Funny Stories + Hollywood Hurts | Evie Stewart's Funny Bone » feeling the pain http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com I'm Evie Stewart: just trying to find the funny even when it hurts Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:13:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Feeling Frustrated http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/feeling-frustrated/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/feeling-frustrated/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 07:10:53 +0000 Evie... http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=8514
laugh at my feeling the pain

 

laugh at my feeling the pain

kill me now

They say — “Timing is everything” but when is it gonna to be my time? The right time? Time to cash a paycheck?  Booking a job is like an oasis – it seems like it’s right there in front of me…like I’m on the verge. But when I get closer it just vaporizes into a cloud of disappointment. I feel like I’m constantly letting down the people who care about me — the ones who believe in me… it totally sucks.

I keep trying to —

Optimisticize myself

Work hard

Hone my craft

Network

Buck up

Self-motivate

Keep the door open

Find The Funny

Keep The Faith

Make lemonade

 

But frankly I feel –

Discouraged

Pessimistic

Frustrated

Like a failure

Sad

Mad

Bad

Blue

Euuuuu

Ugh!

 

I need to get over myself…

Uhm… I need to book a job!

 

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/feeling-frustrated/feed/ 4 IDENTITY CRISIS: Who Am I? http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/identity-crisis-who-am-i/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/identity-crisis-who-am-i/#comments Sat, 22 Oct 2011 16:01:00 +0000 Evie... http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=7794
laugh at my feeling the pain
laugh at my feeling the pain

acting sucks

I go from rising to falling star before anyone knows or gives a “F”. Am I talented or just kidding myself? It’s getting harder and harder to tell. Confidence is disappearing. How do I get the magic back? I don’t wannabe a wannabe. I wannabe where I was… before I knew it…  before I blew it… Where’s the funny? I can’t find it. Where’s my “lost and found”?

Sure it’s shallow to wallow, but still I feel it…deeply…darkly. Sorry to drag you through this. I know I sound pathetic.

Big shock — they decided to go another way –

The world has bigger problems.

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/identity-crisis-who-am-i/feed/ 1 EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS: Coming Clean http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/embarrassing-situations-coming-clean/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/embarrassing-situations-coming-clean/#comments Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:11:10 +0000 Evie... hot links]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=7733
laugh at my feeling the pain

laugh at my feeling the pain

I’ve been feeling GUILTY about something for the last 48 hours…I need to be straight with you –

In my last post about “GOSSIPS and MEANIES” I pretended like I was talking about someone else (you prob’ly saw right through me anyway.) I was really embarrassed about being a complete weenie since…

I’m “Hottie” (no, I don’t think I’m hot, but some deranged people do.) I’m the one who allowed myself to be manipulated by Pushy. Humiliating as it is to admit, I gave my POWER over to someone else. No one should do that.  NO ONE.

Pushy couldn’t’ve pushed me if I hadn’t allowed it. Pushy wouldn’t’ve had any power, if I hadn’t given her mine. I allowed her to insinuate herself into MY life. MINE.  Thankfully I’m away from her now, and growing a spine.

I need to OWN my part in the DRAMA,  learn from it and move on. Maybe you’ll learn from my mistakes.

THE POWER IS YOURS –

Whether you’re male | female | gay |straight… If you’re in healthcare | tech support | a teacher| a bartender| in fashion | in finance| in the entertainment business| in the service business | self-employed | unemployed …

If you’re ANYONE, ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING –

Never ever ever give your POWER away to anyone else. It belongs to YOU!

I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you in the first place.

xo/evie

 

 

 

 

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/embarrassing-situations-coming-clean/feed/ 0 Annoying Accidents http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/annoying-accidents/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/annoying-accidents/#comments Tue, 10 May 2011 06:53:00 +0000 Evie... hot links]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=6503
laugh at my feeling the pain

OMG! I’m such a KLUTZ!

laugh at my feeling the pain

find the funny even when it hurts

Before my 1:00 shift today I thought I could squeeze in a mani|pedi. (Wrong!) I was excited to look my best for my meeting tonight at Craigs with a up-and-coming Writer/Director. Apparently I miscalculated.

Upsettingly, the whole process took longer than usual (How would I know Nail Spa Lane would be busy on a Monday?) Realizing I was LATE, I ran through the alley, and hopped over a planter, but my flip flop got caught on the ledge and I landed face-down on the pavement. OUCH!

A sweet parking lot attendant helped me up and asked me if I was okay in Spanish (at least I think that’s what he said.) Everything ached as I limped away in total embarrassment. When I got to my car I cringed as I looked into the rear-view mirror because the right side of my face was reddish and swollen. Still I had hope.

When I got to the ER, Anthony the Triage Nurse took one look and was actually nice to me for once.

My trip down “Ungraceful Lane”  got me:

  • A skinned right knee
  • A bruised left leg
  • A sprained right foot
  • A bruised right shoulder
  • A cut above my right eyebrow
  • A swollen, scraped cheek
  • the beginning of  (s#@t!) a black eye

Thankfully nothing was broken. I didn’t need stitches by my eye.  My hot E.R.Doc showed me his best bedside manner —  cleaning my wounds, bandaging my knee, wrapping my foot for support.  He slipped me some extra cold packs (sooo romantic – ahaha!) and told my supervisor Charlayne that I needed to have a few days off to recuperate.

Cast as “Klutzilla” in my very own HORROR MOVIE –

– I had to (boo hoo) cancel the meeting with the Writer|Director. (My agent said the character he’s looking for is NOT a battered woman!)

