do-over days

There’s something about Mondays that feels like a FRESH START – kinda like January 1^st when the New Year is in front of us. We leave last week’s pity party behind and FIND THE FUNNY in last week’s disaster.

Mondays inspire us, encourage us and motivate us to –

• do better
• look better
• be better

Weekly Resolutions

Mondays are “get organized” days. We make that dental appointment we’ve been putting off (we make it weeks or months from now, but at least we make it!) Or we arrange to take the car in for service because the orange light that’s been on for weeks just turned RED and the car sounds like ET just swallowed a vibrator!

Diets start on Mondays. Weekly work-out schedules are planned on Mondays.  Lists are made on Mondays. When a week starts out fresh, we do too. Life’s a little like school — if we screwed up last week’s test, on Monday we decide we’re gonna ace the next one.

Best part about Mondays?  Even if we totally f-up this week, we’ll have another chance in 7 more days to try again. Ahaha!

I used to hate Mondays, but now I’m kinda grateful for them.

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A W K W A R D.  is my latest TV addiction!

high school humiliation

And on MTV – who knew? 

It’s about a girl who becomes popular for the worst reasons –

OK, yeah – I know I know. So that’s partially why I “get” JENNA and (need to) learn from her as she “acts” calmer than she feels in the red face of disaster. But, even if we weren’t on an embarrassing parallel universe — if we’d been in high school together, we would’ve bonded.  And yeah, I can SO imagine Jenna living my life ten years from now (sorry, girlfriend but I’ll teach you how to modify the fugly outfit.) Yep. SOULMATES.

The writing’s smart and authentic. It’s kinda “My-So-Called-Life-ish“ — charmingly painful and painfully charming. I love that Jenna’s friends and frenemies aren’t cookie-cutterish. Like SADIE (short for “sadistic?”) –– I mean, she looks more Rosie O’Donnell than your typical high school she-devil, but was clearly trained in bitchery by Blair Waldorf!

Luvluvluv guidance counselor VALERIE, as she tries to best-bud Jenna into revealing her deepest and darkest. And don’t get me started on MATTY McKibben (Jenna’s Dr. A). Seriously, in the last moments of Episode 2, “Knocker Nightmare” Matty kinda channels the “best of” Jordan Catalano and Ben Covington (thump thump).

Um yeah, Matty had me at –

I was tryin’.

Speaking of tryin’ – Try to watch AWKWARD. as soon as you possibly can!

You’ll FIND THE FUNNY as Jenna attempts to overcome her embarrassment and survive high school –

Kinda like me finding the funny as I attempt to overcome my embarrassment and survive…well…EVERYTHING!

Ahahaha…

Liked that? Check out:

• HOT IN CLEVELAND: funny find!
• 2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY
• Italy: Searching for Restaurants, Great Finds and George Clooney

protection from the paparazzi

Finding the Funny in Italy –

In the short time I’ve been in Lake Como,

I…

• couldn’t get the car in reverse and had to be pushed
• encountered a bus and lost my side mirror
• boarded the wrong train, twice
• went to the wrong restaurant and unknowingly took someone’s reservation
• got a rope stuck in a boat motor and got stuck with a big charge

Good Times!  (but it’s what memories are made of, right?) Meanwhile, I’ve also made some –

Awesome Discoveries

water view of George's villa

After hearing that George Clooney and his girlfriend broke up, I just happened to discover the location of his villa on my morning walk. My first clue was seeing two Paparrazzi hanging out behind a big black gate. My second clue was seeing a parade of glamorous blonds with snug white jackets over glittery tops and tight white jeans circling on mopeds. My third (and best) clue was when I was in a water taxi and the driver Ricardo showed me where George’s house, office and guest house were.

George's office and guest house

The next day a cute Italian named Simone invited me to dine at Aquadolce, a hot spot near hot George. It was belissima and deliciousa, but not quite as fabulousa as it would’ve been with George. Ahahaha!

hot spot near hot George

Liked that? Check out:

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• 2010 Emmy Awards: I vote for MODERN FAMILY
• Identity Crisis in the ER

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iJcyeF617g

I kind’a had a rough week, so I’m blanking on my #findthefunny Monday post today. Instead, I hope you don’t mind if I gather INSPIRATIONAL POSITIVITY from Shirley Temple (not the drink) and others.

