dr. crush

You think you know what you want. But what if you got it, would you even want it? Would you even know what to do with it? What if you blow it? What if you make the most of it? What if you’re not sure, but you’re willing to take some risks?

Are you EVOLVING or ESCAPING?

Is it the right time or the wrong time? Are you just biding time, because you’ve got time on your hands? Maybe it’s because he’s hands-off, unavailable like so many guys. So it’s the chase, not the win you can’t shake.

Think about your real life — the one you almost had — the one you’ve been working for. You know, the one that’s on hold right now.  Maybe he’ll hold you back from your hopes and dreams. What about living the dream? Maybe he’s just a dream.  What if it’s a nightmare ending? Maybe he’s not all he seems. Maybe he’s so much MORE!  Winners are better than wannabes, right? But are you a loser if you wannabe with a winner? Will you feel less if he’s more?

INDECISION OR INTROSPECTION?

Can you even find a soul mate, when you’re not sure who you are?  Can the qualities in him make up for those MIA in yourself? Is it complementing or copping out?

Clearly he’s someone you can count on? Now you won’t have to count on yourself. Or maybe he’ll count on you too. And together you’ll go to infinity.

If you change, will you recognize your reflection? Would that be good or would that be bad? Are you supposed to know all the answers in your twenties? Would you want to, if you could?

He’s not your typical type. But what if it’s time for a change? Changes are good if they’re good. Or do you just need a quick fix? Do you feel broken inside? Is it the white coat effect? Is your pulse racing because he’s an MD?

Are you HEALING or HALLUCINATING? Does this call for champagne or medication?

With every answer, you get questions.

Is this LOVE or are you going INSANE? Call the paramedics! Get to your ER —  STAT!

(if anyone else has the answers, pul-eeze leave a comment!)

Liked that? Check out:

• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer
• Back to the Grind: VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?

Emmy - What if?

Here’s the deal. I (like probably every Actor on earth) have an AWARD SPEECH playing and rewinding in my brain, ready for the BIG MOMENT.  Revisions occur regularly after the OSCARS, EMMYS and SAG AWARDS  each year and of course any time I’m about to get a BIG BREAK that’ll TOTALLY CHANGE MY CAREER! (Sound familiar fellow-Actors?)

Naturally I pay close attention to what works (luv’d Ty Burrell‘s “Tight Genes”speech) , what falls flat and what touches people (hi-five to Guy Pearce for inserting the raciest touch!) If the acceptance speech elicits laughs and tears it’s probably a good one, right?

Here’s my current list to thank, but I’m still working on it. Luckily or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it, MOM!) I’ve got time to tweak it, revise it and hone it. And FYI I think it’s a total waste of the clicking clock to keep repeating the words, “And I want to” thank…  So I’m planning on keeping it in the present tense, to reduce my word count and show more appreciation.  Also, if we’re talking about peeves, I’m getting a little bored with “I didn’t think I’d win, so I didn’t plan a speech” — Come on! Everyone imagines “what if?” otherwise YTF are we waxing,  juice cleansing, botoxing, highlighting, training, boxing, running, spinning and ohmming?

Who I’d thank in my Emmy Award Speech

T H A N K    Y O U:

• SUPER DAD for cheering me on every step and for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself –
• JOSH – for sticking with me when everyone else thought I’d blown it –
• WILL Wannabe — if you hadn’t left me when I was down, I wouldn’t've learned how to reach higher –
• CHARLAYNE for forcing me to get my real act together –
• MIRA for selfless lessons, you rock! –
• NILES – OMG – for being my girlfriend, hairstylist and therapist–
• OLIVIA – for knowing there was so much more and teaching me how to access it — and…
• DR. A — Well you know, why you’re on this list –Oops!  Okay, I’ll keep it private (wink) –

Noooo! STOP the music!  I’m not done yet — Really! PLEASE STOP!

Thank you… Mom… for all of your signs to FIND THE FUNNY through the madness and missteps and for giving me COURAGE (gulp!) to deliver the MAGIC –

Mom, this one’s for YOU!

(If you got an award who would you thank? Please let me know in the comments.)

