Funny Stories + Hollywood Hurts | Evie Stewart's Funny Bone » Hollywood

So Hollywood: In A Good Way

Evie... — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:21:00 +0000

Identity Crisis

Yesterday when I was walking back to my car from the two hour spin/pilates portion of my day, a Hollywood tour bus passed me and the guide said into the microphone: “And here on our right is Paris Hilton.”

I turned to my left and smiled (I might’ve even laughed!) –

And witnessed a bus full of tourists spin from–

Oh my God is it her?!

– to laughing because it was a pretty good joke.

I have to say the most ridiculous part is that deep down I was actually pleased that people could’ve mistaken me for her from afar.

I mean, clearly I’m in my –

post-stomach-flu-skinny phase –

(Didn’t write about it, ‘cuz I didn’t want to gross you out.)

For once a Paris comparison doesn’t bother me at all! ‘Specially if it’s from behind when I’m in my gym leggings.

Totally made my day. But forget that I ever told this story. I’m not proud.

Hey — know what would really really really–

MAKE MY DAY?

When Paris is walking and the Hollywood tour bus goes by and the guide says into the microphone –

And here to our right is EVIE STEWART!

Ahahaha!

(Who have you been mistaken for? Tell in the comments.)

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Vids & Webisodes: My Faves

Evie... — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:31:11 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M948pizKuxk

Certain oldie-but-goody-vids still make me cry like Susan Boyle showing the world that what’s inside is more important than what’s outside and the “all time” best wedding dance vid “JK Wedding Dance” (which totally makes me want to plan my wedding even though at the moment I don’t have a groom in mind.)

Whenever I need to smile I just watch the “Chest Bump Montage”, which appeals to my inner-goof and I can’t explain why I think “Idiots” is so funny, I just do.

The entire “Mr. Old Spice” campaign totally rocks (not only for me, but for gazillions of others – Who knew?) I just can’t believe I got into it at the end of the campaign, because I have so many questions I’d like to ask Isaiah Mustafa (oh yeah!)

I’m just now introducing myself to webisodes (um, nice to meet you, even though I think people who make and watch these probably are a little psycho — in a good way of course.)

Look, I’m the first to admit I’m new to this world but now I finally have time to watch — (a benefit of being unemployed.)

Part of what’s amazing to me is the talent that’s shows up in these whack-isodes on My Damn Channel and FunnyorDie (Megan Mullally, Zoe Saldana, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Bosworth, Paul Rudd, Rashida Jones, Topher Grace…)

I think “Children’s Hospital” is totally out there, but I’d be very happy to step in for Malin Akerman when she’s making some mega movie, because actually now I have hands-on experience in the medical field and Malin and I are EXACTLY the same type (hint hint Rob Corddry!)

What = Funny is SO relative, right?

Personally I’m not into raunch, although I know many are.

I like --

a “little” suggestive
romantic embarrassment
finding the funny when it comes to the heart

That’s why MY Best Web Series Award would go to— “WAINY DAYS“, obvi!

(Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks it’s great, because David Wain got the 2010 Streamy Award for “Best writing in a comedy series.”) “WAINY DAYS” has so many amazing webisodes from #1 – “Shelly” to the current #32 Donna-- there’s just so much to love while laughing.

And a word about Megan Mullally — I just luv, luv, luv her – whether she’s on the recently canceled “PARTY DOWN” or playing the “ER” Kerry Weaveresque Chief on “Children’s Hospital” or as Donna on “Wainy Days” she’s just SOOOOO good. I’ll take her “Own Special Blend” of comedy any day of the week.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aukH24thCOY

(What vids and webisodes do you find funny? Share in the comments!)

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Dear Innocent Heartbreaker:

Evie... — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 07:19:38 +0000

Your job has you saying ‘no’ all-day-every-day to lots of people and projects and material even if you like them, and that can’t be easy on you. So I’m here with a new way to help you say ‘YES!” and get that good karma flowing again.

It’s so NOT what you think –

I won’t beg you to look at me (no one likes a needy girl, ewww.)
I won’t tease you with my long blond hair and my killer smile (oh, right – I won’t do that.)
and I won’t chase after you with my long legs (I hate stalkers, obvi!)

But if you don’t take a sec to imagine finding say, the next Goldie Hawn or the next Anna Faris or the next Evie Stewart — (I like the way that sounds!) — won’t you feel awful when someone else does? In a big way?