Oh well —  guess I’ll go buy some cute dark glasses and start my recuperation at Starbucks.

Living the dream…

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/annoying-accidents/feed/ 0 The Power of HOPE http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/the-power-of-hope/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/the-power-of-hope/#comments Fri, 15 Oct 2010 01:34:48 +0000 Evie... hot links]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=5209
laugh at my feeling the pain
laugh at my feeling the pain

the magic of believing

I was feeling a little blue this week until suddenly, after sixty-nine days underground, a super rad space-looking capsule lifted 33 smiling miners out of the ground, reminding me and the entire world that –

HOPE IS ALL AROUND US!

Hope empowers us. It makes the impossible possible and at the very least it gets us through the days we’re afraid we can’t get through. And, just in case we aren’t “feeling it,” there are so many signs.

Hopeful Signs–

  • a child learning to read
  • a clear blue sky after a storm
  • a second chance
  • a “yes”
  • a “maybe”
  • a wish
  • a spark
  • a smile
  • a first date
  • a secret glance
  • a surprise
  • a single rose
  • a sunflower
  • a wagging tale
  • rose-colored glasses
  • a store opening
  • a new home in the framing stage
  • an engagement
  • a baby’s first cry
  • a fundraiser
  • a dream
  • the first time
  • a mission
  • a twinkle
  • an invitation
  • a discovery
  • a magic wand
  • a crystal ball
  • rain after a dryspell
  • a butterfly
  • a twinkling star
  • a full moon
  • a Casting Director’s nod
  • good news
  • our heroes

What everyday signs of hope do you notice? I’m going to start noticing more because just making this list makes me feel more hopeful.

And since I’m feeling more hopeful,  I’m pretty sure I’m gonna rock tomorrow’s Audition and make that Casting Director nod, big time! Ahaha!

How ’bout you?

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/the-power-of-hope/feed/ 0 Patrick Swayze’s Final Bow http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/patrick-swayze-final-bow/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/patrick-swayze-final-bow/#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:33:38 +0000 Evie http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=253
laugh at my feeling the pain

So sad to read about Patrick Swayze on Twitter.

I was going to post about how I’ll never get to work with him, but when I started to type I realized how small that is… and it got me really thinking. His challenge was so enormous and he was extraordinarily brave. And strong, when he must have felt so weak. Helps put things into perspective… he wasn’t just acting, but it was a remarkable performance.

I guess no one knows if they’re courageous til they’re put to the test.

He gets an A+++.

This bit seems to capture his skill, joy and sense of humor — all while acting, and possibly not “acting” at all…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J69J18yMv-0

(right click to ‘open in new window’ when it shows “watch in YouTube” — it’s a quick fun scene)

Thank you, RIP.

laugh at my feeling the pain

Patrick Swayze - not just a pretty face

.

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/patrick-swayze-final-bow/feed/ 6 Community Service Recasts Me http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/life-in-the-er/community-service-recasting/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/life-in-the-er/community-service-recasting/#comments Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:44:16 +0000 Evie http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=78
laugh at my life in the er feeling the pain

Volunteering is great.  For some people.

But this is really messed up.
It wasn’t even my idea.
And it’s my career that gets hurt.

Just because of some sleeze and a slow news day, I’m screwed.

laugh at my life in the er feeling the pain

lady judge who killed my career looked like this, only not

I’m probably not allowed to say anything about the judge but I know when I’m being used as an example and she did and this sucks. I got hard time.

She sentenced me to a bazillion hours as a Volunteer.

Whatever, fine.

In the Hospital.

Oh god, anything but ­–

In the E.R.
­

– that.

Even though it’s been almost twenty years…
I can’t go there.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, if I’m not available to take jobs and I can’t take off to audition for
upcoming jobs, by the time I’m done with my sentence everyone who knows about me will have forgotten me.

And that’s not that many people, anyway…

I guess I really messed up.

.

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/life-in-the-er/community-service-recasting/feed/ 8 Busted http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/busted-in-la/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/busted-in-la/#comments Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:47:50 +0000 Evie http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=408
laugh at my feeling the pain

TMZ saves me the trouble of telling all the details…

Thanks to the paparazzi my career has been CANCELLED.

Pulled before it even aired.

Pathetic.

Sad.

Not Funny.

.

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]]> http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/feeling-the-pain/busted-in-la/feed/ 0 I HATE Google Alerts http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/acting-career/google-alerts-hated/ http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/acting-career/google-alerts-hated/#comments Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:58:59 +0000 Evie http://eviestewartsfunnybone.com/?p=282
laugh at my feeling the pain acting career

Will is such an ass he thinks it’s funny, but in less than 24 hours, I’ve managed to get a career’s worth of

bad press.

I think I’m keeping the sucking tabloids in business…

What, the trades need a bailout so they gotta target me?!

Hell, the Calendar section — Nikki Finke — Perez Hilton — !?!

O! M! G!

Could we get a little stock market crash or tsunami or asteroid attack

please!

— to get the 24 hour news cycle off me?!

“Breaking News” and it’s MY CAREER THAT’S BREAKING!!!

It’s in/sane… No phone, no going outside, Josh says to stay away from the windows, I hope dad doesn’t… oh god…– and screw TV, I’m unplugging everything, cuz this Google Alerts experiment is going crazy with the news…

KILL…  ME..  NOW…

.

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