if you mean it, say it!

Feeling Appreciated –

• motivates us
• moves us
• connects us

When we FEEL APPRECIATED, we want to go the EXTRA STEP; feel that good feeling again. It’s such a HUGE element in just about every relationship and it can make the difference between THINGS WORKING OR NOT.  When we stop feeling appreciated, we feel like giving up—or finding something or someone  else .  Feeling “Taken For Granted” is the BEGINNING OF THE END.

I mean, listen to your friends complaints about almost any relationship… (does this sound familiar?) –

• He doesn’t get me
• She doesn’t appreciate all that I do
• My boss doesn’t know how hard I work
• I never hear what’s right, only what’s wrong.

Relationships (connect or disconnect)

I’m beginning t think that the biggest reason people break up is because we stop feeling like our other half “gets us”. Tyrell, the ER Radiologist can look at an X-ray and see exactly what’s wrong, but when he looks at his wife, he doesn’t get that she’s exhausted and unappreciated. He just sees her as a nag, — when all she wants him to do is appreciate that she’s killing herself to raise two little boys, hold down a part-time job,  take care of their house, stay in shape and be a GOOD WIFE. I keep telling him, she needs to feel like she did when they met – when he couldn’t get enough of her,; say enough cute things to her or smile whenever she walked into the room. Smiling is one of the simplest signals of appreciation, ‘cuz it shows that you’re happy and that maybe someone else in your world has had something to do with that.

Work (motivate or discourage)

The point of Volunteering in the ER is not necessarily so that someone will appreciate me, but I must say, it goes a long way in keeping me there and motivated. When a stressed-out Nurse gives me a hard time, I can’t help but wonder, “what’s the point?” Yesterday I had the opportunity to go up and help a patient I took upstairs to Labor and Delivery and I couldn’t believe the difference in the way the Nurses treated me as a Volunteer. They kept saying how nice it was that I was there and that I was really a big help in calming the anxious Mommy-to-be and I must say I wished that I could volunteer in Labor and Delivery instead of the ER (my patient has a girl, btw.)

Auditioning (nurture or destroy)

Weirdly enough, when I’m in Auditions, the best motivator for me is when the CD’s and producers LAUGH (I mean if it’s comedy, obvi) — but that’s how I know I’m being appreciated and doing my job. I don’t even have to be cast for the role, if I know I did well in the room.  Naturally applause and a call-back are the ultimate motivators (oh, and a paycheck) — but just feeling like someone’s glad I’m there helps… it really does.

Doing well in the room – whether it’s acting, working, loving –

is what makes us want to do more. So if you want to motivate someone, show a little sincere appreciation. Focus on what they’re doing right not wrong. It’ll go a very long way, trust me!

P.S. – I really appreciate you for reading this! Thanks!

Liked that? Check out:

• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• Programming My LIfe
• GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire

Check out Ken Levine's Assessment: http://bit.ly/xV5Xfx

ACTORS! We’re insecure and yet we gravitate to the most insecure industry of all. Crazy!  And there’s so much to stress about  –

Aging | Looks | Relationships | Who’s Hot when you’re NOT | Keeping our Cool | Staying in the Mix | Timing.

PILOT SEASON: The ULTIMATE Test!

Well, here we are again at the beginning of Pilot Season. And this one is getting off to a slightly late start because Networks are still picking up Pilots… every day (and it’s almost February!) Nine Pilots were announced Friday! Half-hour Comedies are especially late — and I predict we’ll hear about a lot more pick-ups in the next couple of weeks, now that Comedies are back in a BIG-RATINGS-WAY.

I like to stay on top of what’s happening because it gives me something to discuss with my Agent before it’s too late.

PILOT PICK UPS – STAYING IN THE KNOW:

TV Tracker
It’s awesome! Expensive, but AWESOME, I subscribe to the daily alerts so I know when a Pilot has been picked up. I get an email alert with the logline, network, writer, producers and director for each project.

Deadline | Hollywood
They send out the emails for FREE, but they don’t contain all of the info in a concise way. Still, FREE is a big PLUS!

Futon Critic
You can go to the site to get the news releases.  But, I miss the old Futon Critic where they’d have Development Season Info by Network. I guess that’s a thing of the past.

To Know or Not To Know –

I love knowing that Great Minds I really respect (and would give anything to work with) like Jason Katims, Dick Wolf, David Kelley, Ryan Murphy, Greg Malins, Greg Berlanti, Kari Lizer and others are creating new shows that haven’t been cast yet — and that all of the Networks and Cable stations are looking for TALENT.

Look my way — please — I’m over here!

Some Actors stress about knowing. I can horriblize with the best of ‘em — TRUST ME —  but I actually like to know — especially at the beginning of Pilot Season because Opportunities give me hope – and I’m really big on HOPE!

I’m hoping to FIND THE FUNNY in front of a live Audience that laughs hysterically for 22 episodes… and then the HIT Series will be picked up again next year and the year after and the year after that… (and then I won’t have to go through Pilot Season again! ahahaha!)

F I N G E R S      C R O S S E D !

Liked that? Check out:

• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Resolutions Revisited
• INFOLIST: Oh, the possibilities…

kill me now

They say — “Timing is everything” but when is it gonna to be my time? The right time? Time to cash a paycheck?  Booking a job is like an oasis – it seems like it’s right there in front of me…like I’m on the verge. But when I get closer it just vaporizes into a cloud of disappointment. I feel like I’m constantly letting down the people who care about me — the ones who believe in me… it totally sucks.

I keep trying to —

Optimisticize myself

Work hard

Hone my craft

Network

Buck up

Self-motivate

Keep the door open

Find The Funny

Keep The Faith

Make lemonade

But frankly I feel –

Discouraged

Pessimistic

Frustrated

Like a failure

Sad

Mad

Bad

Blue

Euuuuu

Ugh!

I need to get over myself…

Uhm… I need to book a job!

Liked that? Check out:

• CASTING DIRECTORS: Connecting or Not?
• GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire
• Communication Gap

stay open to possibility

Yesterday I got a DM from a Twitter Follower asking why I didn’t do a “Happy New Year Resolution Post” again this year. Oops! What did I write last year? Feeling brave I took a look at my lofty 2011 goals to DO, BE and GIVE more!

So much easier said than done –

I won’t start with excuses. I really did try. Some things went better than others. You’ll see. Um, maybe we should go in reverse order:

GIVE MORE –

I’d say I’ve earned a B or B+ in Giving, because this is where I’ve made the biggest strides. I clocked sooo many extra hours in the ER as a Volunteer and I really showed up with my best attitude (seriously!) Okay-okay, so for those of you who can see right through me, yes, there’s an advantage to showing up more in the ER when a certain Dr. Crush is around. But still – I’ve really really committed to helping the people I’m supposed to help whether he’s there or not. Swear!

BE MORE –

This one’s rough, because I actually was a Working Actress (today I got The Descendants screener — so there!) but I haven’t worked in over a year (truthfully longer) so I feel like I’ve totally failed in this area. Sadly, in Acting, if you’re not working you feel like a Wannabe, and that’s kind’a where I’ve been residing for awhile… very unfortunately.  So in this department, I’d say I deserve a C-  and not an F because several very supportive Casting Directors are still calling me in. For some unknown reason, they still think I’ve got it (even though I’m afraid I’ve lost it.) I hope they’re better at convincing the Producers than I am. Sigh…

DO MORE –

I’m trying to be all about the DOORS: keeping them open – and walking through Doorways I’ve never walked through before. So I promised a Commercial Director (in my Sunday Yoga Class) that I’ll be in the edgy short he’s writing|directing|producing. Normally I’d be a little leery, because once it’s been shot, you wanna make sure it won’t shoot a hole in your career (what career?!) But I’m gonna keep the faith as I walk through that Doorway. And then there’s this Music Supervisor (a friend of a friend) who’s gonna teach me what he knows, since I’ve always loved music. Maybe I’ll intern for him if Pilot Season doesn’t work out the way I’m hoping.