Liked that? Check out:

• Has Texting Replaced Talking?
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Programming My LIfe

he needs a bear hug

Arrivederci vacay!
Last night it’s back to my dreaded reality (ugh!) Running late, I’m already in deep do-do as I listen to three escalating voicemails from Charlayne, translating to: “Where the F are you!?”

The ER is a Zoo –

Triage is backed up. A worried Mommy carries in a little cutie whose curly blond locks are now stained blood red from a nasty fall. Then there’s this seven year-old scared kid who limps in with his Mom. And a nice voluptuous Latina who in-between constant calls on her cell, apologizes as her “UNCLE” upchucks all the way to the men’s room.

As I escort the limping kid (now on the verge of tears) to Bed 18, I try (unsuccessfully) to cheer him up. We pass by Dr. Adam COUGHING as he finishes up dictation on the phone –

ADAM: You’re BACK!
ME: You’re SICK!

I’m thinking: “Have you seen a doctor?” when I realize he sees one every time he looks in the mirror (ahaha!)
I covertly dial: 310 274 0101

After his unconvincing, “I’m really okay, COUGH COUGH!”  Dr. A disappears into 18 where the kid is now really worked up. I sort of peek from the doorway and see Adam pretending to check different parts of him with a tickle here and a tickle there, saying “Does it hurt here? Or here?” And the kid actually laughs. So I’m kinda loving Dr. A right now.

I get beeped on my phone (oh, yeah – the delivery guy) and I run out front. When I come back carrying a bag from Nate n Al’s I see Adam coming out of 18 –

ADAM:  I guess I’d better go home COUGH.

ME:  Here. Matzo ball soup with extra noodles.

ADAM: Aw, that’s something my mom would do.

ME:  Not what I was going for.

ADAM:  No chance (cute grin) COUGH!

ME:  K, well um feel better.

ADAM:  Already do.

As he COUGHS his way out the door I realize I do too. Being back isn’t so bad after all. Ahaha!

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Courage: The Heroes who have it
• Valentines Day: The Way To His Heart

OMG! I’m such a KLUTZ!

find the funny even when it hurts

Before my 1:00 shift today I thought I could squeeze in a mani|pedi. (Wrong!) I was excited to look my best for my meeting tonight at Craigs with a up-and-coming Writer/Director. Apparently I miscalculated.

Upsettingly, the whole process took longer than usual (How would I know Nail Spa Lane would be busy on a Monday?) Realizing I was LATE, I ran through the alley, and hopped over a planter, but my flip flop got caught on the ledge and I landed face-down on the pavement. OUCH!

A sweet parking lot attendant helped me up and asked me if I was okay in Spanish (at least I think that’s what he said.) Everything ached as I limped away in total embarrassment. When I got to my car I cringed as I looked into the rear-view mirror because the right side of my face was reddish and swollen. Still I had hope.

When I got to the ER, Anthony the Triage Nurse took one look and was actually nice to me for once.

My trip down “Ungraceful Lane”  got me:

• A skinned right knee
• A bruised left leg
• A sprained right foot
• A bruised right shoulder
• A cut above my right eyebrow
• A swollen, scraped cheek
• the beginning of  (s#@t!) a black eye

Thankfully nothing was broken. I didn’t need stitches by my eye.  My hot E.R.Doc showed me his best bedside manner —  cleaning my wounds, bandaging my knee, wrapping my foot for support.  He slipped me some extra cold packs (sooo romantic – ahaha!) and told my supervisor Charlayne that I needed to have a few days off to recuperate.

Cast as “Klutzilla” in my very own HORROR MOVIE –

– I had to (boo hoo) cancel the meeting with the Writer|Director. (My agent said the character he’s looking for is NOT a battered woman!)

Oh well —  guess I’ll go buy some cute dark glasses and start my recuperation at Starbucks.

Living the dream…

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• ER: CODE RED – Diet Karma
• Resolutions Revisited

shell we? ahaha!

An unexpected connection is the best kind of all. Especially when it’s an unexpected connection with someone you’ve wanted to connect with, but wondered if you ever would. An ordinary night becomes extraordinary. A smile means oh so much more. And you realize when you’re following through with something you need to do, (sometimes) your own needs are surprisingly fulfilled too. Uh huh uh huh.

Don’t want to get into details ‘cuz like with an audition if you talk too much about it before it’s really a sure thing, it can go…  POOF!

Krispy Kremes, Dreams and Schemes

Maybe he saw me in a new way the other night. Maybe it’s a combination of all those Krispy Cremes I’ve been taking to the hospital staff lately, PLUS my nightly candle wishes, PLUS trying to be in the right place at the right time.

All I know is, yesterday I was sleeping and I woke up to a DREAM:

• an unexpected beach run
• the start of a beautiful day
• And a big smile on my face (Oh yeah!)

(what unexpected connections have you made lately?)

Liked that? Check out:

• BEST ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: Working on it
• Life: not according to plan
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!

Last night (after my my ER shift) something kinda magical happened. Can’t talk about it. Don’t want to jinx it. Let’s just say  Volunteering in the ER has unexpected benefits. Well see…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOWHPDTTse4

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Back to the Grind: VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?

is romance short-handed?

Today’s #findthefunnymonday question asks – What’s the deal with GUYS and TEXTING?

It seems like constant texting gives guys the sense that they’re with us, without actually having to put in the time.  Anyone else noticing this? OMG! I’m sure “Texting” was invented by a GUY. Right?

Texting = Communicating?

Do we truly connect when we text? Depends. Getting to say what you want to say in as few words as possible and then being done with it is a Guy’s DREAM. Obvi. But Women need more. Much more.

If you Google “texting” you get all kinds of advice from “Flirty Text” to “Dirty Text.” I might just have to try out this flirt-fave I just found online  –

“Stop thinking about me!:)”

I’m SO over BORING TEXTS, aren’t you!

I went out with this cute boy and we had this great time and ever since, he texts me five or six times a day, but so far there’s no hint about when or even if we’ll see each other again and it has been two weeks! Some of his riveting text subjects include details about his stomach flu (btw I was the one who wanted to throw up) delayed appointments, take-out orders. It takes every ounce of restraint to NOT text back  ”ZZZZ!!”

And then there’s Dr. Mixed-Message (who has my number because I accidentally left my phone in the ER and he found it). He texted me recently (completely out of the clear blue) with–

“Go look at the moon.”

Kinda romantic and kinda confusing.  I’m glad he was thinking about me, but… I’m not crazy for wanting a little more, am I?

(Gotta admit though, it was a pretty awesome moon…)

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Find the Funny Monday: Managing Expectations
• Vids & Webisodes: My Faves

Searching for "the one"

LOVE --

It’s a word people use very loosely. (I say it all the time.) It’s a feeling that’s actually impossible to describe. It’s something we think we understand until we meet someone we feel even more powerful about.

It may mean something different to each and every person – we have no way of knowing.

There’s no way to measure it or see it. We just FEEL it. And we all WANT it. 

Speaking of LOVE:

“Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside.” – Margaret Walker

“Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.” – Anonymous

“Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” – Zora Neale Hurston

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Mark Twain

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” – Peter Ustinov

“Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Elizabeth Browning

“Young love is from the earth, and late love is from heaven.” - Turkish Proverb

“First love is dangerous only when it is also the last.” – Branislav Nusic

“You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.” – Anonymous

“Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it.” – Robert Mitchum

“Till I loved I never lived—enough.” – Emily Dickenson

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” – Nietzsche

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” -George Sands

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.” – Woody Allen

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”- Dr. Seuss

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” – John Lennon and Paul McCartney

www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4p8qxGbpOk

(What does “LOVE” mean to you?)

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?
• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012

love notes

If you’re running out of ideas for February 14th, you can always pull together a Valentine’s Day CD, right? Music is always romantic; it connects us; and it takes us to indescribable places. Oh yeah!

