Manners – Are They Extinct?

LA breeds bad manners

LA breeds bad manners

For quite a while I have been thinking that guys my age (and even ten years older) are generally pretty clueless about manners. My dad thinks it has to do with Gloria Steinem and the  women’s lib movement confusing guys. Since he was raised Old School (the good way), Dad still — opens doors for me, let’s me walk into a room first, stays on the outside when we’re walking down the street — stuff that has pretty much vanished. And even though I’m completely fine on my own, I think it’s really kind of sweet. And I notice when guys don’t do it.

Most of the guys I know tend to be interested in getting theirs first  — whatever that is. One Guy took me to dinner at Giorgio Baldi, this super cool restaurant by the beach where neighborhood families like the Spielbergs and the Hankses can go without being hounded. The Guy — I must’ve blocked out his name, but he had a real job if we were going to Giorgio’s – but anyway —

When Nameless and I are about to be seated, he picks the “girl” seat and gives me the “guy” seat. It’s blatantly obvious that there’s a seating trend, because in the long row of tables-for-two against the wall—

Every other couple is seated:

with the girl facing out into the restaurant on the banquette,
and the guy facing the girl and the wall.

Everyone except Nameless! And me.  The girl facing the wall, and facing  all the other girls beside us, who are happily sitting in the GIRL’S SEAT!

Apparently looking at me doesn’t quite do it for him. Consideration wasn’t his forte.

Needless to say, the date was short.

Is Consideration a Thing of the Past?

Dad thinks this conundrum started with his generation, who in the 60’s decided that it was a priority to —

“Do your own thing.”

In theory this is awesome, creatively speaking. However, it sort of translated back then into the “Me Generation” and I think that kind of translated into a “Me, Me Me Generation” for us. Ugh.

Volunteering in the ER makes me so much more aware of others in need, I never really saw it before. Now this awareness is affecting my real life, because I’ve started to notice that inconsiderate things get on my nerves that didn’t before.

Like yesterday, I’m at Whole Foods, where this short Little Old Lady struggles to get a big bag of cat food from a high-ish shelf. She’s standing inches away from this Workout Man who’s loading his cart with dog food. Clearly he doesn’t (or doesn’t want to) see her at all. I wait a few seconds to see if he intends to redeem himself and when he doesn’t I reach up and get the cat kibble for her and then I go grab a cart so she doesn’t have to lug the big bag.  She thanks me over and over. You’d think that I’d just given her a winning lottery ticket, seriously.

Then today on the way into my boxing class I see an Old Man wobbily navigating the sidewalk, when two Teen Girls in jabber-mode practically run him down,  and don’t even notice (come ON people!)

So I guess if I have to find one good thing about being forced to Volunteer in the ER, it’s that I now I notice.

(I wonder if a certain doctor will notice that I notice?)

What bad or good manners have you seen lately? Let me know… we gotta makes changes, people.

4 responses to “Manners – Are They Extinct?”

  • This is where I’m glad I was raised in an Asian household, whose pillars were discipline and respect, especially to the elderly.

    Sadly, though, I think people don’t notice poor manners because they aren’t aware of what are good manners. There are resources, sure, but those aren’t in the forefront of the modern mindset.

    Maybe you can be the one to change that?
    .-= Check out nicopolitan´s latest: Get Through Monday (Lesson 4) =-.

    • Evie...:

      As usual, you’re right. I’m afraid people don’t know what’s missing. It’s really unfortunate. But, if we all try a little, the world might become a more considerate place.

  • P T:

    You’re a kind and generous soul! I’m so happy to have met you online! Nowadays, decorum and code of conduct mean nothing. It’s a shame really and what beats me is how can people turn a blind eye when it comes to help the elderlies…?

    Thank god there is a few out there like you…who notices and cares…;) Keep up the good work…
    .-= Check out P T´s latest: I Smacked Nicky! =-.

    • Evie...:

      It’s so easy to get caught up in our own stuff and I’m as bad as anyone, trust me, but I now realize that it doesn’t take much effort to help someone who needs it. And – BTW I’m really glad I met you online too!

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I’M A SLAVE IN E.R.!
Sentenced to volunteer at Greater L.A. Medical (GLAM!) Hospital... I'm on-call in my worst nightmare -- ?!
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