But speaking of Pilot Season – I’m going to try really hard this year to NOT second-guess my Audition opportunities. If my representation thinks I can be a separated Siamese-Twin-who-becomes-the first-one-armed-Astronaut, I’ll totally commit. If they call me in to play an 18 year-old Coed, I’ll enthusiastically cheer. Or if they want me to be a mother-of-three, I’ll find that instinct. Whatever opportunities come my way, I’m going for them and NOT LOOKING BACK!

Because next year I want to be able to look my Resolutions squarely in the face and go –

Hoo-ah!

 (What resolutions did you follow through on? C’mon be honest now…)

Liked that? Check out:

• Programming My LIfe
• LAUGHTER = Instant Gratification
• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012

it'll take more than reading a book

My brain has been stuck on COMPUTERS this week. It started with the news reports about the high-tech-intelligence-gathering-Drone that ended up in Iranian hands, freaking everyone out!

JAMES BOND would know what to do –

What I don’t get is why in this day and age there isn’t a button the CIA can press that makes the Drone self-destruct. I’m certainly not a techie (obv!) but it seems very 007-101 to me.  And even if our team doesn’t want the Drone to explode in someone’s face, can’t they make it melt or something?

I mean — EVERYTHING seems do-able in computers these days… EVERYTHING! Our entire WORLD is computerized — everything except for MY LIFE – which gets me thinking…

What If…

… I could program MY LIFE like a MAC ?

I would -

• FORMAT my career, starting with me starring in a feature, directed by Jason Reitman, written by Diablo Cody!
• ZOOM IN on the best night of my life (before the “until…”)
• ZOOM OUT on the worst (after the “until”).
• INSERT myself into the cast of MODERN FAMILY (hint-hint, Steve Levitan).
• EDIT myself before I say a less-than-witty-thing in an Audition (like the one last month where the Casting Director actually turned RED after I spoke).
• PARENTAL CONTROLS I’d censor myself from some of my impulsive choices —  like doing-the-wrong-thing-in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time.
• UNDO my mistakes: like the career faux pas that sucked me into hospital hell!
• REBOOT – and get everything back to the way it was…

BUT… if I could control everything, some of the GOOD THINGS that come out of the bad would no longer be possible – like meeting Dr. Crush in a place I’d never go if I’d ever had a choice in the matter.

Maybe what MATTERS is what we make of the moments that don’t go RIGHT.  Sigh…

Oh well, I guess it’s a blessing I can’t channel STEVE JOBS,  ahaha!

(How would you computerize your life if you could?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Resolutions Revisited
• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• APPRECIATION Goes A Long Way

Am I in or out?

As an Actor my sense of self-worth is unfortunately tied to the attitude of the last Casting Director I’ve seen. Right now I’m not exactly in the find-the-funny-frame-of-mind, because in November and December when Auditions are so few-and-far-between, a low self-esteem period can seem endless and hopeless

VIBES FROM CASTING DIRECTORS

A lot of Casting Directors tend to put out negative vibes. I get the sense that if they could’ve been actors, well…they would’ve.  I don’t get a hugely creative vibe from the majority — which is kind of crazy, considering the job they’re setting out to do. Of course there are EXCEPTIONS, and once you do a good job for one, it’s likely that his/her attitude will shift from unnerving to something more encouraging.

WAITING FOR A SIGN

I always look to the CD after I’ve finished my read to see if I get silent feedback like a nod or a wink or a thumbs up, which does actually happen. They’re not really allowed to speak once the producers are in the room. It’s almost as if they’re also on trial at that point. So I find that I’m not the only one trying to impress the people in the room. And I feel this responsibility to the CD to show him/her off, in return for bringing me into the room in the first place.

At a recent Audition for a rather large role in a big studio comedy, I walked in, smiling enthusiastically –

I would love to play this part!

Then, from the Head of Casting  –

“Well, here’s your chance, with this tone in her voice that implied, It will NEVER happen!

That was fun.

Afterwards I mentioned to my Agent, that it was a really weird room and the next day we found out that the miserable woman had been fired.

