Funny Stories + Hollywood Hurts | Evie Stewart's Funny Bone » Acting Lessons

Actors Keep Track: Pilot Season 2012

Evie... — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 17:39:22 +0000

Check out Ken Levine's Assessment: http://bit.ly/xV5Xfx

ACTORS! We’re insecure and yet we gravitate to the most insecure industry of all. Crazy! And there’s so much to stress about –

PILOT SEASON: The ULTIMATE Test!

Well, here we are again at the beginning of Pilot Season. And this one is getting off to a slightly late start because Networks are still picking up Pilots… every day (and it’s almost February!) Nine Pilots were announced Friday! Half-hour Comedies are especially late — and I predict we’ll hear about a lot more pick-ups in the next couple of weeks, now that Comedies are back in a BIG-RATINGS-WAY.

I like to stay on top of what’s happening because it gives me something to discuss with my Agent before it’s too late.

PILOT PICK UPS – STAYING IN THE KNOW:

TV Tracker
It’s awesome! Expensive, but AWESOME, I subscribe to the daily alerts so I know when a Pilot has been picked up. I get an email alert with the logline, network, writer, producers and director for each project.

Deadline | Hollywood
They send out the emails for FREE, but they don’t contain all of the info in a concise way. Still, FREE is a big PLUS!

Futon Critic
You can go to the site to get the news releases. But, I miss the old Futon Critic where they’d have Development Season Info by Network. I guess that’s a thing of the past.

To Know or Not To Know –

I love knowing that Great Minds I really respect (and would give anything to work with) like Jason Katims, Dick Wolf, David Kelley, Ryan Murphy, Greg Malins, Greg Berlanti, Kari Lizer and others are creating new shows that haven’t been cast yet — and that all of the Networks and Cable stations are looking for TALENT.

Look my way — please — I’m over here!

Some Actors stress about knowing. I can horriblize with the best of ‘em — TRUST ME — but I actually like to know — especially at the beginning of Pilot Season because Opportunities give me hope – and I’m really big on HOPE!

I’m hoping to FIND THE FUNNY in front of a live Audience that laughs hysterically for 22 episodes… and then the HIT Series will be picked up again next year and the year after and the year after that… (and then I won’t have to go through Pilot Season again! ahahaha!)

F I N G E R S C R O S S E D !

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Resolutions Revisited

Evie... — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 03:50:46 +0000

stay open to possibility

Yesterday I got a DM from a Twitter Follower asking why I didn’t do a “Happy New Year Resolution Post” again this year. Oops! What did I write last year? Feeling brave I took a look at my lofty 2011 goals to DO, BE and GIVE more!

So much easier said than done –

I won’t start with excuses. I really did try. Some things went better than others. You’ll see. Um, maybe we should go in reverse order:

GIVE MORE –

I’d say I’ve earned a B or B+ in Giving, because this is where I’ve made the biggest strides. I clocked sooo many extra hours in the ER as a Volunteer and I really showed up with my best attitude (seriously!) Okay-okay, so for those of you who can see right through me, yes, there’s an advantage to showing up more in the ER when a certain Dr. Crush is around. But still – I’ve really really committed to helping the people I’m supposed to help whether he’s there or not. Swear!

BE MORE –

This one’s rough, because I actually was a Working Actress (today I got The Descendants screener — so there!) but I haven’t worked in over a year (truthfully longer) so I feel like I’ve totally failed in this area. Sadly, in Acting, if you’re not working you feel like a Wannabe, and that’s kind’a where I’ve been residing for awhile… very unfortunately. So in this department, I’d say I deserve a C- and not an F because several very supportive Casting Directors are still calling me in. For some unknown reason, they still think I’ve got it (even though I’m afraid I’ve lost it.) I hope they’re better at convincing the Producers than I am. Sigh…

DO MORE –

I’m trying to be all about the DOORS: keeping them open – and walking through Doorways I’ve never walked through before. So I promised a Commercial Director (in my Sunday Yoga Class) that I’ll be in the edgy short he’s writing|directing|producing. Normally I’d be a little leery, because once it’s been shot, you wanna make sure it won’t shoot a hole in your career (what career?!) But I’m gonna keep the faith as I walk through that Doorway. And then there’s this Music Supervisor (a friend of a friend) who’s gonna teach me what he knows, since I’ve always loved music. Maybe I’ll intern for him if Pilot Season doesn’t work out the way I’m hoping.

But speaking of Pilot Season – I’m going to try really hard this year to NOT second-guess my Audition opportunities. If my representation thinks I can be a separated Siamese-Twin-who-becomes-the first-one-armed-Astronaut, I’ll totally commit. If they call me in to play an 18 year-old Coed, I’ll enthusiastically cheer. Or if they want me to be a mother-of-three, I’ll find that instinct. Whatever opportunities come my way, I’m going for them and NOT LOOKING BACK!

Because next year I want to be able to look my Resolutions squarely in the face and go –

Hoo-ah!

(What resolutions did you follow through on? C’mon be honest now…)

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Programming My LIfe

Evie... — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:39:29 +0000

it'll take more than reading a book

My brain has been stuck on COMPUTERS this week. It started with the news reports about the high-tech-intelligence-gathering-Drone that ended up in Iranian hands, freaking everyone out!