I’m pretty sure by next week my glass will be filled through motivational osmosis and I’ll be back to–

Finding the Funny as Half-Full Evie – -

The best I can come up with right now is:

Try to sparkle, even when you’re not feeling shiny.

Here’s what more eloquent people have to say on the subject. I especially like the first one and the last one –

“Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.”  ~ Italian Proverb

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”  ~ Oscar Wilde

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”  ~ Author Unknown

“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. “ ~ Voltaire

“To be upset over what you don’t have is to waste what you do have.” ~ Ken S. Keyes,

“I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.”  ~ Anne Frank

“I am an optimist.  It does not seem too much use being anything else.“ ~ Winston Churchill

“Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.”  ~ Maurice Setter

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~ Art Linkletter

“I’ve got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I’m blue. “ ~ Author Unknown

“The world is full of cactus, but we don’t have to sit on it. “ ~ Will Foley

“Those who wish to sing, always find a song.  ~ Swedish Proverb

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.”  ~ Alphonse Karr

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.  ~ Chinese Proverb

“If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade” ~ Author Unknown

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” ~ Dr. Seuss

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I’d like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.
~ Irving Berlin

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a little wrinkle

Yes it’s Find The Funny Monday again—

This week’s #findthefunny moment happens at Whole Foods. I’m picking up ingredients for my Mom’s Sweet Potatoes with my little pal Owen (my neighbor Sara’s got family business to take care of and since my acting career’s on a break, I’m happy to hang with a five year-old.)

Sara’s Nana (Owen’s Grand Nana) died about a month ago (from Alzheimer’s that she had like, forever) and ever since then, Owen has been kind of obsessed with death and aging. Not in a scary way. More in an “Owenish” curious way. Since Sara told him that when people get really really really old they die, Owen has been extremely focused on exactly how old everyone is and how many wrinkles he or she has.

Whenever I see him, he gives me a rundown on how old he is, how old I am, his mom is, his dad is, his grandmother…you get the picture. And on the way to Whole Foods, he asks me what happens after we die. So I tell Owen I believe that we all get to be with the people we love forever and ever.  He’s completely happy with this response and he tells me that he’s gonna get a coffin that’ll fit everyone in his family and all of his friends. (Owen’s a real planner.)

So I set on the conveyer: sweet potatoes, crushed pineapple, eggs, pecans (and realize I need to go somewhere else to buy the mini marshmallows). I pull out my credit card and notice Owen staring at this Little Old Lady who’s right behind us in line.

Then, before I realize what’s happening, Owen turns around to me and loudly says–

She’s got A LOT of wrinkles, so she’s prob’ly gonna die really soon!

I speed-sign for my groceries —  smile weakly at the Little Old Lady. OMG! her initials are LOL, but she’s definitely NOT LOL! –

Sorry sorry — he didn’t mean…you’re not gonna, um–Happy Thanksgiving!

We get outta there FAST, but I’m pretty sure she’s NOT gonna die laughing!

(What #findthefunny thing happened to you? Share!)

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live and laugh

Today’s the 1st day of–

FIND THE FUNNY MONDAYS –

It’s a weekly post about finding the funny in something that might not otherwise be… funny.

About a month ago I started dating a guy (“G”). Not exactly my type, but potentially-interesting.  When I mentioned “G” to my dad, he was so happy that –

1. “G” has a real job (he’s not a writer/actor/musician.)
2. “G” actually pays for things when he takes me out.
3. “G” is nice.

My Dad strongly advised me to “act” normal around “G”– particularly at mealtime.  My Dad goes insane when I spend ten minutes explaining to the waiter what ingredients to eliminate from my order (“Sally” from WHMS is a piece of cake compared to me.)

So I thought, okay  I work out a lot. Maybe it won’t matter. So when “G” took me to Giorgio’s I actually had pasta instead of Dover sole, without the lemon butter sauce, no potatoes, and spinach steamed. When we went to Urth, I ordered that Napoleon I’ve been eyeing for like the last five years.  When we went to Boa, I ordered steak for the first time in a long time,  instead of my normal shrimp cocktail and a side of carrots.

