funny bone

Posts Tagged ‘E.R.’

Tonight on my ER shift, I’m walking down the hallway and I see this little Kid (two or three-ish) running around in circles, just outside Gyno (the room I NEVER want to be in).

The thing is, kids aren’t supposed to run around the ER–

It’s dangerous.
There are a gazillion germs.
Sick People aren’t really into Wild Kids.

So I pop into the room and ask the Mom if she wants me to play with him, which is a rhetorical question ( I think that’s the right usage) – because the Mom is flat on her back on a gurney, so of course the answer is, “Obvi.”

ER Volunteers Need To Be Creative

I say, “I’ll be right back” and go into the Storage Room (where the ice machine is) and grab a bunch of cups. Since I’m not sure if it’s allowed, I kind of hide them under my Volunteer Smock, which no one notices, since no one would ever actually look at someone wearing such a hideous outfit.

Back in the room, the Kid (notice how I don’t use names — I’m getting SO good at this Patient Confidentiality stuff) and I sit on the floor building cups. Yeah, yeah – I know there are a disgusting germs on the floor, but I try really hard not to think about them. Usually I don’t ask personal questions about why patients are at the hospital, because I figure they’ll tell me if they want me to know.

So as we’re building our architectural cup masterpiece, the Mom mentions that the Kid was born here two years ago (oh—I guess that makes him two- duh!)  So I ask if it was a happy experience (expecting a “yes” since the best reason to come to a hospital is when you get to take home something besides a bill) but she says, “No.” Apparently she and her husband didn’t think the doctor and nurses were the nicest (oops!)

Sometimes It’s Hard To Know What To Say

She goes on to say that her husband (who’s away on business in Chicago) insisted she come into the ER tonight to be checked because she’s spotting (I didn’t even know she was pregnant.)

I say, I’m really sorry and she goes, “But, tonight’s a completely different experience. Everyone’s so nice and attentive.” Whaaa?

Isn’t it weird she thought things were bad on a good day and good on a bad day?

(Has it ever happened to you where something turned out good from something bad or vice versa? Let me know in the comments.)

Talk about feeling the pain in unexpected places, I felt SO bad for the Teen Guy and his Girlfriend who came in with cuts (ahem!) everywhere. Ouch! Keep reading Love Hurts: ER Drama

Valentine’s Day is chance to do something special for someone, even if you’re not sure how it’s going to go. It’s the time to take a romantic risk and just go for it. Keep reading Valentine's Day

Maybe it’s girly, but I’ve always loved Valentines Day and the opportunity to do the “unexpected.” This year I think I’m going to use my baking genes to create something for the staff in the ER (and a certain doctor if he happens to be working.) Keep reading Valentines Day: The Way To His Heart

Tonight being in the ER was like a Hitchcockian drama with a mysterious woman, a bag full of hypodermic needles and an innocent bystander (me!) Keep reading Drama in the ER: Unsolved Mystery

I keep having the same dream where I’m stuck in a white room, hearing my supervisor’s voice “Remember the P’s,”(Purell, Post-its, Politeness). But the real nightmare is the Private Physician who’s Paranoid about Privacy. Those are the P’s I can’t seem to forget. Keep reading Minding Your P's and Q's

Volunteering at the hospital is scary if you’re afraid of Swine Flu, but it’s THE place to be for prevention or cure and it has its perks. But I still prefer my shots with lime. Keep reading Doing Shots

“Volunteering” in the ER on a Saturday that’s also Halloween? A very scary story for some; for me, playing a different kind of character, and I wasn’t being an actress at all… Keep reading Volunteering for the Unexpected

For a really scary story on Halloween, here’s what happened on my ER volunteer shift. Well, the part I can talk about so far. Keep reading In Recovery from ER Hell

What crazy wants to volunteer in the Hospital ER on Halloween? So I got stuck with the Saturday night shift. This Halloween I’m dressing as an annoyed volunteer! Keep reading Fake or Real, it's All Bloody

The hospital has this thing about privacy for all the ER volunteers, so all I can tell you about him is… not much… Keep reading All I can say is...

Stuck all day sitting in this stuffy fluorescent hospital classroom for 8+ hours, drinking burnt coffee, listening to this over-the-top pep talk by the hospital volunteer supervisor, Charlayne who’s beyond gung and way too ho. Keep reading VOLUNTEER TRAINING... (I Never Volunteered For!)

Mix one actress with scummy paparazzi, a harsh Judge & a day in an L.A. courtroom and you get my worst nightmare. I’m not allowed to say anything about the Judge but I know when I’m being used as a Hollywood celebrity example and this sucks. Keep reading Community Service Recasts Me