Check out Ken Levine's Assessment: http://bit.ly/xV5Xfx

ACTORS! We’re insecure and yet we gravitate to the most insecure industry of all. Crazy!  And there’s so much to stress about  –

Aging | Looks | Relationships | Who’s Hot when you’re NOT | Keeping our Cool | Staying in the Mix | Timing.

PILOT SEASON: The ULTIMATE Test!

Well, here we are again at the beginning of Pilot Season. And this one is getting off to a slightly late start because Networks are still picking up Pilots… every day (and it’s almost February!) Nine Pilots were announced Friday! Half-hour Comedies are especially late — and I predict we’ll hear about a lot more pick-ups in the next couple of weeks, now that Comedies are back in a BIG-RATINGS-WAY.

I like to stay on top of what’s happening because it gives me something to discuss with my Agent before it’s too late.

PILOT PICK UPS – STAYING IN THE KNOW:

TV Tracker
It’s awesome! Expensive, but AWESOME, I subscribe to the daily alerts so I know when a Pilot has been picked up. I get an email alert with the logline, network, writer, producers and director for each project.

Deadline | Hollywood
They send out the emails for FREE, but they don’t contain all of the info in a concise way. Still, FREE is a big PLUS!

Futon Critic
You can go to the site to get the news releases.  But, I miss the old Futon Critic where they’d have Development Season Info by Network. I guess that’s a thing of the past.

To Know or Not To Know –

I love knowing that Great Minds I really respect (and would give anything to work with) like Jason Katims, Dick Wolf, David Kelley, Ryan Murphy, Greg Malins, Greg Berlanti, Kari Lizer and others are creating new shows that haven’t been cast yet — and that all of the Networks and Cable stations are looking for TALENT.

Look my way — please — I’m over here!

Some Actors stress about knowing. I can horriblize with the best of ‘em — TRUST ME —  but I actually like to know — especially at the beginning of Pilot Season because Opportunities give me hope – and I’m really big on HOPE!

I’m hoping to FIND THE FUNNY in front of a live Audience that laughs hysterically for 22 episodes… and then the HIT Series will be picked up again next year and the year after and the year after that… (and then I won’t have to go through Pilot Season again! ahahaha!)

F I N G E R S      C R O S S E D !

Liked that? Check out:

• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Resolutions Revisited
• INFOLIST: Oh, the possibilities…

stay open to possibility

Yesterday I got a DM from a Twitter Follower asking why I didn’t do a “Happy New Year Resolution Post” again this year. Oops! What did I write last year? Feeling brave I took a look at my lofty 2011 goals to DO, BE and GIVE more!

So much easier said than done –

I won’t start with excuses. I really did try. Some things went better than others. You’ll see. Um, maybe we should go in reverse order:

GIVE MORE –

I’d say I’ve earned a B or B+ in Giving, because this is where I’ve made the biggest strides. I clocked sooo many extra hours in the ER as a Volunteer and I really showed up with my best attitude (seriously!) Okay-okay, so for those of you who can see right through me, yes, there’s an advantage to showing up more in the ER when a certain Dr. Crush is around. But still – I’ve really really committed to helping the people I’m supposed to help whether he’s there or not. Swear!

BE MORE –

This one’s rough, because I actually was a Working Actress (today I got The Descendants screener — so there!) but I haven’t worked in over a year (truthfully longer) so I feel like I’ve totally failed in this area. Sadly, in Acting, if you’re not working you feel like a Wannabe, and that’s kind’a where I’ve been residing for awhile… very unfortunately.  So in this department, I’d say I deserve a C-  and not an F because several very supportive Casting Directors are still calling me in. For some unknown reason, they still think I’ve got it (even though I’m afraid I’ve lost it.) I hope they’re better at convincing the Producers than I am. Sigh…

DO MORE –

I’m trying to be all about the DOORS: keeping them open – and walking through Doorways I’ve never walked through before. So I promised a Commercial Director (in my Sunday Yoga Class) that I’ll be in the edgy short he’s writing|directing|producing. Normally I’d be a little leery, because once it’s been shot, you wanna make sure it won’t shoot a hole in your career (what career?!) But I’m gonna keep the faith as I walk through that Doorway. And then there’s this Music Supervisor (a friend of a friend) who’s gonna teach me what he knows, since I’ve always loved music. Maybe I’ll intern for him if Pilot Season doesn’t work out the way I’m hoping.