So, even if you don’t have a Valentine to give it to, make it for yourself – -

35 Songs to put you in the mood…

• Howlin’ For You- The Black Keys
• You’re Breakin’ My Heart- Harry Nilsson
• All I Want- Joni Mitchell
• Take Me Over- Cut Copy
• Kissing You- Des’re
• Stuck Like Glue- Sugarland
• Fall For You- Jamie Foxx (feat. Drake)
• Rolling In The Deep- Adele
• Coming Home- Diddy (feat. Skylar Grey)
• This Is Love- PJ Harvey
• Who’s That Chick- David Guetta (feat. Rihanna)
• Save Me- Nina Simone
• Love Hits the Fan- Phonat
• Heartbeats- Grum
• Take Me Home tonight (Henry Blank Remix)- Topmodelz
• Don’t Go Away- the Zombies
• How Can U Luv Me- Unknown Mortal Orchestra
• Stranded in the Jungle- Cadets
• Hey Little Girl- Professor Longhair
• Love Lost (keljet remix)- Temper Trap
• Take it Off- Genteels
• Que Veux-Tu- Yelle
• When You’re Young and in Love- The Flying Pickets
• Dedicated to the One I love- The 5 Royales
• Mio Amore (till the end of time)- The Flamingos
• I don’t Want to Get Over You- The Magnetic Fields
• You and Me- Penny and the Quarters
• Whole, Wide, World- Bahamas
• Funnel of Love- Wanda Jackson
• Tracks of my Tears- Aretha Franklin
• Whispering Bells- The Del Vikings
• Good Lovin’ – Betty Wright
• There is a Light that Never Goes Out- the Smiths
• Idolize You- Ike and Tina Turner
• You’ve Got the Love (hahaha remix)- Florence And The Machine

smooch!

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• BEST ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: Working on it
• Back to the Grind: VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER

learning to connect

Sometimes when you’ve got it in your head that something’s gonna happen, you can end up being easily disappointed.  That happens to me. I think it happens to a lot of people. You kind’a set yourself up because you haven’t done the work or in some cases clued the other person in.  Sadly most people aren’t mind-readers, and that goes double or even triple for Guys.

EVEN WHEN WE THINK WE SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE WE DON’T –

So when what you imagine doesn’t happen, you pout,  get all judge-y and passive-aggressive and the real you, transforms into this totally unrecognizable you because you’re angry or sad or at the very least, FRUSTRATED. And, if your expectations involve someone else, he or she may actually have his|her own set of expectations that don’t necessarily gel with yours. And do you notice that sometimes when you get really strong about what you want, it makes the other person get stronger about what they want?

Communication Styles –

I’m really into noticing people’s styles these days. Some people have a very  mellow way of getting through life; some people are more passive and others are more combative. Maybe it’s because I hate to argue and in fact think that it feels like I’m in a fight. While others think that heated debate about any subject is just a great way to communicate. Weird huh?

It’s amazing we manage to communicate at all!

My bff Rachel is kind of awesome the way she raises her boys. When they were babies and wanted something they couldn’t have, she’d sweetly say –

I know you’re really frustrated. You really want to…

And shockingly even at the baby-level the boys felt understood and heard, even when they couldn’t for instance get off the plane while it was flying.

My frenemy “B” who unfortunately is a resident at the hospital where I volunteer, gets very bitchy when she doesn’t get her way. It doesn’t work for me and it didn’t work for her boyfriend in college who started to hang out with me (um, let’s not get into that now.)

Getting back to Rachel – when she waited and waited for her guy to propose and it wasn’t happening, instead of getting all ultimatum-y she flirtatiously teased –

“Isn’t there something important you want to ask me today?”

He’d laugh and so would she. She started doing it on a regular basis and it made her feel less frustrated, while definitely getting the point across in a cute and funny way.

Then one day, her guy surprised her as she was about to drive away in her car. He told her to roll down the window and kneeled on the driveway to talk to her. He pulled out a ring and popped the question.

When she asked why he picked that particular moment, he grinned –

This is the one time you didn’t ask me if I have something to ask you!

They laughed and laughed and obviously communicated BIG TIME — each in his and her own way.

I’m gonna try to find the funny with my own expectations. Even if they don’t pan out, at least I’ll have a good laugh.

How do you manage your expectations? What’s your communication style?

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?
• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer