Feeling Appreciated –
- motivates us
- moves us
- connects us
When we FEEL APPRECIATED, we want to go the EXTRA STEP; feel that good feeling again. It’s such a HUGE element in just about every relationship and it can make the difference between THINGS WORKING OR NOT. When we stop feeling appreciated, we feel like giving up—or finding something or someone else . Feeling “Taken For Granted” is the BEGINNING OF THE END.
I mean, listen to your friends complaints about almost any relationship… (does this sound familiar?) –
- He doesn’t get me
- She doesn’t appreciate all that I do
- My boss doesn’t know how hard I work
- I never hear what’s right, only what’s wrong.
Relationships (connect or disconnect)
I’m beginning t think that the biggest reason people break up is because we stop feeling like our other half “gets us”. Tyrell, the ER Radiologist can look at an X-ray and see exactly what’s wrong, but when he looks at his wife, he doesn’t get that she’s exhausted and unappreciated. He just sees her as a nag, — when all she wants him to do is appreciate that she’s killing herself to raise two little boys, hold down a part-time job, take care of their house, stay in shape and be a GOOD WIFE. I keep telling him, she needs to feel like she did when they met – when he couldn’t get enough of her,; say enough cute things to her or smile whenever she walked into the room. Smiling is one of the simplest signals of appreciation, ‘cuz it shows that you’re happy and that maybe someone else in your world has had something to do with that.
Work (motivate or discourage)
The point of Volunteering in the ER is not necessarily so that someone will appreciate me, but I must say, it goes a long way in keeping me there and motivated. When a stressed-out Nurse gives me a hard time, I can’t help but wonder, “what’s the point?” Yesterday I had the opportunity to go up and help a patient I took upstairs to Labor and Delivery and I couldn’t believe the difference in the way the Nurses treated me as a Volunteer. They kept saying how nice it was that I was there and that I was really a big help in calming the anxious Mommy-to-be and I must say I wished that I could volunteer in Labor and Delivery instead of the ER (my patient has a girl, btw.)
Auditioning (nurture or destroy)
Weirdly enough, when I’m in Auditions, the best motivator for me is when the CD’s and producers LAUGH (I mean if it’s comedy, obvi) — but that’s how I know I’m being appreciated and doing my job. I don’t even have to be cast for the role, if I know I did well in the room. Naturally applause and a call-back are the ultimate motivators (oh, and a paycheck) — but just feeling like someone’s glad I’m there helps… it really does.
Doing well in the room – whether it’s acting, working, loving –
is what makes us want to do more. So if you want to motivate someone, show a little sincere appreciation. Focus on what they’re doing right not wrong. It’ll go a very long way, trust me!