If you really don’t want to fall for an up-and-coming actress who trips on her way up the ladder and falls (face first) into a court-ordered volunteer smock (fugly!) at a busy ER… then I can’t force you.

But when you first heard about me, you liked it all enough to ask for more… anything I can do to help you, uh, get to know me better? Maybe well enough to get introduced to your colleagues, to your boss, to your friend at the agency…?

Being an actress up for a part must be soooo much like being a screenwriter waiting to hear back about a submitted script. Audition, wait, submit, follow-up. Ugh. It never gets any easier either, does it?

So, my dear Innocent Heartbreaker — I know you don’t MEAN to keep me in limbo, waiting to hear back after that first fun meeting when you heard all about my life and adventures and all this. But if you could please put me and my FUNNY BONE back on your to-do list for this week, I’d loooove to hear from you…

Thanks!
xo – Evie

PS: Even if the chemistry’s not right on this one, it’s not your fault or my fault, so no hard feelings ’cause there’s always next time, right?

PSS: I’m closing the comments on this post for the first time ever ’cause I’m feeling insecure, but I know you guys are with me in spirit like always. Fingers crossed!

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HOTLINKS FOR ACTORS

Evie... — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:34:38 +0000

I’ve decided to “Act” like I’m organized by updating my–
Best of L.A. and Hotlinks pages.

Since I started with some of my I Love L.A. additions–
I guess this is PART TWO of my –

Updating Everything Plan

This list focuses on the needs of Actors, because Actors need all the help we can get, right?

So if you’re ready and set for some action, try some of these –

HOT LINKS: ACTOR RESOURCES in alphabetical order

a & i photographic services – isgo lepejian

backstage.com

committed impulse with josh pais

conrad allan

cynopsis.com

h cdonline.com

hollywoodreporter.com

lesly kahn

strategy coaching with shawn tolleson

stepphenwolf west

tvtracker.com

ucb theater

ute ville

variety.com

wilder brothers recording studio

(Got some hotlinks to add? Please tell about them in the comments.)

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HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!

Evie... — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:30:55 +0000

Hotties

On the home page of IMDB Pro right now is a picture of Betty White with the heading –

“HOT IN CLEVELAND is TV Land’s most –watched ever.”

Imagine – FOUR WOMEN (the youngest of which is 49) who in one show manage to bring in –

THE MOST FANS of TV Land’s History!

Four Actresses whose total ages add up to: 246!

Seriously this is HUGE news in a world where actresses like me start to worry when we’re barely on the wrong side of quarter-life.

Even though I had no idea what channel TV Land was on (thank god for Tivo!) I watched “HOT IN CLEVELAND” last night to see four sitcom legends (all previously on mega-networks) do something out-of-the-box and in-the-box at the very same time.

And BTW, they were – AWESOME!

HOT IN CLEVELAND may be pure sitcom but it manages to–
NOT feel outdated.

The jokes are modern–
but not dumb-funny,
or potty-humor funny,
or trying-too-hard funny
just– FEEL GOOD FUNNY

KUDOS to–
Jane Leeves, Valerie Bertinelli, Wendie Malick and Betty White!

You ladies are–

HOT and HILARIOUS.

Way to go super-smarty producer Sean Hayes! Bet you’re laughing all the way to the bank. (And you managed to make TV news that rivals the Lakers’ big win and Roberto and Ali flying through the air in LION KING!)

Interestingly, HOT IN CLEVELAND is now the hottest show in TV Land’s history. How cool is that!?

(How hot do you plan to be when you’re hovering around the half-century mark? Share in the comments.)

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2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY

Evie... — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:05:56 +0000

Family Matters!

Now’s the time when all the Trades are filled with pre-nom ads promoting every show, every actor everybody for the Emmy Nominations. It’s a little overkill if you ask me. Except when it comes to MODERN FAMILY! I luv Wednesday’s cover of Variety where they’re all wearing smeared white clothes looking all goofy like a real family.

Tight Genes

MODERN FAMILY has without a doubt raised the bar really high in the Best Comedy category, serving up laughs on SO many levels it’s impossible to count them all. The show has the good bones of Christopher Lloyd and Steve Levitan and the genius of director Jason Winer who showed his outstandingness when he directed the Liz Meriwether pilot: “Sluts.”

Each of MODERN FAMILY’s phenom cast of eccentric characters is so hilariously flawed in a totally unique and loving way, I can’t figure out from week to week which one is my favorite. They all make me simultaneously laugh and cry, which is the best compliment I can give to any show.