But then I had an Audition—

I really thought I nailed the part of a hot blond who does a cooking show in her bikini… The CD couldn’t stop laughing. She said I did the scene in a completely fresh way.

Then was on the way out she asked–

But when are you due?

OMG OMG OMG!
I guess I’m DUE to start a diet tomorrow!

Calorie Counting UGH!

I called “G” immediately, to explain that we’re not a match. (I kind ‘a knew it all along.) The relationship’s much too fattening!

Then I called Sunfare.

(if you have any #findthefunnymondays stories to contribute, please share share!)

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www.youtube.com/watch?v=M948pizKuxk

Certain oldie-but-goody-vids still make me cry like Susan Boyle showing the world that what’s inside is more important than what’s outside and the “all time” best wedding dance vid “JK Wedding Dance” (which totally makes me want to plan my wedding even though at the moment I don’t have a groom in mind.)

Whenever I need to smile I just watch the “Chest Bump Montage”, which appeals to my inner-goof and I can’t explain why I think “Idiots” is so funny, I just do.

The entire “Mr. Old Spice” campaign totally rocks (not only for me, but for gazillions of others – Who knew?) I just can’t believe I got into it at the end of the campaign, because I have so many questions I’d like to ask Isaiah Mustafa (oh yeah!)

I’m just now introducing myself to webisodes (um, nice to meet you, even though I think people who make and watch these probably are a little psycho — in a good way of course.)

Look, I’m the first to admit I’m new to this world but now I finally have time to watch — (a benefit of being unemployed.)

Part of what’s amazing to me is the talent that’s shows up in these whack-isodes on My Damn Channel and FunnyorDie (Megan Mullally, Zoe Saldana, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Bosworth, Paul Rudd, Rashida Jones, Topher Grace…)

I think “Children’s Hospital” is totally out there, but I’d be very happy to step in for Malin Akerman when she’s making some mega movie, because actually now I have hands-on experience in the medical field and Malin and I are EXACTLY the same type (hint hint Rob Corddry!)

What = Funny is SO relative, right?

Personally I’m not into raunch, although I know many are.

I like –

• a “little” suggestive
• romantic embarrassment
• finding the funny when it comes to the heart

That’s why MY Best Web Series Award would go to— “WAINY DAYS“, obvi!

(Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks it’s great, because David Wain got the 2010 Streamy Award for “Best writing in a comedy series.”) “WAINY DAYS” has so many amazing webisodes from #1 – “Shelly” to the current #32 Donna–  there’s just so much to love while laughing.

And a word about Megan Mullally — I just luv, luv, luv her – whether she’s on the recently canceled “PARTY DOWN” or playing the “ER” Kerry Weaveresque Chief on “Children’s Hospital” or as Donna on “Wainy Days” she’s just SOOOOO good. I’ll take her “Own Special Blend” of comedy any day of the week.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aukH24thCOY

(What vids and webisodes do you find funny? Share in the comments!)

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Your job has you saying ‘no’ all-day-every-day to lots of people and projects and material even if you like them, and that can’t be easy on you.  So I’m here with a new way to help you say ‘YES!” and get that good karma flowing again.

It’s so NOT what you think –

• I won’t beg you to look at me (no one likes a needy girl, ewww.)
• I won’t tease you with my long blond hair and my killer smile (oh, right – I won’t do that.)
• and I won’t chase after you with my long legs (I hate stalkers, obvi!)

But if you don’t take a sec to imagine finding say, the next Goldie Hawn or the next Anna Faris or the next Evie Stewart — (I like the way that sounds!) — won’t you feel awful when someone else does? In a big way?

If you really don’t want to fall for an up-and-coming actress who trips on her way up the ladder and falls (face first) into a court-ordered volunteer smock (fugly!) at a busy ER… then I can’t force you.

But when you first heard about me, you liked it all enough to ask for more… anything I can do to help you, uh, get to know me better? Maybe well enough to get introduced to your colleagues, to your boss, to your friend at the agency…?

Being an actress up for a part must be soooo much like being a screenwriter waiting to hear back about a submitted script. Audition, wait, submit, follow-up. Ugh. It never gets any easier either, does it?

