Hotties

On the home page of IMDB Pro right now is a picture of Betty White with the heading –

“HOT IN CLEVELAND is TV Land’s most –watched ever.”

Imagine – FOUR WOMEN  (the youngest of which is 49) who in one show manage to bring in –

THE MOST FANS of  TV Land’s History!

Four Actresses whose total ages add up to: 246!

Seriously this is HUGE news in a world where actresses like me start to worry when we’re barely on the wrong side of quarter-life.

Even though I had no idea what channel TV Land was on (thank god for Tivo!) I watched “HOT IN CLEVELAND” last night to see four sitcom legends (all previously on mega-networks) do something out-of-the-box and in-the-box at the very same time.

And BTW, they were – AWESOME!

HOT IN CLEVELAND may be pure sitcom but it manages to–
NOT feel outdated.

The jokes are modern–
but not dumb-funny,
or potty-humor funny,
or trying-too-hard funny
just– FEEL GOOD FUNNY

KUDOS to–
Jane Leeves, Valerie Bertinelli, Wendie Malick and Betty White!

You ladies are–

HOT and HILARIOUS.

Way to go super-smarty producer Sean Hayes! Bet you’re laughing all the way to the bank. (And you managed to make TV news that rivals the Lakers’ big win and Roberto and Ali flying through the air in LION KING!)

Interestingly, HOT IN CLEVELAND is now the hottest show in TV Land’s history. How cool is that!?

(How hot do you plan to be when you’re hovering around the half-century mark? Share in the comments.)

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Remember what it felt like in high school on the day of the SATs? You’d been prepping all year for this (maybe longer), private coaching (if you grew up in West LA) on the various techniques, taking PSATs periodically to get a rough idea, pumping yourself up to get into the right mind frame or better yet -

THE ZONE.

Knowing that with every right step you are that much closer to the college of your dreams… In this moment you have complete control over -

YOUR FUTURE.

That’s what it’s like to make it to the Network Test for a TV pilot.

You’ve already:

• wowed the Casting Director at the pre-read
• gotten new notes
• impressed the director and producers in the second round

You’ve spent a day in a work session (with the director and the CD) where (if you’re lucky) you’re told “you’re in first position” (hush hush) going into the Test, and now all you need to do is produce one more time with confidence and specificity.
And it’s nerve wracking.
(Think Johnny Drama’s last audition on Entourage.)

Then… after sitting in a folding chair in the hallway for over an hour with 3 or 4 other actors competing for the same part, your nerves become almost palpable.

Palms start sweating -

Your thoughts are firing so fast your iPod can’t even tune them out -

“Do I remember my lines?”
“Do I remember my lines?”
“Do I remember my lines?”

Your heart beats faster -

FASTER

FASTER

FASTER

And then, finally (and almost dreadedly at this point)…

“Evie Stewart!”  is called.

The Casting Director kindly ushers you into the small theater with lime green walls where 20 Suits “anxiously await” this performance of yours –

• checking their watches
• finishing up inside jokes
• reading their Blackberries

Um, hel-lo?!

You look to the writer and producers who comfort you a bit with their empathy. They silently root for you to pull something magical out of this very stifling situation.

You’ve got ONE chance and your future DEPENDS on it.  Things look dim.

But there’s a New Light in the Scary Tunnel

Fox is mixing things up this season and network screen tests will now be seen on camera only, never in person. OMG!!

Oh, and posterity — check this out --

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Koj93Api_4

Pros and Cons (and Worries) for the Actor

On one hand, now I’ll get feedback in the room, which I can then use to make the next take even better until we get the BEST reading out of me and put that on tape for the Suits. (And my reel?) Good.

On the other hand, everybody looks different on screen than in person (fatter?!), and without that personal interaction and connection in the room (and my secret perfume), there’s a chance my “star quality” won’t read on screen. Bad.

Of course there’s a little (lot!) added pressure to make sure my hair, my makeup, and my wardrobe are all “camera ready” but that’s true for both types of auditions.

Still – I hope it’s going to make things much easier on actors in the end. For me, it’s a relief to know I can have a second or third take if I want it. AND it’s less pressure (and more supportive) to be in a room of people (like the CD who’s taping me) who already love me and want me to get the part.

I hope that this is going to make the whole process more

fun and creative…

Two words I certainly never associated with the word “test” in the past.

(What series would you have loved to star in? Let us know in the comments…)

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I walk into the ER today for an on-call shift (gee, thanks Charlayne), and the first thing I see is Triage filled with people wearing YELLOW MASKS. And btw this isn’t leftover from Halloween – although very scary, just the same. I swear it’s like a scene out of that sci-fi series Andromeda Strain – a total FREAK SCENE – and before I can Purell or even sign in, Anthony snaps “Get to Fast Track, Stat.”

I like these shots better!

In Fast Track, instead of seeing patients, I see a bunch of the staff getting shots. Whaaaa? Even Charlayne is there and she hands me a form and says, “Sign here, cuz y’all need to get the H1N1.” Apparently they had two cases of the Swine Flu in the ER last night!

OMG! Now I need protection from Community Service?!?!

I’m wondering if they can really force me to be here when Tyrell, who’s generally a very cool dude, starts freaking out saying he’s worried about his kids, cuz they’re the ones in the most danger, and he asks how his kids can get it too, but apparently family members can’t get it till everyone who works at the hospital gets theirs first.

