what you want. But what if you got it, would you even want it? Would you even know what to do with it? What if you blow it? What if you make the most of it? What if you’re not sure, but you’re willing to take some risks?

Are you EVOLVING or ESCAPING?

Is it the right time or the wrong time? Are you just biding time, because you’ve got time on your hands? Maybe it’s because he’s hands-off, unavailable like so many guys. So it’s the chase, not the win you can’t shake.

Think about your real life — the one you almost had — the one you’ve been working for. You know, the one that’s on hold right now.  Maybe he’ll hold you back from your hopes and dreams. What about living the dream? Maybe he’s just a dream.  What if it’s a nightmare ending? Maybe he’s not all he seems. Maybe he’s so much MORE!  Winners are better than wannabes, right? But are you a loser if you wannabe with a winner? Will you feel less if he’s more?

INDECISION OR INTROSPECTION?

Can you even find a soul mate, when you’re not sure who you are?  Can the qualities in him make up for those MIA in yourself? Is it complementing or copping out?

Clearly he’s someone you can count on? Now you won’t have to count on yourself. Or maybe he’ll count on you too. And together you’ll go to infinity.

If you change, will you recognize your reflection? Would that be good or would that be bad? Are you supposed to know all the answers in your twenties? Would you want to, if you could?

He’s not your typical type. But what if it’s time for a change? Changes are good if they’re good. Or do you just need a quick fix? Do you feel broken inside? Is it the white coat effect? Is your pulse racing because he’s an MD?

Are you HEALING or HALLUCINATING? Does this call for champagne or medication?

With every answer, you get questions.

Is this LOVE or are you going INSANE? Call the paramedics! Get to your ER —  STAT!

(if anyone else has the answers, pul-eeze leave a comment!)

Liked that? Check out:

• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer
• Back to the Grind: VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?

SOOOOO many shows! Not enough time to watch them all. But here are two getting a lot of BUZZZZZ…

funny femmes

TWO BROKE GIRLS

With the exception of THE GOOD WIFE, CBS isn’t a network I usually watch a lot. But this season I’m tuning in more now that Ashton has gotten me hooked on TWO AND A HALF MEN, followed by a new fave-in-the-making: TWO BROKE GIRLS. 

Watching Kate Dennings (Max) and Beth Behrs (Caroline) bounce lines off of each other is like watching a great game of tennis, with both athletes playing at the top of their game.  Max’s tough cookie with a heart of mush takes pity on Caroline the homeless heiress with a passion for positivity (my mom would love her!)

The writing from Michael Patrick King and Whitney Cummings is smart, fresh and racy without making you go Euuww!! (“If she were a les, she’s be the last les-I’d–be-in”) It’s very modern and real. And with the exception of the horse jokes (which might get crappy – 2^nd show spoiler alert!) this show has REAL STAYING POWER! Yes!

I give it  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

too much quirk?

NEW GIRL

I really couldn’t wait to watch NEW GIRL, because I love  Zooey Deschanel sooo much (500 DAYS OF SUMMER is in my top 10!) And I’m usually pretty crazy about Liz (she’s apparently calling herself Elizabeth now) Meriwether’s writing.

I read for Liz Meriwether’s NO STRINGS ATTACHED (when it was called FUCK BUDDIES) and I loved the pilot SLUTS,  both of which were more BRIDESMADE-ish and female Appatow-ish in humor than NEW GIRL (the pilot at least).

My guess is that the network and studio execs had a lot to do with the final cut of the NEW GIRL, because it seemed much tamer and set-up-set-up-joke-y than Meriwether’s previous scripts.

Deschanel as “Jess” is lovable as expected. The GUY characters however seem over-the-topish-big and dumbed-down to me, but maybe my expectations were too high (that tends to happen when it comes to guys in general.)

Still,  Zooey Deschanel rarely gets it wrong, so I’m gonna stick with this show to see where she takes it.

I give it  ♥ ♥ ♥

TWO BROKE GIRLS and NEW GIRL were in the top six rated shows for 18-49 during premiere week. So audiences are FINDING THE FUNNY in female-driven comedies and that’s VERY GOOD NEWS (especially for female comedy actors— like me for instance). Uh huh, uh huh!

Which shows make you laugh? Which make you barf? Please share in the comments, thanks : )

Liked that? Check out:

• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• 2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY
• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves

Emmy - What if?

Here’s the deal. I (like probably every Actor on earth) have an AWARD SPEECH playing and rewinding in my brain, ready for the BIG MOMENT.  Revisions occur regularly after the OSCARS, EMMYS and SAG AWARDS  each year and of course any time I’m about to get a BIG BREAK that’ll TOTALLY CHANGE MY CAREER! (Sound familiar fellow-Actors?)

Naturally I pay close attention to what works (luv’d Ty Burrell‘s “Tight Genes”speech) , what falls flat and what touches people (hi-five to Guy Pearce for inserting the raciest touch!) If the acceptance speech elicits laughs and tears it’s probably a good one, right?

Here’s my current list to thank, but I’m still working on it. Luckily or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it, MOM!) I’ve got time to tweak it, revise it and hone it. And FYI I think it’s a total waste of the clicking clock to keep repeating the words, “And I want to” thank…  So I’m planning on keeping it in the present tense, to reduce my word count and show more appreciation.  Also, if we’re talking about peeves, I’m getting a little bored with “I didn’t think I’d win, so I didn’t plan a speech” — Come on! Everyone imagines “what if?” otherwise YTF are we waxing,  juice cleansing, botoxing, highlighting, training, boxing, running, spinning and ohmming?

Who I’d thank in my Emmy Award Speech

T H A N K    Y O U:

• SUPER DAD for cheering me on every step and for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself –
• JOSH – for sticking with me when everyone else thought I’d blown it –
• WILL Wannabe — if you hadn’t left me when I was down, I wouldn’t've learned how to reach higher –
• CHARLAYNE for forcing me to get my real act together –
• MIRA for selfless lessons, you rock! –
• NILES – OMG – for being my girlfriend, hairstylist and therapist–
• OLIVIA – for knowing there was so much more and teaching me how to access it — and…
• DR. A — Well you know, why you’re on this list –Oops!  Okay, I’ll keep it private (wink) –

Noooo! STOP the music!  I’m not done yet — Really! PLEASE STOP!

Thank you… Mom… for all of your signs to FIND THE FUNNY through the madness and missteps and for giving me COURAGE (gulp!) to deliver the MAGIC –

Mom, this one’s for YOU!

(If you got an award who would you thank? Please let me know in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Has Texting Replaced Talking?
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Programming My LIfe