So, my dear Innocent Heartbreaker — I know you don’t MEAN to keep me in limbo, waiting to hear back after that first fun meeting when you heard all about my life and adventures and all this.  But if you could please put me and my FUNNY BONE back on your to-do list for this week, I’d loooove to hear from you…

Thanks!
xo – Evie

PS: Even if the chemistry’s not right on this one, it’s not your fault or my fault, so no hard feelings ’cause there’s always next time, right?

PSS: I’m closing the comments on this post for the first time ever ’cause I’m feeling insecure, but I know you guys are with me in spirit like always. Fingers crossed!

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magically thinking

Wow! I never knew there were so many opportunities to make wishes before I started researching this post.  Here are 26 (2+6=8) of my faves. Of course, my wish for the first one would totally depend on who’s riding the horse .

In my research I discovered a site: http://www.real-wishes.com/ where you make a wish and keep going back to reinforce it for eight days (besides putting an 8 in the mirror at 11:11). I have absolutely no idea if it works, but they don’t ask for any personal info and it’s free, so it’s worth a try, right?

Wish Superstitions:

• Make a wish at the sight of a white horse.
• Make a wish when you cross a new bridge.
• Touch blue and your wish will come true.
• If you make a wish before you go up a hill and do not look back, your wish will come true.
• Make a wish each time you eat a green M&M.
• If you find a four-leaved clover, hold it above the head and make a wish.
• Upon entering a strange house go to the kitchen and make a wish. It will come true.
• Make a wish when you see three birds on a telephone wire.
• Put a watermelon seed on your forehead and make a wish before it falls off
• When you see a gray cat, look at its fore feet and make a wish. If you see it again, the wish will come to pass.
• Make a wish before you blow out the candles on your birthday cake.
• Make a wish on the first star you see at night.
• Throw a coin in a fountain; make a wish when the water clears so you can see your reflection.
• Make a wish on a new pair of shoes before you wear them for the first time.
• Make a wish with another person on a wishbone. Each takes an end and pulls until it breaks. The person with the largest piece of bone gets the “lucky break” and the wish.
• Make a wish on the first robin you see in the spring.
• Find a penny, wear it in your left shoe, and your wish will come true.
• If you drop a dish cloth, step over it and make a wish.
• Wishes made on Midsummer’s Eve (June 23) are most likely to come true.
• Hold your breath and make a wish while crossing a short straight bridge.
• Make a wish when you see the first star and do not speak until you see another. The wish will come true.
• When you see a shooting star, if you say “money” three times you will have a full pocket book.
• If you find a horseshoe with the toe towards you, throw it over your right shoulder and make a wish.
• If you see a crow flying through the air, make a wish. If he does not flap his wings before he goes out of sight, the wish will come true. If he does flap his wings, look away, and if you do not see him again your wish will come true.
• Make a wish and throw a piece of wish vine over your right shoulder into the weeds. If it grows, your wish will come true.
• A wish will come true if you make it while burning onions.

Oh, and btw – I also discovered that “A frog brings good luck to the house it enters.”  But I guess it depends on whether or not he turns into a prince and likes the smell of burning onions. Ahahaha!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Fcft9j_ExQ

(What brings you good luck? Share in the comments.)

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Especially today. Her birthday. Every two days after Christmas we would always rally. It was a way of making the holiday celebration period even longer. More joy — when Mom was around.

Comfort Food

She would have been 50 today, a birthday milestone. And whether it’s a big birthday or not, I always imagine the memories we would’ve packed in — if she were still around. One of my best is our flower planting contest. I think I was about four.  I definitely remember going to the nursery and buying my own gardening gloves with yellow flowers printed on them and picking out a bright yellow watering can and a rake that was just my size.

At home, my mom pulled out two seed packets and said we would have a contest to see whose flowers grew tallest. She told me to pick the packet I wanted, a yellow one, or a purple one.  Both were pretty, but I was in yellow mode. So we raked the yard, planted our seeds side by side, and watered them every day.

Mom’s purple pansies were pretty, but they grew low, flat, close to the ground.

But my yellow flowers grew and grew and grew –

TALLER and

TALLER and

TALLER!

I won the tall contest! Apparently Mom had let me choose sunflowers that first day in the dirt, weeks earlier.

sunflowers watch over me

• Still, everyday she was around was a winning day for me.

Happy Half-Century Mom. <3

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