But speaking of Pilot Season – I’m going to try really hard this year to NOT second-guess my Audition opportunities. If my representation thinks I can be a separated Siamese-Twin-who-becomes-the first-one-armed-Astronaut, I’ll totally commit. If they call me in to play an 18 year-old Coed, I’ll enthusiastically cheer. Or if they want me to be a mother-of-three, I’ll find that instinct. Whatever opportunities come my way, I’m going for them and NOT LOOKING BACK!

Because next year I want to be able to look my Resolutions squarely in the face and go –

Hoo-ah!

 (What resolutions did you follow through on? C’mon be honest now…)

Liked that? Check out:

• Programming My LIfe
• LAUGHTER = Instant Gratification
• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012

if only I could affect the future

Last year I tried out a few New Year’s Superstitions (NOT all 20). If nothing else, I had a good laugh.  I opened all of the windows — let the old year escape, danced around a tree, and let my dirty locks flow through the air (oh yeah, I was a sight to behold!)

The Jury’s Still Out –

I have no idea if they worked or not, but things could be a lot worse! I’ve just researched 20 more and figure they’re worth trying. You never know…

WEAR NEW CLOTHES on New Years Day and you’ll get more during the year –
(isabel marant? vanessa bruno? barneys? hope-hope!)

NOISE MAKERS:. Blast the Fireworks, Ring Church Bells — scare away the meanies –
(time to blast Briana!)

MIDNIGHT KISS that person you’ll want to rekiss all year –
(guess I’ll be working the ER night shift…hmmm…)

DRAIN THE BOTTLE and good fortune will come your way –
(a little suggestive, isn’t it?)

JUMP SEVEN WAVES and THROW FLOWERS INTO THE SEA for good luck –
(if you’re not near the ocean, you might have a problem)

SCATTER COINS around the house so money will come your way all year round –
(this seems pretty obvious — just look for it in your house)

HIDE KNIVES in the house for 24 hours so no one will be hurt and the fortune will remain undisturbed –
(sounds like the beginning of a horror flick)

LIGHT UP the house so the coming year will be bright –
(this sounds like something my mom would’ve made up)

WEAR POLKA DOTS – anything round signifies prosperity –
(this might be tough to pull off, unless you’re a clown)

JUMP 12 TIMES at midnight to increase your height –
(maybe do this before you drain the bottle, otherwise things could get messy) 

EAT STICKY RICE, to make good fortune stick in the New Year –
(I love Asian food anyway)

WORK IT OUT: Do a sample of the work you’d like to have loads of in the year –
(I’ll be making a tape to send Jason Reitman!)

FIRST FOOTING: The first person to enter your home after the stroke of midnight will influence the year you’re about to have –
(i’ve got an emergency —  a certain doctor needs to stop by!)

FILL YOUR POCKETS on New Years Eve you will never have an empty pocket in the New Year –
(i need a pocket full of miracles)

WALK YOUR LUGGAGE out of your house and around the block encourages travel in your New Year.
(or travel to the nearest mental facility if anyone notices you doing this)

EAT GREENS and you’ll have lots of green money in the coming year.
(La Scala chopped salad?)

THROW RICE GRAINS at midnight and you’ll have an abundance –
(of what? Rice? Weddings? A mess to clean up?)

Put a GOLD RING in your champagne glass and you’ll have prosperity –
(unless you swallow it — then life will be a lot shorter)

CLIMB A CHAIR 12 times will make you find a boyfriend or girlfriend next year –
(wait.. how do you climb up a chair?)

BE UNDER THE TABLE and WEAR RED UNDERWEAR at midnight and you’ll get married next year –
(I’m not telling you what color underwear I’ll be wearing, but if you’re under the table with me, you might find out! ahaha!)

(What superstitions do you follow on New Year’s Eve?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Resolutions Revisited
• Programming My LIfe
• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer

cute card from zazzle.com

OMG! We’re here already! HO HO HO and Hanukkah are happening simultaneously – Ready or NOT!