MODERN FAMILY’S INCREDIBLE CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Jay -- Ed O’Neill (crotchity but loving)
Claire -- Julie Bowen (we all know a Claire right?)
Phil -- Ty Burrell (nerdy to the max)
Gloria -- Sofia Vergara (sexy smart and surprisingly loving)
Mitchell -- Jesse Tyler Ferguson (OMG! There are no words)
Cameron -- Eric Stonestreet (ditto!)
Haley -- Sarah Hyland (her expressions kill me)
Luke -- Nolan Gould (the apple doesn’t fall from the Phil)
Alex -- Ariel Winter (a brainy bad seed)
Manny -- Rico Rodriguez (an old soul in a foreign body)

MODERN FAMILY’S dysfunctional members are so memorable and lovable and the stories so fresh and laugh-out-loud-funny that the only thing I can say that’s wrong with it is that it doesn’t last longer than 30 minutes.

My favorite MODERN FAMILY moments:

Manny’s Dad (Benjamin Bratt) shows up with extravagant gifts.
Claire tries to impress the firefighters answering Phil’s 911 call.
Claire’s friend (Minnie Driver) makes Claire feel like a loser.
Jay and Cameron hangout in the locker room. Oops!
Mitchell and Cameron set Manny up with a date.
Gloria surprises Jay in Hawaii.
Mitchell freaks out about a bird.
Claire and Phil spice things up a bit.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6--ce2OEcI

In case the actors all cancel each other out in the Best Supporting categories, lets hope hope hope MODERN FAMILY gets nominated and WINS in the Best Comedy and Writing categories because I can’t think of another show that does Finding the Funny any better than MODERN FAMILY.

If only they would adopt ME…

(What do you like best about MODERN FAMILY? Share in the comments.)

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Film Faves: Currently Speaking

Evie... — Fri, 21 May 2010 16:15:26 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHz31KjHAIM

My film faves (like all my faves) are always changing. I suppose I’m a work in progress. (Big shock, right?)

Anyway, here’s a list of some that quickly come to mind, in no particular order btw. I added a couple of my Mom’s faves like “Splendor in the Grass” (she was a sucker for Warren Beatty) and “Breakfast at Tiffany’s (who doesn’t love Holly?) and “Big Chill” (You Can’t Always Get What You Want“) for my Dad.

But as for the videos, I just had to include two of my

all-time hands-down faves…

The Royal Tenenbaums

500 Days of Summer

I’m sure I’ll think of more as soon as I push “publish.”

Up In The Air
Hurt Locker
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
Sex and the City
He Said, She Said
Funny People
I Love You, Man
The Hangover
Slumdog Millionaire
Vicky Christina Barcelona
The Dark Knight
Doubt
Milk
The Visitor
He’s Just Not That Into You
Two Lovers
Where the Wild Things Are
Lost in Translation
Waiting for Guffman
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Almost Famous
Stealing Beauty
Annie Hall
Amelie
The Savages
Sex and Lucia
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original)
The Wizard of Oz
Annie Hall
Butterflies Are Free
Splendor in The Grass
The Big Chill
You Can Count on Me
Wonder Boys
The Queen
King of Kong
City Island
Donnie Darko
Good Will Hunting
The Devil Wears Prada
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Meet The Parents
Little Miss Sunshine
Juno
Pretty Woman
to be continued…

From RT:
Eli: I’m not in love with you any more.
Margot: I didn’t know that you ever were.
Eli: Let’s not make this any more difficult than it already is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl6FbeoXeHQ

(What are your film faves and why? Share in the comments)

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Hollywood Flip: Staying Focused

Evie... — Mon, 10 May 2010 18:47:40 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQTFsbS013Y

Pilot Season for me was a BIG disappointment and I have to admit, a new low point, but picking myself up and reaching for the top is what acting’s all about (or so they say, whoever “they” are.)

There’s nothing quite like getting out in nature and breathing in the fresh air to remind me there’s a big world out there and I shouldn’t be afraid to explore it. It’s all about “acting” positive, right?

It’s like my Dad always says about a pebble. If you hold it up to your eye, it looks really big — like a boulder — but if you throw it as far as you can, it just becomes a small grain of sand.

Hope is Always in the Big Picture

My 2010 Pilot Season Pebble is already looking smaller to me. The good thing about acting is that there’s always something around the corner. After the Upfronts this month, auditions start up again with recasts. Yay – hope…

My HD Mino Flip Camera keeps reminding me --

It’s all in the way you look at it.