JAMES BOND would know what to do –

What I don’t get is why in this day and age there isn’t a button the CIA can press that makes the Drone self-destruct. I’m certainly not a techie (obv!) but it seems very 007-101 to me. And even if our team doesn’t want the Drone to explode in someone’s face, can’t they make it melt or something?

I mean — EVERYTHING seems do-able in computers these days… EVERYTHING! Our entire WORLD is computerized — everything except for MY LIFE – which gets me thinking…

What If…

… I could program MY LIFE like a MAC ?

I would -

FORMAT my career, starting with me starring in a feature, directed by Jason Reitman, written by Diablo Cody!
ZOOM IN on the best night of my life (before the “until…”)
ZOOM OUT on the worst (after the “until”).
INSERT myself into the cast of MODERN FAMILY (hint-hint, Steve Levitan).
EDIT myself before I say a less-than-witty-thing in an Audition (like the one last month where the Casting Director actually turned RED after I spoke).
PARENTAL CONTROLS I’d censor myself from some of my impulsive choices — like doing-the-wrong-thing-in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time.
UNDO my mistakes: like the career faux pas that sucked me into hospital hell!
REBOOT – and get everything back to the way it was…

BUT… if I could control everything, some of the GOOD THINGS that come out of the bad would no longer be possible – like meeting Dr. Crush in a place I’d never go if I’d ever had a choice in the matter.

Maybe what MATTERS is what we make of the moments that don’t go RIGHT. Sigh…

Oh well, I guess it’s a blessing I can’t channel STEVE JOBS, ahaha!

(How would you computerize your life if you could?)

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CASTING DIRECTORS: Connecting or Not?

Evie... — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:36:26 +0000

Am I in or out?

As an Actor my sense of self-worth is unfortunately tied to the attitude of the last Casting Director I’ve seen. Right now I’m not exactly in the find-the-funny-frame-of-mind, because in November and December when Auditions are so few-and-far-between, a low self-esteem period can seem endless and hopeless

VIBES FROM CASTING DIRECTORS

A lot of Casting Directors tend to put out negative vibes. I get the sense that if they could’ve been actors, well…they would’ve. I don’t get a hugely creative vibe from the majority — which is kind of crazy, considering the job they’re setting out to do. Of course there are EXCEPTIONS, and once you do a good job for one, it’s likely that his/her attitude will shift from unnerving to something more encouraging.

WAITING FOR A SIGN

I always look to the CD after I’ve finished my read to see if I get silent feedback like a nod or a wink or a thumbs up, which does actually happen. They’re not really allowed to speak once the producers are in the room. It’s almost as if they’re also on trial at that point. So I find that I’m not the only one trying to impress the people in the room. And I feel this responsibility to the CD to show him/her off, in return for bringing me into the room in the first place.

At a recent Audition for a rather large role in a big studio comedy, I walked in, smiling enthusiastically –

I would love to play this part!

Then, from the Head of Casting –

“Well, here’s your chance, with this tone in her voice that implied, It will NEVER happen!

That was fun.

Afterwards I mentioned to my Agent, that it was a really weird room and the next day we found out that the miserable woman had been fired.

So I’ve learned that it’s really not so much about me. Of course when I get a good response from a CD, I’m elated all day. The next day however, when I haven’t heard any word about getting the job, well… that’s a different story. Sigh…

(Now remind me again — why did I think that becoming an Actor was a good idea?)

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Carving A Pumpkin is a lot like acting!

Evie... — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:07:02 +0000

Pumpkins and Actors have a lot in common… more than our BIG HEADS!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzI1hKz9i9E

Please don’t squash our egos. It makes us feel pretty rotten.

Ahaha!

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Monday Inspirations

Evie... — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:28:10 +0000

do-over days

There’s something about Mondays that feels like a FRESH START – kinda like January 1^st when the New Year is in front of us. We leave last week’s pity party behind and FIND THE FUNNY in last week’s disaster.

Mondays inspire us, encourage us and motivate us to –

do better
look better
be better

Weekly Resolutions

Mondays are “get organized” days. We make that dental appointment we’ve been putting off (we make it weeks or months from now, but at least we make it!) Or we arrange to take the car in for service because the orange light that’s been on for weeks just turned RED and the car sounds like ET just swallowed a vibrator!

Diets start on Mondays. Weekly work-out schedules are planned on Mondays. Lists are made on Mondays. When a week starts out fresh, we do too. Life’s a little like school — if we screwed up last week’s test, on Monday we decide we’re gonna ace the next one.

Best part about Mondays? Even if we totally f-up this week, we’ll have another chance in 7 more days to try again. Ahaha!

I used to hate Mondays, but now I’m kinda grateful for them.

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IDENTITY CRISIS: Who Am I?

Evie... — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:01:00 +0000

acting sucks

I go from rising to falling star before anyone knows or gives a “F”. Am I talented or just kidding myself? It’s getting harder and harder to tell. Confidence is disappearing. How do I get the magic back? I don’t wannabe a wannabe. I wannabe where I was… before I knew it… before I blew it… Where’s the funny? I can’t find it. Where’s my “lost and found”?

