Identity Crisis

Yesterday  when I was walking back to my car from the two hour spin/pilates portion of my day, a Hollywood tour bus passed me and the guide said into the microphone: “And here on our right is Paris Hilton.”

I turned to my left and smiled (I might’ve even laughed!) –

And witnessed a bus full of tourists spin from–

Oh my God is it her?!

– to laughing because it was a pretty good joke.

I have to say the most ridiculous part is that deep down I was actually pleased that people could’ve mistaken me for her from afar.

I mean, clearly I’m in my –

post-stomach-flu-skinny phase –

(Didn’t write about it, ‘cuz I didn’t want to gross you out.)

For once a Paris comparison doesn’t bother me at all! ‘Specially if it’s from behind when I’m in my gym leggings.

Totally made my day. But forget that I ever told this story. I’m not proud.

Hey — know what would really really really–

MAKE MY DAY?

When Paris is walking and the Hollywood tour bus goes by and the guide says into the microphone –

And here to our right is EVIE STEWART!

Ahahaha!

(Who have you been mistaken for? Tell in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Film Faves: Currently Speaking
• Hollywood Flip: Staying Focused
• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves

Why do we feel safe with KNOWNS when there’s often greater possibility with UNKNOWNS?

“Conundrumly-speaking,” why is it human nature to–

distrust CHANGE?

Working in the ER is a little like working in Washington -

• There are too many chiefs.
• So many things go wrong.
• Customer satisfaction isn’t the best.

I was all prepared to totally rag on Saturday morning’s Annual Volunteer Meeting. I started taking blog-notes ready to catch any embarrassment that might occur.

These meetings are dreaded by most Volunteers because the changes that are announced usually make things harder on us to do our jobs. Instead of being Volunteers who help people, we become mini Policemen (like we can’t take visitors to certain areas, even if the patients are really scared and want someone they know with them.  Whaaa…  that’s not fair!)

Charlayne starts it out with her typical overboard positive passionate pep talk (her favorite book is the “Magic of Believing”) and ends with:

The doctors and nurses tell me how grateful they are that you’re here, even though they don’t interact with y’all as much as you’d like.

(There’s one in particular I’d like to um, interact with more. Oh yeah!)

So that’s Charlayne’s set-up to the CHANGES — the real point of the meeting.

But surprisingly (Monday morning is always filled with inspiration) the new changes sound like they’re gonna actually benefit the patients and their families.

Now we can –

• Offer blankets and pillows to anyone in the waiting area.
• Take two visitors back to see patients.
• Answer family members’ questions instead of pretending like we don’t know.

And you want to know what’s weird? The Volunteers started bitching about how the new changes won’t work. Like:

Now there’ll be dirty blankets and pillows ALL over triage.

Why do we resist even GOOD CHANGES?
What is it that makes what we know better than what we don’t know?

I for one am glad we’re allowed to bring blankets to patients in the waiting room. Now I won’t have to sneak them in like I did before. Ahaha!

(Why are we so afraid of change? What changes scare you? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• ER Volunteer “Floater”
• ER: CODE RED – Diet Karma
• Hospital Heartthrobs: Mixed Messages

Okay, so it’s another Monday morning and since I don’t have an Acting job right now (or any job, sadly) I just called Charlayne and told her I’d be okay with “volunteering” to be a “Floater.” A Floater is someone who gets called in when a regular Volunteer has something going on in his/her life and since I don’t have much going on –

I’ll Float For Now –

When I can–

Till things pick up –

Which’ll hopefully be soon.

I’m already having second thoughts though–

Apparently now I have to go to the Annual Volunteer Meeting. Noooo! Next Saturday morning! (Good Times, right?)

ALL the Volunteers on ALL the ER shifts get forced to go and apparently some people use it as a suck-up session (like those kids in school who drove us all nuts) or a venting session, so it can go on and on (ugh!)

Supposedly at the meeting Charlayne will tell us all the new rules. What for? Hospital rules always change, so why give up several hours on a weekend to find out the latest rules that’ll probably change before the next weekend? Don’t get me started on rules for Volunteers. I mean, they want us to help people, but they keep coming up with rules that make it impossible to help people.

But fine – I’ll try to be open and non-judgmental (ha!) until I, at least experience one of these meetings myself. Maybe there’ll be some cute boys there, although I seriously doubt it.

Volunteers tend to be pretty much limited to:

• Med students, who need  the hours,
• Nursing students, who need the hours.
• Empty-nesters whose kids have left for college.
• Oldies (with brains and bodies that still work) looking for purpose.

Don’t get me wrong, there are rewards to volunteering in the hospital like SUPER CUTE DOCTORS (one in particular) and FRIENDS like Mira and Tyrell who make even the most stressful shifts tolerable and GRATEFUL PATIENTS who tell me I’m an “Angel”  (LUV when that happens). I mean, I wouldn’t sign up to be a Floater if there wasn’t some feeling of satisfaction.

Still, I wish I could skip the meeting…

(What do you wish you could skip this week? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Feeling Safe: Knowns vs Unknowns
• ER: CODE RED – Diet Karma
• Hospital Heartthrobs: Mixed Messages

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M948pizKuxk

Certain oldie-but-goody-vids still make me cry like Susan Boyle showing the world that what’s inside is more important than what’s outside and the “all time” best wedding dance vid “JK Wedding Dance” (which totally makes me want to plan my wedding even though at the moment I don’t have a groom in mind.)

Whenever I need to smile I just watch the “Chest Bump Montage”, which appeals to my inner-goof and I can’t explain why I think “Idiots” is so funny, I just do.

The entire “Mr. Old Spice” campaign totally rocks (not only for me, but for gazillions of others – Who knew?) I just can’t believe I got into it at the end of the campaign, because I have so many questions I’d like to ask Isaiah Mustafa (oh yeah!)

I’m just now introducing myself to webisodes (um, nice to meet you, even though I think people who make and watch these probably are a little psycho — in a good way of course.)

Look, I’m the first to admit I’m new to this world but now I finally have time to watch — (a benefit of being unemployed.)

Part of what’s amazing to me is the talent that’s shows up in these whack-isodes on My Damn Channel and FunnyorDie (Megan Mullally, Zoe Saldana, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Bosworth, Paul Rudd, Rashida Jones, Topher Grace…)

I think “Children’s Hospital” is totally out there, but I’d be very happy to step in for Malin Akerman when she’s making some mega movie, because actually now I have hands-on experience in the medical field and Malin and I are EXACTLY the same type (hint hint Rob Corddry!)

What = Funny is SO relative, right?

Personally I’m not into raunch, although I know many are.

I like --

• a “little” suggestive
• romantic embarrassment
• finding the funny when it comes to the heart

That’s why MY Best Web Series Award would go to— “WAINY DAYS“, obvi!

(Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks it’s great, because David Wain got the 2010 Streamy Award for “Best writing in a comedy series.”) “WAINY DAYS” has so many amazing webisodes from #1 – “Shelly” to the current #32 Donna--  there’s just so much to love while laughing.

And a word about Megan Mullally — I just luv, luv, luv her – whether she’s on the recently canceled “PARTY DOWN” or playing the “ER” Kerry Weaveresque Chief on “Children’s Hospital” or as Donna on “Wainy Days” she’s just SOOOOO good. I’ll take her “Own Special Blend” of comedy any day of the week.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aukH24thCOY

(What vids and webisodes do you find funny? Share in the comments!)

Liked that? Check out:

• 2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY
• Film Faves: Currently Speaking
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!

Hotties

On the home page of IMDB Pro right now is a picture of Betty White with the heading –

“HOT IN CLEVELAND is TV Land’s most –watched ever.”

Imagine – FOUR WOMEN  (the youngest of which is 49) who in one show manage to bring in –

THE MOST FANS of  TV Land’s History!

Four Actresses whose total ages add up to: 246!

Seriously this is HUGE news in a world where actresses like me start to worry when we’re barely on the wrong side of quarter-life.

Even though I had no idea what channel TV Land was on (thank god for Tivo!) I watched “HOT IN CLEVELAND” last night to see four sitcom legends (all previously on mega-networks) do something out-of-the-box and in-the-box at the very same time.

And BTW, they were – AWESOME!

HOT IN CLEVELAND may be pure sitcom but it manages to–
NOT feel outdated.

The jokes are modern–
but not dumb-funny,
or potty-humor funny,
or trying-too-hard funny
just– FEEL GOOD FUNNY

KUDOS to–
Jane Leeves, Valerie Bertinelli, Wendie Malick and Betty White!

You ladies are–

HOT and HILARIOUS.