So I’ve learned that it’s really not so much about me.  Of course when I get a good response from a CD, I’m elated all day. The next day however, when I haven’t heard any word about getting the job, well… that’s a different story.  Sigh…

(Now remind me again —  why did I think that becoming an Actor was a good idea?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012
• Resolutions Revisited
• Programming My LIfe

What’s the meaning of MEANIES in our lives? We’ve all got ‘em. What do we do with them?

Mine is Briana the Bitch (the frenemy from hell) a resident in my ER who tells anyone who’ll listen not to trust me because I’m a “Man Eater!” Briana is stuck in the past. She may have a high IQ, but socially she’s still stuck in high school. Move on, girl, it’s 2011. Life doesn’t have to be AWKWARD! for the rest of our lives. Does it?

Today I hear about an even worse MEANIE from “Hottie,” an out-of-work TV Actress whose name I can’t divulge.  Hottie’s long-term Acting Coach, “Pushy” just turned into the DEVIL (the meanest of MEANIES!)

After the boundary-less Pushy’d wormed her way into Hottie’s professional and personal life, acting like her Coach/Mom/BFF/Therapist, she pushed Hottie too far when she told her to break up with her boyfriend.

“ENUFF! Hottie said, ” I’m going to break up with YOU instead!”

So Pushy, like a scorned lover, goes ballistic with 24/7 over-the-top, calls, texts and emails. Hottie blocks her. And Pushy takes it up several notches. She spreads RUMORS throughout the Industry that Hottie’s no longer acting because she had a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN! (F@#k!)

I ask Hottie if she’s gonna sue Pushy or at the very least have some hotshot Entertainment Attorney write a cease-and-desist, but Hottie doesn’t want to fan Pushy’s fire.  Hottie’s Manager says she’ll  “manage the situation.” So Hottie’s gonna take the HIGH ROAD. She’s focusing on being an Awesome Actress and getting LOTS OF WORK so she can prove Pushy wrong!

THE GOSSIP MEANIES IN OUR LIVES

Are they Insensitive or insane?

On medication or should they be?

Narcissistic or Nuts?

IS IT BETTER TO ENGAGE OR IGNORE?

Is their GOSSIP destructive or do others see it as “DRAMA?”

Gossip Meanies mess with our heads, our reputations and our ability to focus on what’s important.  Avoiding the DRAMA might be the best way to deal with these HEARSAY HUSSIES!

People seem turned-off by DRAMA these day, anyway.  TV Dramas are getting cancelled all over the place and COMEDIES are where it’s at.

So let’s all try to FIND THE FUNNY when it comes to the Meanies in our lives. If we can laugh at these LOSERS  the PATHETIC PUSHIES  of the world will lose their POWER!

(What Meanies mess with your life? What do you plan do about it?)

Liked that? Check out:

• Finding our Way (with a little help from our friends)
• APPRECIATION Goes A Long Way
• Programming My LIfe

Emmy - What if?

Here’s the deal. I (like probably every Actor on earth) have an AWARD SPEECH playing and rewinding in my brain, ready for the BIG MOMENT.  Revisions occur regularly after the OSCARS, EMMYS and SAG AWARDS  each year and of course any time I’m about to get a BIG BREAK that’ll TOTALLY CHANGE MY CAREER! (Sound familiar fellow-Actors?)

Naturally I pay close attention to what works (luv’d Ty Burrell‘s “Tight Genes”speech) , what falls flat and what touches people (hi-five to Guy Pearce for inserting the raciest touch!) If the acceptance speech elicits laughs and tears it’s probably a good one, right?

Here’s my current list to thank, but I’m still working on it. Luckily or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it, MOM!) I’ve got time to tweak it, revise it and hone it. And FYI I think it’s a total waste of the clicking clock to keep repeating the words, “And I want to” thank…  So I’m planning on keeping it in the present tense, to reduce my word count and show more appreciation.  Also, if we’re talking about peeves, I’m getting a little bored with “I didn’t think I’d win, so I didn’t plan a speech” — Come on! Everyone imagines “what if?” otherwise YTF are we waxing,  juice cleansing, botoxing, highlighting, training, boxing, running, spinning and ohmming?