Merriment and Melancholia

I love the holidays. I hate the holidays. We drive ourselves crazy; go into debt; reminisce about how things used to be; miss our loved ones who aren’t here…  Still, we CELEBRATE Holidays year after year!

LOVE

• Discovering thoughtful and unexpected gifts
• DIY Creations
• Sparkle-y lights everywhere!
• Wrapping Presents
• Baking Cookies and Cupcakes
• Decorating  (I’m one of the Light Bulb Store’s best customers)
• Cold weather (even in Los Angeles it’s BRRRR… this year)
• Great movies
• Dressing up
• Christmas Parties
• Connecting with people I love
• Internet shopping (sooo much easier!)
• Having an excuse to do something for a certain doctor

HATE

• Aggressive drivers (hey Man, we’re all in a hurry – chill!)
• Running out of time
• Crowded stores
• Picked-over merchandise
• Stressed-out people who snap at me.
• Disappointing anyone.

I wish no one had to be sick or in the Hospital. I wish disadvantaged people in bad situations could go POOF! and make it better. The Holidays can’t be happy for everyone at the same time. But…. even with the Love/Hate situation, the thing we all LOVE MOST about HOLIDAY GIVING is that it brings the people we love together. And that’s really the BEST PRESENT OF ALL, right?

Merry Merry/xo!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVaFoAIVzok

(what do you love and hate about the holidays?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012
• Resolutions Revisited
• 20 More NEW YEAR’S EVE SUPERSTITIONS

it'll take more than reading a book

My brain has been stuck on COMPUTERS this week. It started with the news reports about the high-tech-intelligence-gathering-Drone that ended up in Iranian hands, freaking everyone out!

JAMES BOND would know what to do –

What I don’t get is why in this day and age there isn’t a button the CIA can press that makes the Drone self-destruct. I’m certainly not a techie (obv!) but it seems very 007-101 to me.  And even if our team doesn’t want the Drone to explode in someone’s face, can’t they make it melt or something?

I mean — EVERYTHING seems do-able in computers these days… EVERYTHING! Our entire WORLD is computerized — everything except for MY LIFE – which gets me thinking…

What If…

… I could program MY LIFE like a MAC ?

I would -

• FORMAT my career, starting with me starring in a feature, directed by Jason Reitman, written by Diablo Cody!
• ZOOM IN on the best night of my life (before the “until…”)
• ZOOM OUT on the worst (after the “until”).
• INSERT myself into the cast of MODERN FAMILY (hint-hint, Steve Levitan).
• EDIT myself before I say a less-than-witty-thing in an Audition (like the one last month where the Casting Director actually turned RED after I spoke).
• PARENTAL CONTROLS I’d censor myself from some of my impulsive choices —  like doing-the-wrong-thing-in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time.
• UNDO my mistakes: like the career faux pas that sucked me into hospital hell!
• REBOOT – and get everything back to the way it was…

BUT… if I could control everything, some of the GOOD THINGS that come out of the bad would no longer be possible – like meeting Dr. Crush in a place I’d never go if I’d ever had a choice in the matter.

Maybe what MATTERS is what we make of the moments that don’t go RIGHT.  Sigh…

Oh well, I guess it’s a blessing I can’t channel STEVE JOBS,  ahaha!

(How would you computerize your life if you could?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Resolutions Revisited
• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• GOOD LUCK – Wishing and Hoping…

Let 'em roll!

The best part of Holiday Shopping is in the DISCOVERY. When you happen upon a SPECIAL FIND you know it.

I love gifts that make people smile or Oooooo and Ahhhhh or go –

“Wow, how do you find this stuff?”

Gifts don’t have to be expensive. They just need to be THOUGHTFUL– and CAREFULLY SELECTED, so the recipients know you “get” them. (When someone “gets” me, I feel all glittery inside — ‘specially a certain someone!)

