kill me now

They say — “Timing is everything” but when is it gonna to be my time? The right time? Time to cash a paycheck?  Booking a job is like an oasis – it seems like it’s right there in front of me…like I’m on the verge. But when I get closer it just vaporizes into a cloud of disappointment. I feel like I’m constantly letting down the people who care about me — the ones who believe in me… it totally sucks.

I keep trying to —

Optimisticize myself

Work hard

Hone my craft

Network

Buck up

Self-motivate

Keep the door open

Find The Funny

Keep The Faith

Make lemonade

But frankly I feel –

Discouraged

Pessimistic

Frustrated

Like a failure

Sad

Mad

Bad

Blue

Euuuuu

Ugh!

I need to get over myself…

Uhm… I need to book a job!

stay open to possibility

Yesterday I got a DM from a Twitter Follower asking why I didn’t do a “Happy New Year Resolution Post” again this year. Oops! What did I write last year? Feeling brave I took a look at my lofty 2011 goals to DO, BE and GIVE more!

So much easier said than done –

I won’t start with excuses. I really did try. Some things went better than others. You’ll see. Um, maybe we should go in reverse order: Keep Reading»

confusing emotions

Ever notice when a Emergency Siren BLASTS just as you’re in the middle of a really happy moment (like falling in love, or celebrating something?) I do. It reminds me that JOY and SADNESS happen at the same moment. There’s never a time when all of the people everywhere are happy… or sad. I guess that’s what makes the world work in a weird way.  Unfortunately or fortunately we have to experience each emotion to understand the difference, as a basis of comparison, kind’a like SALTY and SWEET. I mean, even Fairy Tales have tragedy (sadly, Bambi and Cinderella lose their Moms.) Keep Reading»

if only I could affect the future

Last year I tried out a few New Year’s Superstitions (NOT all 20). If nothing else, I had a good laugh.  I opened all of the windows — let the old year escape, danced around a tree, and let my dirty locks flow through the air (oh yeah, I was a sight to behold!)

The Jury’s Still Out –

I have no idea if they worked or not, but things could be a lot worse! I’ve just researched 20 more and figure they’re worth trying. You never know… Keep Reading»

cute card from zazzle.com

OMG! We’re here already! HO HO HO and Hanukkah are happening simultaneously – Ready or NOT!

Merriment and Melancholia

I love the holidays. I hate the holidays. We drive ourselves crazy; go into debt; reminisce about how things used to be; miss our loved ones who aren’t here…  Still, we CELEBRATE Holidays year after year!

LOVE

• Discovering thoughtful and unexpected gifts
• DIY Creations
• Sparkle-y lights everywhere!
• Wrapping Presents
• Baking Cookies and Cupcakes
• Decorating  (I’m one of the Light Bulb Store’s best customers)
• Cold weather (even in Los Angeles it’s BRRRR… this year)
• Great movies
• Dressing up
• Christmas Parties
• Connecting with people I love
• Internet shopping (sooo much easier!)
• Having an excuse to do something for a certain doctor

HATE

• Aggressive drivers (hey Man, we’re all in a hurry – chill!)
• Running out of time
• Crowded stores
• Picked-over merchandise
• Stressed-out people who snap at me.
• Disappointing anyone.

I wish no one had to be sick or in the Hospital. I wish disadvantaged people in bad situations could go POOF! and make it better. The Holidays can’t be happy for everyone at the same time. But…. even with the Love/Hate situation, the thing we all LOVE MOST about HOLIDAY GIVING is that it brings the people we love together. And that’s really the BEST PRESENT OF ALL, right?

Merry Merry/xo!

(what do you love and hate about the holidays?)

it'll take more than reading a book

My brain has been stuck on COMPUTERS this week. It started with the news reports about the high-tech-intelligence-gathering-Drone that ended up in Iranian hands, freaking everyone out!

JAMES BOND would know what to do –

What I don’t get is why in this day and age there isn’t a button the CIA can press that makes the Drone self-destruct. I’m certainly not a techie (obv!) but it seems very 007-101 to me.  And even if our team doesn’t want the Drone to explode in someone’s face, can’t they make it melt or something?

I mean — EVERYTHING seems do-able in computers these days… EVERYTHING! Our entire WORLD is computerized — everything except for MY LIFE – which gets me thinking… Keep Reading»

Let 'em roll!

The best part of Holiday Shopping is in the DISCOVERY. When you happen upon a SPECIAL FIND you know it.

I love gifts that make people smile or Oooooo and Ahhhhh or go –

“Wow, how do you find this stuff?”

Gifts don’t have to be expensive. They just need to be THOUGHTFUL– and CAREFULLY SELECTED, so the recipients know you “get” them. (When someone “gets” me, I feel all glittery inside — ‘specially a certain someone!)

12 FUN FINDS (most of which I wouldn’t mind getting btw, ahaha!) Keep Reading»