Way to go super-smarty producer Sean Hayes! Bet you’re laughing all the way to the bank. (And you managed to make TV news that rivals the Lakers’ big win and Roberto and Ali flying through the air in LION KING!)

Interestingly, HOT IN CLEVELAND is now the hottest show in TV Land’s history. How cool is that!?

(How hot do you plan to be when you’re hovering around the half-century mark? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• 2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY
• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves
• Film Faves: Currently Speaking

I’m starting off Monday with “The Rules of Being Human” because I’ve been making lots of mistakes lately like—

• Dropping my iPhone in the toilet (hope that’s not a sign.)

• Setting off the fire alarm in the ER (oops! I was just hungry.)

• Freezing in my audition (this producer I dated and um– avoided was sadly in the room.)

Apparently I’m stuck in the school of life, because I keep learning lots of lessons. Double Ugh!

Hope I’ll graduate soon to the next level, but unfortunately that’ll just mean—

More lessons!

Oh well. Guess I’ll go get this body in shape on a Monday morning run in Runyon Canyon and hope some of the answers inside me reveal themselves ASAP!

Oh– I just realized the new iPhone will be coming out in two weeks. (Yay, the answers are already revealing themselves and I haven’t even put on my running shoes yet.) Ahahaha!

The Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in an informal school called Life.  Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error. Experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately “works”.

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it.  You can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. “There” is no better than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here,” you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you either love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

(Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott)

(What lessons have you learned lately? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Hospital Heartthrobs: Mixed Messages
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Valentines Day: The Way To His Heart

I'm toast!

Okay, so this is what I get for even thinking about eating carbs. After 45 minutes of rocking my world with Andrea at Made In L.A. Fitness,  I’m on my late shift in the ER and suddenly remember that I haven’t eaten (mainly because my stomach alerts me with rumblings loud enough for the patients to hear.)

So I pop into the employee lounge hoping someone left a fruit basket which sometimes happens when patients are really appreciative to the staff (hint hint) but instead I find –

Two boxes of Noah’s Bagels
from one of Dr. A’s female stalker patients.

I search for my favorite (Whole Wheat Sesame) hoping I won’t find it (too tempting at
125 g)  and of course it’s there, practically with my name on it. So when no one is looking (somehow it feels less fattening when no one is looking) I slice it and put it in the toaster.

Then I remember promising to bring a blanket and pillow to this little old lady in the hallway bed across from Ortho,  so I run out for a sec. THEN all the doors start closing and the lights start flashing and I hear –

CODE RED, ER NORTH TOWER, CODE RED.

Whaaa?

From time to time I hear a “CODE RED” page, but always for a different floor far far away. But today it’s really close and everyone on the floor starts looking around wondering–

Where’s the fire?

and THEN Security bursts through the doorway, rushing to the…

EMPLOYEE LOUNGE

Oops!

Oh yeah — My Noah’s bagel half was a little too overwhelmingly thick for the ancient toaster in the employee lounge and apparently it set off a smoke alarm yada yada…

How’s that for embarrassing?

And wanna know what’s worse? My new name in the ER (started by a certain Dr. A) is –

“Code Red!”

OMG! Couldn’t he have picked a better name, like –

Smokin’ Hot!?

(What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you this week? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Feeling Safe: Knowns vs Unknowns
• ER Volunteer “Floater”
• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves

Family Matters!

Now’s the time when all the Trades are filled with pre-nom ads promoting every show, every actor everybody for the Emmy Nominations. It’s a little overkill if you ask me. Except when it comes to MODERN FAMILY! I luv Wednesday’s cover of Variety where they’re all wearing smeared white clothes looking all goofy like a real family.

Tight Genes

MODERN FAMILY has without a doubt raised the bar really high in the Best Comedy category, serving up laughs on SO many levels it’s impossible to count them all. The show has the good bones of Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan and the genius of director Jason Winer who showed his outstandingness when he directed the Liz Meriwether pilot: “Sluts.”

Each of MODERN FAMILY’s phenom cast of eccentric characters is so hilariously flawed in a totally unique and loving way, I can’t figure out from week to week which one is my favorite. They all make me simultaneously laugh and cry, which is the best compliment I can give to any show.