12 FUN FINDS (most of which I wouldn’t mind getting btw, ahaha!)

• BANTER BANNERS  @$10 (“Good Times” ,“Celebrate” , “No Place Like” –  everyone LOVES them!)
• QUOTABLE MATCHBOX PACKS @$11.95  (“Shine Eternally”, “A Great Flame Follows a Little Spark”)
• JONATHAN ADLER SUGAR POP CANDLES  @$38 (a yummy companion to the quotable matchboxes)
• JAMES PERSE T-SHIRTS for Guys @$45+ (soft and comfy like the faves he can’t give away)
• SPLENDID TANKS FOR WOMEN  @$38+ (great colors and styles for every shape)
• MEN’S SOCKS FROM BARNEYS @$19+ (solids, stripes, designer-y to classic, from England and Italy for every closet and budget)
• ANTIPAST SOCKS FOR WOMEN @$30+ (the ultimate in cool Japanese style — I love the lacey-netty-sparkly ones)
  
• SUE DEVITT LASH INTENSIFIER TREATMENT AND LENGTHENING MASCARA @$49 (for fabulous flirtatious lashes – promise!)
• Macally Mini 7-Port USB Hub @$19.99 (seriously, I don’t know how I lived with out this before – it gets all of those ugly computer wires off your desk)
• MAGIC TRACKPAD @$69 (when I upgraded my Mac to Lion I got this and it’s just like using an iPad, or iPhone — so much easier)
• TRUZZLES $69.99 + (French, fabulous and the perfect table accessory for anyone who lives in style or wants to)
• Dexter Ice Truck Killer Thumb Drive @ $39.95 (you MUST know someone you’d like to give the finger to, ahaha!)

Thumbs up!

(Please share your SPECIAL FINDS in the comments — I’d love to know about more!)

Liked that? Check out:

• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012
• HALLOWEEN & the Scary Job Market!
• INFOLIST: Oh, the possibilities…

Feelin' it

Life is not exactly according to plan…still…there are so many reasons to say “Thanks!

Hug everything and everyone you have!

I’m THANKFUL that –

Liked that? Check out:

• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer
• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Back to the Grind: VOLUNTEERING IN THE ER

Am I in or out?

As an Actor my sense of self-worth is unfortunately tied to the attitude of the last Casting Director I’ve seen. Right now I’m not exactly in the find-the-funny-frame-of-mind, because in November and December when Auditions are so few-and-far-between, a low self-esteem period can seem endless and hopeless

VIBES FROM CASTING DIRECTORS

A lot of Casting Directors tend to put out negative vibes. I get the sense that if they could’ve been actors, well…they would’ve.  I don’t get a hugely creative vibe from the majority — which is kind of crazy, considering the job they’re setting out to do. Of course there are EXCEPTIONS, and once you do a good job for one, it’s likely that his/her attitude will shift from unnerving to something more encouraging.

WAITING FOR A SIGN

I always look to the CD after I’ve finished my read to see if I get silent feedback like a nod or a wink or a thumbs up, which does actually happen. They’re not really allowed to speak once the producers are in the room. It’s almost as if they’re also on trial at that point. So I find that I’m not the only one trying to impress the people in the room. And I feel this responsibility to the CD to show him/her off, in return for bringing me into the room in the first place.

At a recent Audition for a rather large role in a big studio comedy, I walked in, smiling enthusiastically –

I would love to play this part!

Then, from the Head of Casting  –

“Well, here’s your chance, with this tone in her voice that implied, It will NEVER happen!

That was fun.

Afterwards I mentioned to my Agent, that it was a really weird room and the next day we found out that the miserable woman had been fired.

So I’ve learned that it’s really not so much about me.  Of course when I get a good response from a CD, I’m elated all day. The next day however, when I haven’t heard any word about getting the job, well… that’s a different story.  Sigh…

(Now remind me again —  why did I think that becoming an Actor was a good idea?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012
• Resolutions Revisited
• Programming My LIfe

conundrums

On my ER shift, a Little Kid’s freaking out about having to get stitches, so I ask him if he can keep a secret? Uh-huh.

Wanna know our  SECRET CODE WORD ?

Yeah!…
…so I whisper: “Owww!”

Minutes later when  Dr. A dabs numbing cream on his wound, the kid yells, “Owww!” So I SHUSH! him about giving away the CODE WORD and he actually giggles – PLUS I get a “trying-not-to-smile-but-I-can’t-help-it” from Dr. A! So it’s a win/WIN of epic proportions! (My Mom would be so proud!)