(What helps you stay focused on the big picture? Share in the comments.)

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A Great Find For Actors: Killthedoor.com

Evie... — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:13:33 +0000

Acting Out

Today starts out like a typical Monday–
I’m waiting like-FOREVER in a Casting Office, which generally makes me crazed (I’m already so nervous!) but luckily I’m sitting next to this cool girl, Ashley (who could easily pass for my twin) and–
She and I BOND.

The hour+ wait goes SO much faster because we keep trading Audition Horror Stories (We have A LOT of material to draw from!) I guess it‘s true about misery loving company, because we end up laughing a lot, which actually feels pretty good, since Auditions usually tend to make me feel more like crying or calling a Head Hunter to have my head examined for actually choosing to be in this insane industry.

Ashley’s recovering from being cast on a pilot for Cable and being fired before it’s even shot (Talk about depressing!) And I tell her how I felt when I was the only one being tested for a show on a Network (which I’ll refrain from mentioning just in case I ever go up in front of them again) and after Producers tell me (before the test) that I’m definitely “The Girl”— when the test is over, my Agent finds out that they’ve decided to keep looking. WTF!

The best part about sitting next to Ashley, besides meeting someone new to hang out with, is that she turned me on to killthedoor.com.

Killthedoor.com is THE place to go for Actors –

On the site it says–
We are agents, managers, casting directors, acting coaches and actors who want to give you a leg up on the competition.

It has inside info about what’s REALLY happening in the industry PLUS “Members Only” Discounts to Acting Classes, Coaching, Headshots and more.

The Posts on Killthedoor are–
Real
Insightful
Fascinating
Intriguing
And Definitely about– FINDING THE FUNNY.

Just added Killthedoor.com to my Bookmarks Toolbar, so I can check-in regularly.

I’ve decided that Killthedoor.com is like sitting next to Ashley every single day. Nice!

(When have you been surprised by a “typical Monday” ? Let me know in the comments. )

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Wardrobe Recycling at Wasteland

Evie... — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:42:02 +0000

Meet me on Melrose

Not only do I have to
ACT like “the girl,”

I have to
LOOK like “the girl.”

Audition PRESSURE!

This requires creative thinking since, as you may have guessed, my fashion budget has taken a recent nosedive.

Luckily I learned from my best friend Rachel (who now lives in Portland) to buy quality instead of quantity. She’s like a fashion psychic. She knew Tracey Ross on Sunset was going out of business before anyone else and told me about the practically everything off sale before it was even announced.

And um– whenever I do get a paycheck, I tend to splurge designer-wise (I know, I know.)

Once (when I actually was working) there was this really sweet costumer who let me take home stuff they bought for me to wear on the show, as long as I replaced what I took with something from my closet (like if I took home a pair of Chloe pants, I needed to bring some other pants as a trade.) I can’t give you any details, because I’d get someone in HUGE trouble.

Basically in one way or another I started to fill up my closet with some very cool clothes.

Being that I love keeping up with fashion (my current fave is Isabel Marant) while having to deal with the reality of NOT getting a regular paycheck right now (just residuals) the only way I can justify shopping is if I sell something first.

If you suffer the same dilemma (and live in the L.A. area or San Francisco) I suggest you pack up your car and drive to –

WASTELAND

I'll take one of those

Basically bring in a suitcase (or three) of your old clothes, middle to high end lines preferably. With the recession and all, they’ve definitely gotten pickier about what they choose. They will sift through your pile and price the things they like and you will get 1/3 of the total in check form up front –

INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

But, be sure to weed out things that are out of style. Jeans that are bell bottomed and not skinny, they’ll pass on. Even Chloe trousers from a few years ago didn’t fly because the fabrics and styles felt dated.

Here a list of easy pleasers with the buyers:

- Alexander McQueen scarves
- Elliot Jeans (current)
- Sue Devitt silk dresses
- True Religion jeans- Martin Margiella anything
- Alexander Wang- Marc by Marc Jacobs- Kain tees

The hard part about selling to Wasteland is that it’s so tempting, so you’ll need will-power if you plan to leave the store with the money they give you.

vintage finds

Beware that with high-end items you may be dismayed by the value they place on them.

So if you’re lucky enough to have old Chloe, Stella or even Gucci purses to sell, I suggest you put those things on ebay http://www.ebay.com/ but that’s a whole other post.

(Do you recycle your stuff so you can buy more? Let me know in the comments.)

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