Oh man– they can have my flu shot!

Meanwhile two nurses are talking about some nurse in Sacramento who died from Swine Flu. I think they said she was the first healthcare worker to die from the pig bug.

And then Dr. Adam turns around all cool, calm and un-phased. Yeah – well he’s the one with the needle –  and before I have time to process anything, I feel him rubbing my arm with a cold alcohol pad (not exactly the kind of rubbing I had in mind) then a shot from Dr. Hot (man, he IS good) and I feel all hot and cold at the same time, and then his D E E P voice –

“One of the perks of working here.”

I walk away thinking I like the other perks of working here and wondering what just happened? when it suddenly hits me…

Hey  –

I’ll never have to worry about the Swine Flu again.

Who’s up for shots — !?

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Love Bites

I love weddings.
I sometimes love vampires (I’m looking at you Rob Pattinson.)

Not so sure about the combo.  Check it out:

Sometimes Love Sucks

A bride in a coffin?

A hearse instead of a limo?

Pallbearers not bridesmaids?

A bite instead of a kiss?

What next –

A toast with Bloody Marys?

I love the month of Halloween as much (or more) as the next person but these Midwesterners have taken SCARY to a whole new level.

(And people think L.A.’s weird…!!)

You know how I feel about Reality TV (*cough*junk!*) But this I actually wouldn’t mind seeing.

What are you going to be for Saturday night?
And don’t tell me a Vampire Bride!

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it's really smart+funny

I really like Joel McHale’s new series ‘Community’ (except that, no offense, but I so should be playing Britta), so I’m online looking for some of the extras when I find this instead –

This article called “Community service as a TV theme” on LATimes.com today that talks about all of the networks spotlighting giving back, so it’ll be a recurring theme on daytime, prime time, all-the-time shows on NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox and cable.

Meanwhile, I’ve been cast in the real world as a volunteer and NO ONE will be tuning in to me.

It’s all being done by iParticipate and if you go to their website you’ll see Ashton, Demi, Faith Hill…

But again – NO ME.

Still, I can’t help but feel some of the Obama-esque pride of giving back (even though I’m being forced to) because it doesn’t matter how you get there, it only matters that you’re making a difference, right?

Right?

RIGHT?!

(Are you volunteering (on purpose) for something?
Let me know… and if you volunteer for a hospital and especially for an ER, let me know how you manage with all that hand-washing… I’m going through gobs of hand lotion every shift!)

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Just saw this at Variety.com (it’s hard to keep up but I try!):

Reality TV Shows have dug themselves into a hole

According to Michael Schneider at Variety.com: “… primetime’s reality show pack is aging, and just about all of them are well past their peak.”

Well, HALLELUJAH!

I know a lot of actors who’ll be happy to attend that funeral…

and I already have the perfect black blazer and boots.

burying some reality TV in style

But not all reality TV deserves to die… what shows are you addicted to? I’ll run a poll on it next week, let me know (then I’ll confess my own faves.)

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Yesterday I passed the Viper room on Sunset and on the marquis was a “John Hughes Tribute” and today it was in the L.A. Times, reminding me that John Hughes was amongst the many hugely influential entertainers/creative geniuses who tragically passed this year.

And I’ve had my personal fill of that trauma so I don’t usually dwell on that stuff.

turning 16 in Hollywood is tricky

Then I remembered this amazing blog that I’d found via from discovering 20SB  that was so compelling and interesting I am now reminded to share it with you.

It’s about this correspondence he maintained with this girl (who was one of a million impressionable teenaged fans of his).

And if this sounds creepy it’s because I’m not telling the story well AT ALL so you should just read the “We’ll Know When We Get There” blog yourself.

Do it. Do it now. I promise you’ll be happy you did.

I’m going to go Netflix Sixteen Candles now in his honor.  Seen it lately?

Liked that? Check out:

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“Arts, Briefly” is pretty much the only section of the New York Times (besides the headlines and crossword puzzle clues) that I read and my eyes lit up when I saw…

Language of ‘Saturday Night Live’ Cast Member Isn’t Ready for Prime Time

SNL cast member swears on national television, OOPS!

I guess The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (no relation, obvi) makes me forget swearing’s still a no-no on broadcast (and with kids in the cast of the Nick show, I never got into bad habits), but those SNL guys swear up a storm in rehearsal so it’s funny that it’s a big deal. But here’s the deal:

Apparently recently hired, Jenny Slate swore in a sketch in the premiere with Megan Fox (which means VIEWERS!) I guess in all the years of SNL that’s only happened a few times, which is remarkable right there.

Jenny Slate goes OOPS!

Of course I found it particularly interesting because I fantasize about being on SNL again… but with recent personal EVENTS of the public nature, I don’t expect THAT call anytime soon.

So when I see that someone else screw up –  sorry, but it makes me somehow feel better about my own. I know that’s kind of terrible.

Maybe I should start a bad-karma-jar and tip into it anytime I feel better at bad press hitting anyone but me.

Hopefully SNL keep her around long enough to make up for it, she’s getting a lot of publicity from it. You know how they say “there’s no such thing as bad publicity”?

God I hope it’s true.  I don’t want “Arts Briefly” to sum up my career.

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