Then in Triage, ANTHONY shouts at me for taking too many visitors back to see their Mom (c’mon Chan!) which is sooo frustrating! As I’ve said before — working in the ER is a LOVE|HATE situation!

ER Ambivalence –
THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE WHATEVER!

LOVE

De-Stressing the stressed (Helps de-stress me too.)

FINDING THE FUNNY + earning a SMILE (Comic timing must be right, otherwise it’s all wrong!)

Appreciation (The “air” volunteers breathe!)

Patient Patients (So rare, I really appreciate them.)

Happy Endings  (NOT the kind you’re thinking of.)

HATE

Walkie Talkies (Talk about “impersonal!”)

Go To Registration FIRST (It says: “Our money is more important than your chest pains!)

Too many cooks (So many experts – So many opinions!)

Too many rules (And they change every week, truth!)

The odors (Code Brown, need I say more?)

Suffering (Can’t think about it…)

Death (No words…)

TOLERATE

Bossy Pants (Sometimes they’re right, sometimes they’re just being a Buttinsky!)

Frequent Flyers (Gotta give it to ‘em, addicts can be pretty creative.)

Pushy Family Members (They’re just scared and feel helpless.)

Impatient Patients (We all feel that way, right?)

(What do you love|hate|tolerate in the ER?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Identity Crisis in the ER
• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)

Halloween Holly

October 31^st feels frightening, even if you’ve got a job. BUT… if your next gig is as invisible as a ghost, get CREATIVE!  When the door creeps open, step into the unknown.

Last Thursday I go to a BIRTHDAY DINNER for my firecracker-sports-agent-cousin-Jaimie at that new SBE (Katsuya group) restaurant next to Dan Tana’s: Mercato di Vitro.  As I pull up, I’m relieved to see that Kirsten Dunst’s Prius is even dirtier than mine. I head over to a table covered with family style platters of Artichoke Chips, Hen of the Woods Whatever, Buffalo Mozzarella, Osso Bucco, Primi Pastas…FUN, FATTENING and DELICIOSO!

Unexpected Opportunities for the Unemployed!

During dinner Jaimie starts stressing about not having enough time to get her “Holly Go Lightly” ensemble together before the Soho House Saturday Night Halloween Party. She asks what I’m gonna be –

Your Halloween Stylist!

GETTING THE JOB DONE –

Friday I’m up early and online – printing Audrey pics, searching for her LBD. Luckily The BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S dress is “THE dress” right now, so I find versions at every price from Theory to Bottega Veneta. Thankfully Jaimie is flexible about price ‘cuz she’ll wear this dress to her gazillion business events afterwards.

I start out on 3^rd Street Promenade. First stop: Forever 21 for jewels. The price is right, but the look’s not quite. So I move on to TIARAS at a kiosk, where I get recognized (embarrassing!) Next I go to the Tobacco Shop, but they’ve just sold out of their last cigarette holder (F___!)  I walk a few blocks and snap shots of LITTLE BLACK DRESSES, POINTY PUMPS and DARK SHADES at Fred Segal Santa Monica (knowing Jaimie has back-ups at home). I get into my car and head over to Ursula’s Costumes at Wilshire and 26^{th .} Never ever go to a costume store the day before Halloween weekend. I wait in line outside for twenty minutes, but when I get in I find a gold cigarette holder, yay!

Feeling jewelry-challenged, I go to Wertz Brothers Antique Mall and discover original multi-stranded pearls with rhinestones and the perfect earrings from the 50’s and 60’s. I email pics of the best to Jaimie and she makes her selection.

When I get home, on youtube I find a How-To Do Holly’s Do and send the link to my cousin. Jaimie Is THRILLED with my performance as a STYLIST (even though she doesn’t go for my Burberry Trench idea or borrow her friend Sarah’s cat).

I’m waiting for a debrief on the party (if she’s still sleeping in, it’s a GOOD SIGN.).

Even though I’ll be an ER Volunteer again for this Halloween, I feel less worried about the job situation.

If Acting doesn’t work out, I’ll just be something else next year. Ahaha!

Happy Halloween!

 (what are you gonna be?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012
• Gifts To Put On Your Wish List! (under $100)
• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer