Not someone who IS “perfect” —  I’m talking about finding the person who’s perfect for YOU.

awwww....

The eternal search for a SOULMATE goes back to the beginning of time. From Eve to Angelina we all dream about finding… “the ONE”  –

You know, the one who makes our hearts go–

BaBOM.. BaBOM, BaBOM!

• We dream
• We crave
• We wish
• We worry
• We hope
• We pray
• We stress

How Do We Know When Love is Real?

To define what we’re looking for precisely is nearly IMPOSSIBLE. It’s a feeling we’re supposed to recognize when it happens.

But when we’re feeling an indescribable chemical reaction, how do we know that it’s not being confused by –

• Hormones
• Loneliness
• Desperation
• Impatience
• Indigestion
• Being in love with the idea of “love”
  ????

We don’t.
We wonder…

ROMANTIC CONUNDRUMS –

Is HE or SHE really out there? And available? And looking for us? How will we know when it’s the “Real Deal?” The person we’ll always love? Through sickness and boredom and temptation and all of the other hard moments that come with life.

What if we don’t recognize our soulmate-opportunity?
What if we’re on the fence?
Could we miss it?
Do we each have one “The ONE” or are there more of ‘em out there?

What if we marry our Soulmate and then meet a second Soulmate who’s even more Soulmatier? Then what?

Finding is more important than Defining –

I guess a ‘SOULMATE” is the person who brings out the best part of you being you. And vice versa.

The search continues…

(What do you look for in a Soulmate? Have you met yours?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Evie Stewart’s Valentine’s Day Playlist – 2012
• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?

decisions-decisions!

With just 2 1/2 weeks to go before the NETWORKS announce NEW SCHEDULES for 2012-2013 Primetime at the New York UPFRONTS, industry insiders are waging their bets.  This year it’s all about Soaps, Fish-out-of-Water-Starting-Over Themes, Workplace Comedies, Dysfunctional Families, Medical Settings, Cults, Westerns, Whatever… Now’s the time when Actors, Agents, Managers and Producers tune into the latest Gossip and Google News.

Wishing, Hoping and Watching –

Everyone has his/her own agenda, obvi – so you can’t really know if what you read and hear is accurate. Plus some pilots are just wrapping up now, so the jury’s still out. But, if history serves us right, some of the frontrunners will likely be on the new schedule. And sources like Nellie Andreeva at Deadline Hollywood do have a pretty good sense of what’s happening at this point, so I tend to pay attention to PRIMETIME PILOT PANIC: Early Buzz and PRIMETIME PILOT PANIC: Early Buzz Update.

BUZZ-WORTHY DRAMAS –

Drama contenders that keep showing up on all of the lists:  NBC’s  COUNTY (I’d love any project that includes Jason Katims and Jason Ritter); FOX’S KEVIN WILLIAMSON project with Kevin Bacon,; CBS’s ELEMENTARY; ABC’s THE GILDED LILYS; CW’s CULT, CARRIE DIARIES and ARROW.

FRONTRUNNERS IN COMEDY –

HA-HA Half-Hours: NBC’s ANIMAL KINGDOM, 1600 PENN, FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER; FOX’S REBOUNDING (Steve Levitan/Jason Winer – a winning combo), MINDY KALING medical office comedy, EL JEFE (Mercedes Ruehl /Ryan Hanson); CBS’s PARTNERS (3 X’s the charm for Mutchnick /Kohan); ABC’S HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS (Sarah Chalke), AMERICAN JUDY (I always love Judy Greer!)

Some shows are probably getting the message (wink-wink) that they can start staffing. Others have already gotten Early Season’s Orders like NBC’s Matthew Perry GO ON and ABC’s MISTRESSES.

Sooo many factors play into the decisions of the Network Execs –

• Star Power
• Producer Power
• Director Power
• Writer Power
• Diversity
• Studio Connection
• Audience Testing

Formal Announcements happen next month in New York. We’ll find out then which shows will be cancelled, which ones will get another chance and which new ones will be included in the lucky few.

2012 Broadcast Network Upfront Meetings

I’ll be secretly rooting for a Pilot I’ve got a guest role on, but I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m not going to say. We’ll all find out soon enough. Fingers crossed!

(For more on the contenders, check out “dev watch” on FUTON CRITIC!)

What kind of shows are you rooting for?

Friday 4-27-12 JUST IN….

Pilot Panic: 2nd Hot List Update  (my predictions are still tracking)

Thursday 5-3-12 As of today ….

Pilot Panic 3rd Hot List Update (many of my predictions are still looking good)

Monday 5-7-12 This week speculation will turn into actual news…

 PRIMETIME PILOT PANIC: Pre-Upfront Week Update

Liked that? Check out:

• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012
• Resolutions Revisited
• Programming My LIfe

you can do it!

We all have different styles when it comes to reacting to stress. Some of us have a gut-reaction, which results in an IUR (immediate uncensored response). Others need time to process. There’s not necessarily a good or bad way – whatever our way is, it’s ours.

take it easy!

Like Anthony Chan our Triage Nurse for instance:  One never has to wonder what Anthony is thinking – he can be judge-y, abrupt, off-putting… but you always know where you stand with him. He’s a perfectionist who’s hardest on himself and lots of times his condescending behavior is a result of how much he cares about getting things right. His ability to instantly react makes him great at his job, because in an emergency he’s immediately on it!  He’s very “exacting” so when he needs to take charge, he owns it. But I’ve gotta be honest —  sometimes his  overly-BIG responses to the teeniest issues push me over edge of the gurney!

On the flip side — the opposite reactive-style can irritating as well —  like someone who doesn’t react, or reacts passively –like a certain Doctor I know.  He tends to avoid confrontation by refusing to engage, mainly because he takes time to think things through. He’s good in an emergency in a different way, because he remains calm and doesn’t make the wrong decision. But in a male-female disagreement he’s EXHAUSTING because he tends to check out — like completely. I’m probably just jealous, because by the time he says something, he’s thought it through and says what he wants to say – carefully and thoughtfully. He lets the emotion simmer down and generally becomes more objective in the process.  Sooo annoying! Beyond!!!

To React or Not React — That is the Question!

I’m somewhere in the middle.  If someone is hammering on me I eventually react. I’ve been known to get a little teary and defensive. I rarely yell or raise my voice though. I’m always so worried about what someone will think of me in the end, that I almost always see the other side and realize maybe I could’ve been better.  Some people have a hard time with the words “I’m sorry.” For me “Sorry-sorry” is part of my daily dialogue.

I guess deep down we’re all a little sorry-sorry when we give others a hard time.  It doesn’t make them feel good, but it doesn’t make us feel good either. Even Don Draper feels bad after he barks at Betty or misunderstands Megan.

If only we could stay calm and say what we wished we would’ve said after we’ve played it over in our mind many times after.  Maybe Dr. Crush has the right idea after all. But don’t tell him I said so… ahaha.

(Coming up soon — GIVING SOMEONE THE SILENT TREATMENT… it’s another angle on diffusing the anger and often ends up in laughter. More when I feel like writing more…)

What’s your reactive style? Share in the comments!

Liked that? Check out:

• Being Stuck
• Programming My LIfe
• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer

I highly recommend it

Flirting is fun, free and invigorating. You can do it wherever you are, whenever you feel like it (usually).  It’s an easy smile and a little oomph added to the day. It can be the smallest moment that doesn’t lead to anything, or it can be the beginning of something big. Regardless, it’s what makes an ordinary day a little more interesting and it’s usually not planned —  it just happens organically.

Flirting is Most Interesting When You Least Expect it –

This cute anesthesiologist I’d never seen before — Dr. P — was passing through the ER during my shift last Thursday asking if anyone had scissors. No one did. I offered to help and knocked on Feng the Storekeeper’s door. Feng’s the go-to guy when I need to restock the Triage Coloring Books or find some random thing that’s usually stocked in an ER Room, but missing.  Unfortunately scissors were “on order.”

So I tracked down hottie Dr. P and relayed the bad-scissors-news. Always the helpful Volunteer, I offered to go get mine out of my car. I explained that I always carry around scissors, in case I need a weapon– you know, in case there’s an attack of some kind. That kinda surprised Dr. P (I love surprising guys), so he came back with –

But then I’d feel responsible if something were to happen to you on your way home.

Of course I liked that. Then a minute or so later, the Desk Clerk asked if anyone wanted to go in on the “over 500 million dollar lottery.” I said “I’m in” and so did Dr. P.  So I asked him since I was now going to my car to get my money anyway, didn’t he want me to get the scissors as long as I was there?

I’ll need to check on you, to make sure you make it home safely.

Okay, yeah — good idea and clearly another moment that illustrates the benefits of Volunteering at the hospital…

Well we didn’t win the lottery obvi (apparently no one in California did), but he did ask for my number so I guess that’s a win/win after all. Yes-yes it is-is.

Time will tell. My regular Dr. Crush has been slightly MIA lately, so I’m kinda-sorta open to the kind of FLIRTING that might lead to somewhere.  But, no matter what — the short-lived encounter did remind me why I love to Flirt. It feels good and takes me back to the way I felt in high school when a cute boy noticed me for the first time.

(How about you? Do you like to flirt as much as I do?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Hospital Heartthrobs: Mixed Messages
• Staying Calm vs. Over-Reacting

if you mean it, say it!

Feeling Appreciated –

• motivates us
• moves us
• connects us

When we FEEL APPRECIATED, we want to go the EXTRA STEP; feel that good feeling again. It’s such a HUGE element in just about every relationship and it can make the difference between THINGS WORKING OR NOT.  When we stop feeling appreciated, we feel like giving up—or finding something or someone  else .  Feeling “Taken For Granted” is the BEGINNING OF THE END.

I mean, listen to your friends complaints about almost any relationship… (does this sound familiar?) –

• He doesn’t get me
• She doesn’t appreciate all that I do
• My boss doesn’t know how hard I work
• I never hear what’s right, only what’s wrong.

Relationships (connect or disconnect)

I’m beginning t think that the biggest reason people break up is because we stop feeling like our other half “gets us”. Tyrell, the ER Radiologist can look at an X-ray and see exactly what’s wrong, but when he looks at his wife, he doesn’t get that she’s exhausted and unappreciated. He just sees her as a nag, — when all she wants him to do is appreciate that she’s killing herself to raise two little boys, hold down a part-time job,  take care of their house, stay in shape and be a GOOD WIFE. I keep telling him, she needs to feel like she did when they met – when he couldn’t get enough of her,; say enough cute things to her or smile whenever she walked into the room. Smiling is one of the simplest signals of appreciation, ‘cuz it shows that you’re happy and that maybe someone else in your world has had something to do with that.

Work (motivate or discourage)

The point of Volunteering in the ER is not necessarily so that someone will appreciate me, but I must say, it goes a long way in keeping me there and motivated. When a stressed-out Nurse gives me a hard time, I can’t help but wonder, “what’s the point?” Yesterday I had the opportunity to go up and help a patient I took upstairs to Labor and Delivery and I couldn’t believe the difference in the way the Nurses treated me as a Volunteer. They kept saying how nice it was that I was there and that I was really a big help in calming the anxious Mommy-to-be and I must say I wished that I could volunteer in Labor and Delivery instead of the ER (my patient has a girl, btw.)

Auditioning (nurture or destroy)

Weirdly enough, when I’m in Auditions, the best motivator for me is when the CD’s and producers LAUGH (I mean if it’s comedy, obvi) — but that’s how I know I’m being appreciated and doing my job. I don’t even have to be cast for the role, if I know I did well in the room.  Naturally applause and a call-back are the ultimate motivators (oh, and a paycheck) — but just feeling like someone’s glad I’m there helps… it really does.

Doing well in the room – whether it’s acting, working, loving –

is what makes us want to do more. So if you want to motivate someone, show a little sincere appreciation. Focus on what they’re doing right not wrong. It’ll go a very long way, trust me!

P.S. – I really appreciate you for reading this! Thanks!

Liked that? Check out:

• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• Programming My LIfe
• GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire

Now what?

Recently I was rushing to my ER shift (late as usual) and got into the WRONG hospital elevator. Wrong because for my first time ever, it wouldn’t open. Like many, I’d played out this scenario countless times before, wondering how I’d deal with it.

Would I:

• Be Claustrophobic?
• Be Panicky?
• Calm others?

Actually my first thought was:

At least I’ll have a good excuse for being late.

Since there was no one else in there with me, calming others wasn’t necessary. I felt strangely calm myself – maybe because FEELING STUCK is a familiar state for me right now.

I pushed the Emergency Button, got a Hospital operator of some kind who told me help was on the way.  But then help didn’t come quite that fast and instead of hearing a human’s voice, I heard what sounded like a phone disconnect. EEE-ah EE-ah!

DISCONNECTED is kinda like –

Living in Limbo

It happens to all of us, right?

We get stuck

• In our careers
• In our search for true love
• In discovering who we are

Spinning our wheels, but not going anywhere

WHAT IF we’re not supposed to worry about how to get UN-STUCK? Maybe BEING STUCK is a necessary part of life because it forces us to slow down, re-evaluate where we are and where we want to be — plus figure out how we’re gonna get there. Maybe it’s like  YIN/YANG or HAPPY/SAD  where you have to understand one to fully “get” the other. BEING STUCK is the polar opposite to MOVING FORWARD. So maybe it’s a necessary evil that we’re all supposed to experience.

stay calm

Getting back to the elevator:  after reflecting about being stuck for awhile, I saw an eensy crack between the elevator doors. So I used my own arms (and brain) to open up the doors and walk through.

It was kinda anti-climatic, but worked out for me, because I had my excuse for being late AND I felt empowered because I figured out how to move forward.

Obviously  I took the stairs the rest of the way — but first I called the Hospital Control Person to tell her what happened — and to  keep it from happening to someone else.

Now all I need to do is figure out how to get unstuck in my career, but that’s another post. Ahaha!

(what do you do when you’re stuck? please comment!)

Liked that? Check out:

• FEELING CONFLICTED: ER Volunteer
• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Living By The Code

Inhaling a bunch of BS

Hospital Employees say the craziest things when they think no one’s listening –  in the Halls, in the Elevators, on the Stairs, in the Restrooms, in the Parking Lot — need I go on?

The thing is –

In the Hospital EVERYONE’s Listening!

Can’t use names of course (Hospital Policy) — but there’s no law against using initials. So here’s the first post (of MANY, I’m sure) called: “Doctors Say The Dummest Things.”

Smug Surgeon, Dr. D – (D stands for more than just his name)

Today I drive into the ER Parking Lot, and recognize Dr. D, a good-looking (although he has put on some weight), arrogant A-hole who I (unfortunately) dated before he became God.

Dr. D’s leaning against the wall, entertaining himself by blowing smoke rings (in a Smoke-Free Hospital btw) when he goes: “Well if it isn’t!” (I wish it wasn’t!)  After a couple of “Hi-how’ve-you-been”s (not really caring about the answer) I casually mention my surprise that he’s SMOKING, since he’s now a SURGEON.

He smiles condescendingly –

Oh, it doesn’t matter because now we can cure Cancer!

(Oh really? Tell my Mom)

I couldn’t get out of that Parking Lot fast enough. Talk about blowing smoke…

Liked that? Check out:

• Drama in the ER: Unsolved Mystery
• APPRECIATION Goes A Long Way
• Being Stuck

so many feelings, depending...

ROMANTICALLY-INVOLVED  or NOT – February 14th is almost here. <3-Day = the ultimate “Chick” Holiday… obvi!  We get our hopes up in early January, feel anxious in late January and start to make Plan-B-plans by February 1st (Comedy Club anyone?)  Guys, except the rarest of the rarest, think it’s all “hype” and feel totally PRESSURED — to the point of catatonic-ness!

Making a SONGLIST for someone is a pretty safe bet (as long as you don’t get too mushy in the selection).

Here’s mine for this year (and last year) –

24 Songs — To put you in the mood…

• met before – chairlift
• too much in love – chris willis
• pretty lil’ heart- robin thicke/lil wayne
• one mint julep- sarah vaughan
• i misunderstood- richard thompson
• crew love- drake/ the WeeKnd
• night air (ramadanman remix)- jamie woon
• stay away- charlie xcx
• from now on- the features
• hold on- alabama shakes
• daydream- youth lagoon
• somebody i used to know (tunnel remix)- gotye
• the reflection of you- bear in heaven
• the night- school of seven bells
• no strings- mayor hawthorne
• diego garcia- you were never there
• call me back- the strokes
• lonely teardrops- jackie wilson
• i would do anything for you- foster the people
• ashes & fire- ryan adams
• love in motion (feat. mayor hawthorne)- sebastian
• if i had a boat- james vincent mcmorrow
• home again- michael kiwanuka
• walking in the sand – hollie cook

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHsLWGiIeFk

Liked that? Check out:

• Searching for a SOULMATE
• Hearing Voices or Am I Just Getting a Headache?
• Has Texting Replaced Talking?

Check out Ken Levine's Assessment: http://bit.ly/xV5Xfx

ACTORS! We’re insecure and yet we gravitate to the most insecure industry of all. Crazy!  And there’s so much to stress about  –

Aging | Looks | Relationships | Who’s Hot when you’re NOT | Keeping our Cool | Staying in the Mix | Timing.

PILOT SEASON: The ULTIMATE Test!

Well, here we are again at the beginning of Pilot Season. And this one is getting off to a slightly late start because Networks are still picking up Pilots… every day (and it’s almost February!) Nine Pilots were announced Friday! Half-hour Comedies are especially late — and I predict we’ll hear about a lot more pick-ups in the next couple of weeks, now that Comedies are back in a BIG-RATINGS-WAY.

I like to stay on top of what’s happening because it gives me something to discuss with my Agent before it’s too late.

PILOT PICK UPS – STAYING IN THE KNOW:

TV Tracker
It’s awesome! Expensive, but AWESOME, I subscribe to the daily alerts so I know when a Pilot has been picked up. I get an email alert with the logline, network, writer, producers and director for each project.

Deadline | Hollywood
They send out the emails for FREE, but they don’t contain all of the info in a concise way. Still, FREE is a big PLUS!

Futon Critic
You can go to the site to get the news releases.  But, I miss the old Futon Critic where they’d have Development Season Info by Network. I guess that’s a thing of the past.

To Know or Not To Know –

I love knowing that Great Minds I really respect (and would give anything to work with) like Jason Katims, Dick Wolf, David Kelley, Ryan Murphy, Greg Malins, Greg Berlanti, Kari Lizer and others are creating new shows that haven’t been cast yet — and that all of the Networks and Cable stations are looking for TALENT.

Look my way — please — I’m over here!

Some Actors stress about knowing. I can horriblize with the best of ‘em — TRUST ME —  but I actually like to know — especially at the beginning of Pilot Season because Opportunities give me hope – and I’m really big on HOPE!

I’m hoping to FIND THE FUNNY in front of a live Audience that laughs hysterically for 22 episodes… and then the HIT Series will be picked up again next year and the year after and the year after that… (and then I won’t have to go through Pilot Season again! ahahaha!)

F I N G E R S      C R O S S E D !

Liked that? Check out:

• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Resolutions Revisited
• INFOLIST: Oh, the possibilities…

kill me now

They say — “Timing is everything” but when is it gonna to be my time? The right time? Time to cash a paycheck?  Booking a job is like an oasis – it seems like it’s right there in front of me…like I’m on the verge. But when I get closer it just vaporizes into a cloud of disappointment. I feel like I’m constantly letting down the people who care about me — the ones who believe in me… it totally sucks.

I keep trying to —

Optimisticize myself

Work hard

Hone my craft

Network

Buck up

Self-motivate

Keep the door open

Find The Funny

Keep The Faith

Make lemonade

But frankly I feel –

Discouraged

Pessimistic

Frustrated

Like a failure

Sad

Mad

Bad

Blue

Euuuuu

Ugh!

I need to get over myself…

Uhm… I need to book a job!

Liked that? Check out:

• CASTING DIRECTORS: Connecting or Not?
• GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire
• Communication Gap