Who I’d thank in my Emmy Award Speech

T H A N K    Y O U:

• SUPER DAD for cheering me on every step and for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself –
• JOSH – for sticking with me when everyone else thought I’d blown it –
• WILL Wannabe — if you hadn’t left me when I was down, I wouldn’t've learned how to reach higher –
• CHARLAYNE for forcing me to get my real act together –
• MIRA for selfless lessons, you rock! –
• NILES – OMG – for being my girlfriend, hairstylist and therapist–
• OLIVIA – for knowing there was so much more and teaching me how to access it — and…
• DR. A — Well you know, why you’re on this list –Oops!  Okay, I’ll keep it private (wink) –

Noooo! STOP the music!  I’m not done yet — Really! PLEASE STOP!

Thank you… Mom… for all of your signs to FIND THE FUNNY through the madness and missteps and for giving me COURAGE (gulp!) to deliver the MAGIC –

Mom, this one’s for YOU!

(If you got an award who would you thank? Please let me know in the comments.)

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connecting

My week ended positively Friday, with an excellent meet-and-greet on the lot. Excellent because we just CLICKED.

I didn’t try too hard, or second-guess myself while I was talking. It came out naturally. He had fascinating stories that built on what I’d just said (yes, he actually listened.) It felt like we were old friends meeting for coffee at Starbucks — or playing a really fun game of ping-pong that I never wanted to end. (Plus I bonded with his hilarious Assistant Kristen.)

The thing is, you can’t plan on clicking with someone. Can you?

CLICKING is organic

“Clicking” is kinda hard to describe, but you know when it’s happening and you know when it’s not. In an Audition, I definitely know if I’m clicking with the Casting Director or not…  (ugh! don’t get me started –- but do tell about your meeting horror stories in the comments.)

According to “Word – Tools  – Thesaurus”  ”clicking” means –

become clearly understood or easily communicate or work together

It’s —

• Inspiring
• Interesting
• Invigorating

And oh yeah, it makes you feel good too. Really good, right? Does this connect with you? Tell me about YOUR best or worst unexpected click with a comment.

P.S. You know I always reply when you comment!

Liked that? Check out:

• Programming My LIfe
• Finding The Funny: Emma Stone Does it Right!
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!

career thumbs up!

Chances are if you’re gonna see a heartfelt Laugher next weekend–

Emma Stone  will be in it!

Yep!

Hilarious Hottie Emma Stone’s
in 3 Box Office Hits –

THE HELP

CRAZY STUPID LOVE

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

And everywhere and in everything —  she’s memorable!

If you saw EASY A or HOUSE BUNNY you already know she’s fearless and fresh (the good kind + the spunky kind)  –

She’s the sexy sassy girl-next-door – with that VOICE! It’s the voice of someone who knows where she’s going. And lemme tell ya, this chick’s getting there (mind if I tag along?) ROCKET-SHIP-FAST! 

Whether she’s righteous Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan, a courageous cookie with a big story to tell, in THE HELP or Hannah the unlikely match for Jacob the Hunk (doing her awesome Dirty Dancing” leap) in CRAZY STUPID LOVE, this modern day Rosalind Russell brings abracadabra magic to the screen + thumps of joy to our hearts.

CAREER PATHS

career OOPS!

And even though it’s Twilight-zoney how much she looks like another another freckled-face redhead who started in a similar way (on huge hits like PARENT TRAP, FREAKY FRIDAY & MEAN GIRLS) she’s absolutely nothing like Lindsay Lohan. NOTHING!

Emma Stone makes every RIGHT turn in her career. No roadblocks. She’s got Sandra Bullock smarts, Reese Witherspoon poise and makes Anne Hathaway good choices.

So as much as I’d kill for her career (and would love to hate her) –

I’m in total awe of the adorable Emma Stone.

She makes me want to be a better me.

So I will be.

Thanks Emma.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnIfFLifgek

Liked that? Check out:

• Programming My LIfe
• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012