Sure it’s shallow to wallow, but still I feel it…deeply…darkly. Sorry to drag you through this. I know I sound pathetic.

Big shock — they decided to go another way –

The world has bigger problems.

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GOOD LUCK – Wishing and Hoping…

Evie... — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:28:50 +0000

yess!

Two hours and fifteen minutes from now I’ve got a callback. It’s for a small, potentially pivotal part in good film. I love this script. I need this to happen. I’m prepared. Trying to psych myself up. Trying really hard to NOT think about how I’ll feel if I don’t get this. No. It’s time for some GOOD LUCK. I’ve done the work. I’ve gotten positive feedback. My agent says the CD is rooting for me. I’m prepared. I’ve coached, rehearsed, centered myself and I’ve been a good person in the ER – that should count for something. Right?

For the last half hour I’ve candle-wished and distracted myself by researching “Good Luck Quotes” –

THINKING POSITIVELY –

“The day You decide to do it is your lucky day.”~ Japanese Proverb
“Luck is believing you’re lucky.”~ Tennessee Williams
“When it comes to luck, you make your own.”~ Bruce Springsteen
“Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.”~ L. Coleman
“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
“Luck is believing you’re lucky.”~ Tennessee Williams

Yay. It took me thirteen minutes to write this. Now it’s in two hours and two minutes. Think I’ll run through it again before I get dressed.

Fingers Crossed! Wish me luck!

Sigh…

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EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS: Coming Clean

Evie... — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:11:10 +0000

I’ve been feeling GUILTY about something for the last 48 hours…I need to be straight with you –

In my last post about “GOSSIPS and MEANIES” I pretended like I was talking about someone else (you prob’ly saw right through me anyway.) I was really embarrassed about being a complete weenie since…

I’m “Hottie” (no, I don’t think I’m hot, but some deranged people do.) I’m the one who allowed myself to be manipulated by Pushy. Humiliating as it is to admit, I gave my POWER over to someone else. No one should do that. NO ONE.

Pushy couldn’t’ve pushed me if I hadn’t allowed it. Pushy wouldn’t’ve had any power, if I hadn’t given her mine. I allowed her to insinuate herself into MY life. MINE. Thankfully I’m away from her now, and growing a spine.

I need to OWN my part in the DRAMA, learn from it and move on. Maybe you’ll learn from my mistakes.

THE POWER IS YOURS –

If you’re ANYONE, ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING –

Never ever ever give your POWER away to anyone else. It belongs to YOU!

I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you in the first place.

xo/evie

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GOSSIPS: Fanning the Fire

Evie... — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:35:55 +0000

What’s the meaning of MEANIES in our lives? We’ve all got ‘em. What do we do with them?

Mine is Briana the Bitch (the frenemy from hell) a resident in my ER who tells anyone who’ll listen not to trust me because I’m a “Man Eater!” Briana is stuck in the past. She may have a high IQ, but socially she’s still stuck in high school. Move on, girl, it’s 2011. Life doesn’t have to be AWKWARD! for the rest of our lives. Does it?

Today I hear about an even worse MEANIE from “Hottie,” an out-of-work TV Actress whose name I can’t divulge. Hottie’s long-term Acting Coach, “Pushy” just turned into the DEVIL (the meanest of MEANIES!)

After the boundary-less Pushy’d wormed her way into Hottie’s professional and personal life, acting like her Coach/Mom/BFF/Therapist, she pushed Hottie too far when she told her to break up with her boyfriend.

“ENUFF! Hottie said, ” I’m going to break up with YOU instead!”

So Pushy, like a scorned lover, goes ballistic with 24/7 over-the-top, calls, texts and emails. Hottie blocks her. And Pushy takes it up several notches. She spreads RUMORS throughout the Industry that Hottie’s no longer acting because she had a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN! (F@#k!)

I ask Hottie if she’s gonna sue Pushy or at the very least have some hotshot Entertainment Attorney write a cease-and-desist, but Hottie doesn’t want to fan Pushy’s fire. Hottie’s Manager says she’ll “manage the situation.” So Hottie’s gonna take the HIGH ROAD. She’s focusing on being an Awesome Actress and getting LOTS OF WORK so she can prove Pushy wrong!

THE GOSSIP MEANIES IN OUR LIVES

Are they Insensitive or insane?

On medication or should they be?

Narcissistic or Nuts?

IS IT BETTER TO ENGAGE OR IGNORE?

Is their GOSSIP destructive or do others see it as “DRAMA?”

Gossip Meanies mess with our heads, our reputations and our ability to focus on what’s important. Avoiding the DRAMA might be the best way to deal with these HEARSAY HUSSIES!

People seem turned-off by DRAMA these day, anyway. TV Dramas are getting cancelled all over the place and COMEDIES are where it’s at.

So let’s all try to FIND THE FUNNY when it comes to the Meanies in our lives. If we can laugh at these LOSERS the PATHETIC PUSHIES of the world will lose their POWER!

(What Meanies mess with your life? What do you plan do about it?)