MODERN FAMILY’S INCREDIBLE CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Jay -- Ed O’Neill (crotchity but loving)
Claire -- Julie Bowen (we all know a Claire right?)
Phil -- Ty Burrell (nerdy to the max)
Gloria -- Sofia Vergara (sexy smart and surprisingly loving)
Mitchell -- Jesse Tyler Ferguson (OMG! There are no words)
Cameron -- Eric Stonestreet (ditto!)
Haley -- Sarah Hyland (her expressions kill me)
Luke -- Nolan Gould (the apple doesn’t fall from the Phil)
Alex -- Ariel Winter (a brainy bad seed)
Manny -- Rico Rodriguez (an old soul in a foreign body)

MODERN FAMILY’S dysfunctional members are so memorable and lovable and the stories so fresh and laugh-out-loud-funny that the only thing I can say that’s wrong with it is that it doesn’t last longer than 30 minutes.

My favorite MODERN FAMILY moments:

• Manny’s Dad (Benjamin Bratt) shows up with extravagant gifts.
• Claire tries to impress the firefighters answering Phil’s 911 call.
• Claire’s friend (Minnie Driver) makes Claire feel like a loser.
• Jay and Cameron hangout in the locker room. Oops!
• Mitchell and Cameron set Manny up with a date.
• Gloria surprises Jay in Hawaii.
• Mitchell freaks out about a bird.
• Claire and Phil spice things up a bit.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6--ce2OEcI

In case the actors all cancel each other out in the Best Supporting categories, lets hope hope hope MODERN FAMILY gets nominated and WINS in the Best Comedy and Writing categories because I can’t think of another show that does Finding the Funny any better than MODERN FAMILY.

If only they would adopt ME…

(What do you like best about MODERN FAMILY? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Film Faves: Currently Speaking

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHz31KjHAIM

My film faves (like all my faves) are always changing. I suppose I’m a work in progress. (Big shock, right?)

Anyway, here’s a list of some that quickly come to mind, in no particular order btw. I added a couple of my Mom’s faves like “Splendor in the Grass” (she was a sucker for Warren Beatty) and “Breakfast at Tiffany’s (who doesn’t love Holly?) and “Big Chill” (You Can’t Always Get What You Want“) for my Dad.

But as for the videos, I just had to include two of my

all-time hands-down faves…

The Royal Tenenbaums

500 Days of Summer

I’m sure I’ll think of more as soon as I push “publish.”

Up In The Air
Hurt Locker
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
Sex and the City
He Said, She Said
Funny People
I Love You, Man
The Hangover
Slumdog Millionaire
Vicky Christina Barcelona
The Dark Knight
Doubt
Milk
The Visitor
He’s Just Not That Into You
Two Lovers
Where the Wild Things Are
Lost in Translation
Waiting for Guffman
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Almost Famous
Stealing Beauty
Annie Hall
Amelie
The Savages
Sex and Lucia
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original)
The Wizard of Oz
Annie Hall
Butterflies Are Free
Splendor in The Grass
The Big Chill
You Can Count on Me
Wonder Boys
The Queen
King of Kong
City Island
Donnie Darko
Good Will Hunting
The Devil Wears Prada
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Meet The Parents
Little Miss Sunshine
Juno
Pretty Woman
to be continued…

From RT:
Eli: I’m not in love with you any more.
Margot: I didn’t know that you ever were.
Eli: Let’s not make this any more difficult than it already is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl6FbeoXeHQ

(What are your film faves and why? Share in the comments)

Liked that? Check out:

• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves
• 2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQTFsbS013Y

Pilot Season for me was a BIG disappointment and I have to admit, a new low point, but picking myself up and reaching for the top is what acting’s all about (or so they say, whoever “they” are.)

There’s nothing quite like getting out in nature and breathing in the fresh air to remind me there’s a big world out there and I shouldn’t be afraid to explore it. It’s all about “acting” positive, right?

It’s like my Dad always says about a pebble. If you hold it up to your eye, it looks really big — like a boulder — but if you throw it as far as you can, it just becomes a small grain of sand.

Hope is Always in the Big Picture

My 2010 Pilot Season Pebble is already looking smaller to me. The good thing about acting is that there’s always something around the corner. After the Upfronts this month, auditions start up again with recasts. Yay – hope…

My HD Mino Flip Camera keeps reminding me --

It’s all in the way you look at it.

(What helps you stay focused on the big picture? Share in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Film Faves: Currently Speaking
• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves